I'm realizing 2 huge problems within myself

[bigdave17]

I don't believe I deserve to date hot women...until one shows that they're interested in me. When I do have one that shows that they're interested in me, I go into my normal comfortable self and am massively effective. I'm 100% certain I will do a great job with my date tomorrow because she has already shown very strong interest towards me. What this basically means is that I'm very good when women show interest in me but I'm horrible at cold approaching due to intense fear/anxiety. What would you guys attribute this to? Am I just putting women on a pedestal and making dating much harder than it really is? The weird thing is once women show me any interest, I go into a very comfortable/charismatic mode but until that point, I feel very intense anxiety/fear. I feel like I don't deserve for a random hot woman I see in public to like me.


My other issue is, I want to meet someone SO badly that I find myself falling for someone very fast. I'm crazy excited for my date tomorrow - now I'm not going to show it, I will be very masculine and confident around her (which is the only way I act when a woman shows real signs of interest towards me) but this is a horrible mindset. I want this soooooooooo badly that it's killing me. The strange thing here is I'm not a needy/clingy person. If I was to date someone - I would keep my friends and hobbies. I am a very independent person. I think the issue here is that I've wanted to meet someone for so long and been starved of any real meaningful romantic companionship that it's broken me down. Even the fattest person in the world will be super skinny if he is starved enough.


How do I convince myself that I deserve to date hot women and that hot women are not impossible alien creatures?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't believe I deserve to date hot women...until one shows that they're interested in me. When I do have one that shows that they're interested in me, I go into my normal comfortable self and am massively effective. I'm 100% certain I will do a great job with my date tomorrow because she has already shown very strong interest towards me. What this basically means is that I'm very good when women show interest in me but I'm horrible at cold approaching due to intense fear/anxiety. What would you guys attribute this to? Am I just putting women on a pedestal and making dating much harder than it really is? The weird thing is once women show me any interest, I go into a very comfortable/charismatic mode but until that point, I feel very intense anxiety/fear. I feel like I don't deserve for a random hot woman I see in public to like me.


My other issue is, I want to meet someone SO badly that I find myself falling for someone very fast. I'm crazy excited for my date tomorrow - now I'm not going to show it, I will be very masculine and confident around her (which is the only way I act when a woman shows real signs of interest towards me) but this is a horrible mindset. I want this soooooooooo badly that it's killing me. The strange thing here is I'm not a needy/clingy person. If I was to date someone - I would keep my friends and hobbies. I am a very independent person. I think the issue here is that I've wanted to meet someone for so long and been starved of any real meaningful romantic companionship that it's broken me down. Even the fattest person in the world will be super skinny if he is starved enough.


How do I convince myself that I deserve to date hot women and that hot women are not impossible alien creatures?

Complaining. Overanalyzing. Talking about it. Not fvcking. When you get your head in the game youll kick yourself for making it hard v

 

[bigdave17]

Complaining. Overanalyzing. Talking about it. Not fvcking. When you get your head in the game youll kick yourself for making it hard v

I'm getting my head in the game dude. I'm going out with this chick tomorrrow


but it's scaring me how incredibly excited I am for this date. If she ends up being fatter than I expected or ugly or stupid or whatever, I'm going to be crushed


I want it to happen so badly that I get very excited very quickly...to go along with that, I can't get women in real life unless they show obvious signs of interest or approach me first...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm getting my head in the game dude. I'm going out with this chick tomorrrow


but it's scaring me how incredibly excited I am for this date. If she ends up being fatter than I expected or ugly or stupid or whatever, I'm going to be crushed


I want it to happen so badly that I get very excited very quickly...to go along with that, I can't get women in real life unless they show obvious signs of interest or approach me first...

Just enjoy your time and setup opportunities for sex to occur.

 

[bigdave17]

Just enjoy your time and setup opportunities for sex to occur.

do you even read my posts before you respond?

I am very confident and massively effective around the women who obviously want to be with me, but none of those ever fit my standards. This has been true with the 12-15 women I've had sex with - it will be true with the next 500 women I have sex with who don't fit my standards. I need to learn to hunt the women I want

 

[17 shots]

but it's scaring me how incredibly excited I am for this date. If she ends up being fatter than I expected or ugly or stupid or whatever, I'm going to be crushed


I want it to happen so badly that I get very excited very quickly...to go along with that, I can't get women in real life unless they show obvious signs of interest or approach me first...

This is anxiety

Think positive, say it to yourself when you lose focus... thoughts are powerful

Maybe try meditating

 

[lamath]

do you even read my posts before you respond?

I am very confident and massively effective around the women who obviously want to be with me, but none of those ever fit my standards. This has been true with the 12-15 women I've had sex with - it will be true with the next 500 women I have sex with who don't fit my standards. I need to learn to hunt the women I want

Man its easy to be confident and effective around women who wants you.

Instead of making thread after thread you should do some reading and try and educate yourself.
Id read the dj bible so good post there.

You need to give a lot less of a **** for your date.



Gl