Im married and it aint easy

[bcude]

I got married last year and for the most part its been okay.

However, my situation is not looking too good atm.

My wife and i are constantly arguing to the point chit hits the fan. I can get pretty violent and hot headed.

Anyways, recently weve decided that when chit gets bad, we should both just let it go. If one is angry, the other just walks out.

However, it seems its only me whos doing this. Ive handled the situations without letting it get out of hand but theres no reciprocation from her end. Due to this, only just today i lost my chit.

In the early parts of the relationship, it was me who had issues with her. Now its the other way round. She always has something to argue about.Be it the smallest of things.

I dont want my relationship to be toxic but it seems to be going down that road.

She didn't respect you enough not to stare at other guys in front of you early in the relationship with her wandering eyes, this is just the continuation of her lack of respect for you. It gets worse with time and you're now experiencing it. To live with a woman that doesn't respect you is a miserable existence that will eat you up.

Anyways, recently weve decided that when chit gets bad, we should both just let it go. If one is angry, the other just walks out.

However, it seems its only me whos doing this. Ive handled the situations without letting it get out of hand but theres no reciprocation from her end. Due to this, only just today i lost my chit.

No wonder. You can't fight emotions with logic. When she's angry/emotional you can't talk a woman out of that state no matter what you decided beforehand - you mostly ignore her whining and little tantrums until she calms down.
Work on your emotions aswell, a man should stay centered and not be too bothered by a woman and get caught up in her whining, and that is on you.

Alot of experienced guys in here told you to dissolve your marriage a couple of months ago when she disrespected you because they've been in your situation and knew where it was headed. They knew this was coming and unfortunately it probably wont get much better from here.

This once agains highlights the importance of vetting a woman for a long time before you give her the ring. From LDR to marriage is gambling in my eyes.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Op,

You're living my biggest fear, that's why I never married and never will. You can have a caring, monogamous, loving relationship without putting a ring on it.

That said, if it were me, I'd try a separation over a divorce. That may put the fear of god in her especially if you call for it. It's going to be tough during a global pandemic; not sure how the UK is doing in fighting COVID-19 (we're getting killed here in the US because we have zero leadership and an science-denying infantile realty star for a "president"), but maybe look for a small apartment to rent. Get your finances in order and stash $ if you have to so she can't get at it.

Plan for the best but prepare for the worst. Maybe even talk to a lawyer first.

Good luck.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I have done this on a few occasions and it works wonders. My issue is the patience that is needed to constantly do it. My wife can be relentless at times.

You’re good bro, no one has that kind of patience forever. Communication like this is almost like a therapy session because it brings to light underlying issues that neither party thought about before. If you communicate well like this often and it doesn’t do anything because she doesn’t change at all, then the onus is on her because she should have just started to know herself (and her own shortcomings/flaws) better by now.

But anyway, I decided to put this into words just so that you have something to look back on in case you forget. You have 3 things you need to work on:

1. Work on your physical attractiveness.
   • “She doesn't want to spend 20 seconds explaining that she's not attracted to you anymore, so instead she will spontaneously start to act like a complete douche bag. This will continue for the next 2 months as she is hoping you will eventually catch on and dump her. If you don't, she'll become totally ruthless and will then do everything she can to cause you pain.
     
     This is because she's a really sweet person who doesn't want to hurt your feelings.” (old quote by bigneil)
     • In other words, get in good shape. You gotta look great naked so that she’s actually attracted to you and feels like you’re a real man. Being in shape also makes you more in the mood for sex and makes you ‘recover’ more quickly too.
2. Dominate her sexually.
   • Put simply, she needs some dick.
     • She needs to be dicked down hard, and long. Why? It puts her in her place. Women love being sexually dominated, it makes them feel like a lady again. That’s why a lot of times after some rough hard sex, they become more feminine and docile. This should calm her down. Especially with her being a nympho, she has too much ‘tension’ pent up inside of her and she doesn’t know how to deal with it, so she just takes it out on you because you’re her man and it’s your job as her man to fuck her lol. Keep in mind that she doesn’t realize that this is why she’s acting cunty; she’s basically been repressed her whole life due to her cultural environment... Couple this with the hypersexualization of Western culture, and you have a VERY repressed young woman who doesn’t know how to express her sexual needs properly...
3. Don’t turn her down or make her feel ugly/rejected when you do have sex.
   • It hurts women to the core if they get all made up for you and just blow them off like that. They’ll resent you a lot for it afterwards. It’s because a woman’s value is based on sex and sex appeal much more so than men (and all women inherently know this despite what feminism has told them), so if you just blow her off when she tries her best to look good for you, you essentially are saying that her value as a woman, at her best, is nothing. It hurts them. And because they see you as the one hurting them, they’ll get angry at you for it, even though in your mind you’re just thinking “I’ll just go downstairs to get something to eat real quick” lol.

Hope this helps my guy.