I'm new, and i happen to need advice

[flyinshark]

Hey guys,

First, i wanna say that i've been reading the tips on this site and i find them excellent! I have already improved my success with girls a little bit thanks to those tips, and i wanna keep it up until i feel completely comfortable around girls. I also wanna be comfortable doing whatever crosses my mind when i'm with a girl, and not hesitate like i have a tendency to do (and finally give up because of shyness or other reason).

On to my problem...A girl i am very close to has told me yesterday (on Msn..hmm..) that this thursday she'll come at my place and we'll have sex all night long. I was very happy to hear that and started to prepare mentally and all, thinking of what a great time we were gonna spend soon. However, she sent me an email today telling me that yesterday when we talked she was completely drunk and she hopes that she didn't say anything hurtful or inapropriate, as she doesn't remember anything.

This girl isn't a party animal, but she does like to get drunk once every 2 weeks or so. Also, before anyone points that me and her only chat, i wanna say that we often talk on the phone too. Lastly, i think she once mentioned once that she'd wait for marriage before having sex for the 1st time, which could be interpreted in different ways, but anyway...

So, yesterday i was surprised by her proposition and very happy to hear it, and today i feel almost depressed after her email. I need advice on how to deal with her next time i call her (tonight or tomorrow).

Should i show her my sadness (or madness) ?...should i act in a macho way and tell her to get ready to be banged this thursday despite her saying that she didnt mean what she said? .. should i NOT show that it hurt me and disapointed me and continue acting cool?

Lotsa questions, and this post is also maybe too long, so i'll end it here Please give me some advice guys!

Thanks in advance!

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

WOW..what a total blow! Figuratively and literally.

Honestly bro...she's playing mind games with you. I've been drunk MORE THAN A FEW TIMES...and remember pretty damn near everything. She's using her being drunk as an excuse to say whatever she feels..get you all turned on..then pull back.

You say she's a virgin? Maybe she really WANTS to have sex..but doesn't want the guilt of losing her virginity before marriage...btw I think she's pretty stupid to wait...thats just my personal opinion.

I'd bust her balls on this one a bit. Next phone convo...say

"yea..you offered to sleep with me...but I turned you down because I don't think you could handle me."

Tell her it was not big deal. Don't be all needy, sappy or angry about it. She's using her one power (sex) in her favor. When she realizes you aren't phased, and are actually not impressed...she'll do more to try to make it worth your while.

Bottom line....be congruent about it. Let it slide off your nuts...date a lot of other women..have her see you dating other women...she now has to compete...raise your social proof...but by no circumstances are you to be upset, pissy, or moody that she didnt give it up.

She may genuinely not want to have sex before marriage...but it sounds more that she's just a young chick playing mind games....so play em back.

and welcome to the boards

 

[*29*]

A girl that you're very close to who asked for sex when she was drunk only?

Hm.

You're not desperate for sex, right?
Not much I can say that'll help you, except that you need TIME to "learn" or get the MINDSET. Of what? It's hard to describe.

Keep reading the stuff on this site, especially from the Hall of Fame. Don't take what you've read seriously. You'll eventually grasp IT. Remember, it will take time.

It's probably not what you'd like to hear. You'd like to hear some concrete facts on how to do this and that...but its all on your shoulders. Just don't be desperate. Look for more girls.

 

[lizardfloyd]

Originally posted by flyinshark
i think she once mentioned once that she'd wait for marriage before having sex for the 1st time

LOL, if i had a dollar for every time i heard that......

 

[flyinshark]

Thanks -HPNOTIQ- for the nice reply. I agree with u when u say that girls have this tendency to play games with guys' minds. I personally find it annoying, because i am always direct and say what's on my mind. I think things would be better and less complicated if chicks would be the same, but this may never happen so i am not counting on it.

And yeah, i also remember pretty much everything from when i am drunk, so i don't really buy her story. Knowing her and her reticence towards sex, i would say that she is now drawing back, realizing what she has said. Being drunk helped her be braver, otherwise she would probably not have said that. And also, she does seem to want sex badly, but her morals and education tell her that it's "dirty" and what not, so she's unsure what to do.

I may add that i recently told her that i didnt wanna sleep with her because i didnt wanna force her to do something that is not acceptable for her. I was actually using some reverse psychology on her, trying to make her want me. To my pleasant surprise, it worked, and she became upset that i didnt wanna do anything with her, and she told me it upset her. Therefore i was sure it wasn't gonna be long before she'd crack and ask for sex herself.

So now she did, but she is drawing back. I think u're right in saying that i must not show her how this really makes me feel, and i will do just that

Thanks to the other guy who replyed too

Cheers