Alright, my ex-girlfriend of 2 years and I just broke up about a month ago and I don't think either one of us sees ourselves getting together again so I'm trying to talk to new girls and I may be a little rusty. I'm a college student and I was in the library last week studying when a very attractive girl came in and sat at the table next to me. We made eye contact a few times so i went up and talked to her, she was smiling and acted kind of interested and everything seemed to be going pretty good but I couldn't tell if she was into me or not. After a few minutes I went back to my table and continued studying. A friend walked in that I was talking to for a while and eventually the other girl left. When she did I walked outside, got her attention and asked her to lunch. She had class that day then had to work. I thought if she really wanted to have lunch she would bring up going another time but she didn't say anything, so I confidently said "ok I'll just see you around then." Did i ask her out too early? Should I talk to her again? If so should I bring it up, or act like it didn't happen then maybe eventually ask her out again? Any advice would be appreciated.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I'm new, I would appreciate advice.
- Thread starter ksmith798
- Start date
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Welcome! You've got much to learn!
I would suggest pretending that it never happened and then forget about that girl. You're absolutely right that if she was interested she would have suggested another time, or even offered her number to you. In other words, she would've helped you out. But she didn't, therefore you can safely assume that she's not interested.
I would start by reading the DJ Bible. There's a link to it at the bottom of the page. Study study study.
I would suggest pretending that it never happened and then forget about that girl. You're absolutely right that if she was interested she would have suggested another time, or even offered her number to you. In other words, she would've helped you out. But she didn't, therefore you can safely assume that she's not interested.
I would start by reading the DJ Bible. There's a link to it at the bottom of the page. Study study study.
KontrollerX
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Generally if a chick doesn't counter offer right away she's not all that interested.
Though the exception to the rule in these cases are shy chicks.
So if you want you could ask her again eventually and if she still doesn't make a counter offer or let you know outright that she's not interested you'll just have to take the hint and next her.
Also a good rule to live by and stay in the DJ mindset is to always assume every girl wants you until proven otherwise.
Almost like that "innocent until proven guilty" thing in the courts.
So start having that mindset when you game chicks and make the h0 say no basically when it comes to your advances.
Though the exception to the rule in these cases are shy chicks.
So if you want you could ask her again eventually and if she still doesn't make a counter offer or let you know outright that she's not interested you'll just have to take the hint and next her.
Also a good rule to live by and stay in the DJ mindset is to always assume every girl wants you until proven otherwise.
Almost like that "innocent until proven guilty" thing in the courts.
So start having that mindset when you game chicks and make the h0 say no basically when it comes to your advances.
You did great by approaching her in the first place. Keep that up, and its a numbers game. Learn a few tips and tricks from here, but the number one thing is approaching. Most of the people here dont even do that. Approach ten girls a day, and you will have more dates than you can handle.
WhtRbt said:Welcome! You've got much to learn!
I would suggest pretending that it never happened and then forget about that girl. You're absolutely right that if she was interested she would have suggested another time, or even offered her number to you. In other words, she would've helped you out. But she didn't, therefore you can safely assume that she's not interested.
I would start by reading the DJ Bible. There's a link to it at the bottom of the page. Study study study.
ok, well next time.. should i ask for a girls number before i ask her to hang out?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Well, I wouldn't rule anything out just yet. Her mind might have been elsewhere when you put her on the spot and maybe she didn't think before she answered. I've done this a few times, and later thought about it and had the whole "DOH!!" moment, simply because I wasn't expecting to be asked out so randomly.
Say "Hi" to her next time you see her, and see if she approaches you, but I wouldn't suggest approaching her unless you want to come off as creepy.
Say "Hi" to her next time you see her, and see if she approaches you, but I wouldn't suggest approaching her unless you want to come off as creepy.
It depends. When you truly understand this, you'll be set. When you no longer need to ask 'strategy' questions like this, then you're getting somewhere. It will take months. Keep studying. You're on the right path.ksmith798 said:ok, well next time.. should i ask for a girls number before i ask her to hang out?
Yeah next time ask for the number and don't talk about the future. Then wait a week and call her and ask her out.
Or you could try for an insta-date. Actually some guys don't even go on dates. They just take the girl home for sex only. Or you could spend more time with her and then ask for the number. Or you could get the number and start texting to try to make her feel more comfortable, and then call and set up the date.
Do you see why it depends?
It depends on you, and what you want. It depends on your style. You will read tons of advice and much of it will directly conflict. But below all of this advice is a core that you will discover. And then all of your questions will be answered. They will be answered by you. You will just 'know' the best course of action.
Good Luck