I'm not insecure.. or am I? what the hell is wrong with me?? How do I fix it?

[MrNiceGuy]

Right, I've been wondering about myself lately.. I'm still (after about 2 years) a RAFC, now though, I've hooked up with the odd chick or 2 (literally) and had a ton more missed opportunities

I know the reason I'm not getting more is I still don't have the balls or confidence that I should have, I'm letting too many opportunities slip by through lack of confidence.. And I still let too much of my state of happiness depend on how much I feel loved and appreciated by the opposite sex..

So I guess I'm insecure then, but am I? I dunno, my self-esteem is pretty good, I like myself, I think I'm a good person, I think I'm reasonably good looking, I'm convinced I'd make a great boyfriend if only I could find a girl who would give it a shot.. Its more a confidence issue, I'm happy with myself that I'm a good person, but I don't believe for a second that other people see that, whenever I bottle an approach in my mind its always because I can imagine it going wrong so easily like has happened so many times before, while I'm happy with myself and who I am, I'm not convninced that girls see it.. so they don't its a self fulfiling prophecy because the lack of confidence means I miss the easy opportunities and get discouraged too easily if things don't work out, how do I fix this???

 

[frivolousz21]

how many times do I have to tell you this!

go talk to 100 women by next week...and your game will be ascended.

when I got here 1 yr ago..I did a bootcamp..

one weekend I hit on 30 women..and I ended up with 3 numbers..yea ****ty huh?

the next weekend i did the same and trippled my chances...and my game was exstablished....

its that easy.

 

[Lost In the Seas]

i think ur scared of rejections, u should just let things go their way naturally, don't think about things too much

 

[frivolousz21]

we still have the bootcamp thread..I remember we had 50 dudes in that one

 

[MrNiceGuy]

right.. I am scared of rejection.. except most times, when it happens I realise it doesn't matter, but it still discourages me... like a few weeks ago, approached some chick in a club, couldn't really hear what she was saying, but eventually managed to make out, "sorry I really like this song", or rather "i don't want to talk to you" if you translate. from then on I just thought, whats the f*cking point even if they can hear me chances are it'll be a waste of my time.. as you can see I'm too negative..

But there we go.. one person saying, go out there force yourself to do it.. the other that you think about things too much, let it happen naturally.. I think I need to strike a balance, go out there and make lots of approaches but don't think about them before you do them.. I have to remember, 3 second rule is very important.. in my experience if you just go for it without thinking, your chance for success improves and you're less p*ssed off if it doesn't work out since you've not worked yourself up over it.. I just need to make sure I'm in that mindset when I go out.. any tips??

What I hate at the moment though is how I still let too much of state of happiness depend on how I'm doing with women.. I let myself get annoyed with myself if I come home from a night out having not had any success with the ladies and I know the reason for this is because I'm thinking about it too much, if I just relax and go for it without stressing out too much I should be ok

 

[Tkman]

Originally posted by MrNiceGuy
right.. I am scared of rejection.. except most times, when it happens I realise it doesn't matter, but it still discourages me...

Been there done that ! They way I see it is if they reject me is there lose because I so funny, confident, a man and charming (which I am btw) !