"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

I'm out!!! KBJ leaves SoSuave so he can live life!!!

Iguana

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I am a fvcking keyboard jockey!!!

I've been in this site for like 8 months or something and I thought my confidence and knowledge was growing like sh1t.

I read and read and read but didn't apply.

I extracted the main ideas.

I felt superior to my friends because I "knew things they didn't know".

Ok now read this:

This is my situation RIGHT NOW:

Serious one-itis with a girl named L. I'm dating her.

Everytime I'm about to call or see her I get extremely NERVOUS.

Everytime I'm with her I'm thinking "what should I say next?" or "should I kino?" or analyzing what she says so I can land a C&F comment. And when I do say something C&F, guess what? She doesn't laugh at all. I am not being NATURAL at all.

There are a lot of guys who like this girl and she hasn't forgotten her exboyfriend, so I feel I'm not good enough for her.

My confidence level is ZERO.

So what did I do? I came here again and read more articles, but that didn't help me even in the slightest.

I have so much DJ information in my head that I don't apply any of it, or know how or when to do it.

I am so NOT being myself, I am totally contained by the formula.

I'm leaving, I'll be back next year. I wish you the best to you all.

I'm going to build my confidence in a natural way (working out, setting goals, self-improvement).

I'm going to live.

PS/ If you're not applying what you're reading (or are applying it in just one girl), please do yourself a favor and leave this site.

Iguana
Peace & Metal
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Hellboy

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I totally agree with the sentiment in your post. True habit is formed by experience, and not knowledge.

But that doesn't mean knowledge is obsolete. I have been reading up on some theories that state that your subconscious tends to use its knowledge automatically once you know it, and simply allow it to happen instead of forcing it. Try not to focus on what you're doing, instead focus on the outcome.

Picture yourself being happy and making this girl laugh and let your subconscious do the rest. Conscious effort is like swimming upstream. All you have to do is RELAX and go with the flow.
 

naoi deag se deag

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Senor Fingers posted about this once too. The same thing has happened to me before, leading to some embarrassing situations (like not being able to get it up!) because my internal reality was so out of step with the strong reality I was projecting, always too focused on trying to stay one step ahead. I think a good term for this is being overgamed - there's no room in your brain to move the seduction forward because you're so full of theory without intuitive structure. I think it's very tough to internalize this stuff without extensive field experience because it's so mindblowing. I wish I had some answers for you but I think stepping away from the community is the best move you can make right now.
 

flyinshark

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I'm going to build my confidence in a natural way (working out, setting goals, self-improvement).

I'm going to live.

Iguana, if you really do this and stick to it, then you have all my respect, man!
 

spider_007

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by Iguana
I felt superior to my friends because I "knew things they didn't know".
..................
PS/ If you're not applying what you're reading (or are applying it in just one girl), please do yourself a favor and leave this site.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

spider_007

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Originally posted by Iguana
PS/ If you're not applying what you're reading (or are applying it in just one girl), please do yourself a favor and leave this site.
But im so comfortable...... That would mean I'd have to go and take the initiative......

SH1T
 

ApocalypseCow2

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I think the last step on bootcamp should be to stay away from this site for a month.
 
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