I'm loosing it...

[deepower]

Well this is my first time here and i need some advice....thank you in advance.
I started seeing this girl, she lives in another state which im planning on moving there soon. We had a date and the night went perfect. I was dating her several years ago but i had to move. So we know each other a bit. Im over 40 and i want to have a family and she is perfect for that. Intelligent, independent, beautiful and not crazy. So i started talking to her about what i want. She has a son 14 years old, divorced but seems like theres no problems in there. She likes me a lot and she said that she wasnt really looking for that but it will be ideal for her. So everything went well from there, texting almost everydays and making plans.I invited her to my place for the weekend and we had a great time. The problem is that i have this other girl not a relationship material but hot as hell, so the following weekend i went to a birthday party and we end up playing around. But...some one took some pictures from the party and post them on fb with me tagged in them and almost eating this girl in one of them.
After that my nightmare started, she saw the pics, i tried to play stupid like was nothing but it was obvious. Then she says that she was feeling great but after what she saw she just doesnt trust me any more and doesnt want to be with me,. I told her that we live in different states i put the time that we cannot see eachother often and that i was just talking with this girl. That she is the only woman i want to be with etc etc...She went cold and bought a ticket to Miami with her friends and basicaly doesnt talk to me any more.
I told her to talk when she comes back but nothing. I really like this woman and i want her back....What can i do, please help....thank you

 

[mangotot]

Before checking into this thread, reading the title 'I am losing it', I thought it was about losing the will of the equipment to do its job. Thank god, for your sake, its nothing to do with that.

 

[El Suave]

DON'T get involved with single moms. You will only be used for your money. Make your own children and raise those.

 

[deepower]

Thanks for your reply. She is independent and her son has a father who is responsible. This is a quality woman that i am talking about. That is why i dont know how to play her to win her back. Moey or words don't work with her.

 

[Mr_Maximus]

Can you handle the other guy (father of her son) constantly orbiting?

It looks like she has snuffed you out as a cheater but the best way to get her back is to go no contact and let her come to you.

You have said your piece and asked her to get in touch when she returns now you can only sit tight and/or move on.

Thats my opinion.

 

[sodbuster]

Unless her husband was a drug dealing murderer, which you say he's NOT..... WHY did she Divorce him? Divorced women are usually trouble. They have NO problem doing it again, with half your stuff. No Pre-nup, no marriage to her...

I don't think she's the quality you think she is.....or she's still be married to the "decent" guy....

 

[Mr_Maximus]

If you found this quality women you can find another quality women that shows up with a clean slate.

 

[deepower]

When we first met 10 years ago she was getting divorce, basicaly they just got married because she was pregnant. She is a strong woman and intelligent. And i havent met any woman to have children with. Im getting old. Like she is the perfect mother for my kids. I dont know man i ****ed up.
I think that i will wait i did say to much to soon too...

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Thanks for your reply. She is independent and her son has a father who is responsible. This is a quality woman that i am talking about. That is why i dont know how to play her to win her back. Moey or words don't work with her.

Forget about whether or not to date single moms.

You had a girl you thought was a quality woman, and she has photo evidence of you cheating on her.

Kind of hard to get ANY girl back under those situations. Especially when you use words like "play her" when trying to get her back.

You messed up. You lost her. If you CAN get her back, it's going to take a long, long time, and even then she likely won't ever trust you fully again.

Some things just can't be fixed.

Realize your mistake and move on.

 

[hithard]

Problem is you have set the tone. Yes you can get her back but this is now a reference point stored in her mind. Never pose for photos (as funny as it is)if there is a chance of blowback.

 

[RangerMIke]

Okay... you made a mistake early on. You assumed that she is different because she is a mom. She's not... all women are the same. They want fun... you were thinking relationship. She doesn't trust you anymore because you were selling yourself as a 'relationship' guy... and you actions told her differently.

Truth is she likely would have dumped you anyway, you just gave her an excuse to do it making you look like the A-hole.

 

[deepower]

RangerMike..right on the wound. But it must be a way to turn things around...ok i will have to wait. She doesn't go out that much, now she is pissed off and went to miami with her friends, i understant. But we will probably be even after that. And i can use the excuse that when i move to her state we can start all over again etc
She didnt answer my last two text that i told her that when she is back from her trip we could talk. But when we were together it was great she was all into me, i was a king with her. Must be a way

 

[RangerMIke]

Okay... stop texting her. In fact, I suggest you stop texting her altogether. You have let her reach out to you.

You are going to have to shake things up a bit. Start calling her if you have been texting her calling her is a change up. My advice is to turn the tables on her. You should be just as ticked with her show a little anger... be a little different. she has no right to be ticked with you for seeing other women if you are not exclusive. Truth is this NORMALLY makes you more attractive to women....but this one is looking for reasons to be upset.

If she really thinks you are the sh1t then she will contact you. If she does not, no amount of effort on your part will matter.

 

[deepower]

That's a good one thanks man!. Also i must find a reason to see her so we argue close to my bed. Things always get smooth that way.
She's slippery...and the thrill of the hunt is hunting me...make up sex is the best. And she is fire man.

 

[Atom Smasher]

It seems that everybody missed it:

"She likes me a lot and she said that she wasnt really looking for that but it will be ideal for her."

A man shouldn't even consider commitment unless she's head over heels in love with him. "Likes me a lot" is not a good enough reason.

"It will be ideal for her"... Time to wake up and smell the coffee. She was thinking mostly in practical terms and was already totally on the fence about you. "Quality woman" my ass.

This is the best thing that could have happened, although you made a colossal error in acting the way you did in public with cameras around.

You unwittingly dodged a bullet. I think you should seriously reconsider even trying to get her back.

 

[deepower]

Right, the only problem is that i started talking about marriage and kids from the first day that we saw eachother after those years. Like i know what i want and you know what you want and what we can do about it. Love comes during and after. We didnt see each other for a long time.I just didnt want to waste my time if she wasn't in the same page. Hard to explain but sometimes we experience certain type of connection with some people and we know if things could or not work.
Any way thanks man. Im not trying to look for an excuse to make it less painful for me. I know what i did.

 

[VladPatton]

Never add chicks to Facebook, man. Keep your private life private.

 

[Moroder]

Don't even be on FB.