"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I'm Losing It...Need Advice

Vlappo

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Hey guys,

I've been on a drought for a while now and can't seem to get myself out of it. I'm really frustrated and need some advice on what to change to get out of it.

Whenever I go to the bars, girls for the most part show no interest in me. I consider myself to be an above average looking guy. I dress well, take care of myself, and have a lot going for me. However, when it comes to talking to girls...its hard for me to strike their interest off the bat - I can once I get to know them, but not right away. Some of my friends though are entertaining and can make a girl laugh by doing impressions and whatnot - thats not my thing though.

For example, last night I pregamed and went to the bars with my buddies. I got pretty drunk and when 1 girl pretty much showed me no interest, I immediately went into a bad state of mind and couldn't get out of it. I think it was mainly because I was really drunk and it accentuated it. Also, I find myself in my head a lot and worrying about what people are thinking of me. I acknowledge it, but can't help but do that.

Also, I used to be very ****y/funny and would make girls laugh by making fun of them in a friendly way. I can't seem to anymore though...I feel like as I've gotten older, I've become more serious. I want to be able to get that back though because it worked.

Can someone give me some tips on how to change this and also give me some advice on how to approach girls at the bar and gain their interest right away.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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slaog

Master Don Juan
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It seems to be a downward spiral for you. The worse you think the situation is the worse it becomes. You need to break that cycle by thinking positive thoughts.


I presume you don't know what attracts women. Basically they're attracted to men who think highly of themselves. So although you're good looking its your attitude that women are not attracted to.


Change your mindset. If you're not confident it means you've a low opinion of yourself and thats a major turnoff.


Stick around and start reading so you actually understand women. You can also improve greatly in the short term by changing your body language. This is basically being conscious of your BL for a few weeks until it becomes a habit.
 

King_Supreme

Don Juan
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for some people the drinking ups their game at the club or bar but it seems like it does the opposite for you. so stop drinkin when you go to the bar if the alcohol is going to make you feel down when a girl show no interest. as far as the confidence (cuz it seems like u may lack it slightly) do some minor confidence builder exercises. such as learning a new skill or hobby or acquiring some new knowledge about something interesting that you know the average person doesnt know. right now im teaching myself spanish and im flirtin wit all the latinas on campus. they think my broken espanol is cute. my confidence is something that i have to constantly build. it needs constant maintenence like a bridge. if not then it will collapse and its happened to me several times. basicly any type of small accomplishment will help with your self image and confidence. also go on youtube and watch some of those old michael jordan commericals. that always helps with my confidence. especially watch his "failure" commercial.
 

Vlappo

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Thanks for the advice guys. I think my problem was that I had low libido...the sex drive just wasn't there. I started taking a natural supplement yesterday that increases your libido. I already feel like more of a man and can't stop thinking about turning girls on. I think my problem before was that I lacked the sexual desire so I wasn't really approaching girls with the right mindset/intent. I wokeup this morning and came to a realization. The reason why I got girls before is;

1) I didn't care what they thought of me and I expressed myself without doubts
2) I talked to girls and expressed my desires and flirted with them
3) I was more playful which loosend up the mood
4) I naturally kinoed more when talking to them

All these things I did made girls attracted to me because that's how a man acts. And lately I've just been acting like a ***** and even having slight depression. Now, with my increased sex drive...I feel like going out tnight and approaching girls without hesitation...asking them random things and escalating. The whole time, being confident in myself and not fearing the unknown. If I get rejected, oh well their loss.
 
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