"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

I'm leaving SoSuave. I learned a little bit.

thewarrior

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
177
Reaction score
2
I learned what to do and what not to do, but I don't have any interest in applying it to real life situations. I don't feel bad that I haven't had sex in over a year. I would feel bad if I tried to have sex but was shot down repeatedly, but I haven't even tried to get any. But sex isn't that important to me. I was born alone in the world and I should expect to die alone. As an older person told me, life isn't fair and as soon as you realize that, the easier life will be for you.

I have accepted my weight. I was thin all my life. With my digestive illness and lack of desire to eat six meals a day and hit the gym, I will always be thin. If women think thin men are ugly or a turn off, I don't care anymore. I'm healthy like everyone else. There's nothing a heavier man can do that I can't do except maybe he can lift more weights.

I will not settle for a really ugly woman or an obese woman. If I can't meet a girl that's attractive to me physically and mentally, then I will stay single and abstinate for the rest of my life. The hardest part will be the constant prying into my private from people around me... I know it will get worse when I get in my thirties. "Oh, you're not married?".

I have no interest in clubs or bars. The whole idea of going somewhere where there's a whole bunch of dudes and a select number of females and all the dudes are hitting on women that are probably there just for validation seems incredibly stupid. It also seems incredibly stupid to buy a woman a drink. Years ago, I would've bought a woman an island if I had the money, but why should I spend money on a female that I just met? I don't agree with a man paying for a first date either.

I just started a new a job. I'm focusing on becoming an employee since I'm just a contractor right now. So I have to spend the next few months proving myself and giving 110%.

If anyone lives in Philadelphia, near Philadelphia, or used to live here... what can I do that doesn't involve clubs and bars where I can meet other people and won't cost me a lot of money? I would like to have some activity to look forward to on my time off but don't want to spend lots of money. It has to be an activity that attracts singles, not families, and an activity that has time for people to mingle and talk. Thanks!
 
Last edited:

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

comic_relief

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 29, 2004
Messages
3,282
Reaction score
49
Location
Baltimore, MD
thewarrior said:
If anyone lives in Philadelphia, near Philadelphia, or used to live here... what can I do that doesn't involve clubs and bars where I can meet other people and won't cost me a lot of money? I would like to have some activity to look forward to on my time off but don't want to spend lots of money. It has to be an activity that attracts singles, not families, and an activity that has time for people to mingle and talk. Thanks!
Have fun!

Also to meet singles, get friends from college. They will introduce you to singles especially if you live in Philly.

I live in Lancaster, PA btw :yes:
 

thewarrior

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
177
Reaction score
2
How many of you guys are successful with women outside of going to parties, clubs, and bars?

I have a theory that if a man isn't a partier, club goer, or bar hopper...the chances of hooking up or meeting a girl drops dramatically.

True?
 

amoka

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
1,931
Reaction score
62
True but not entirely true... going clubbing and bars enhances your chance of meeting women but not going does not "dramatically drop" your chances of meeting women. Women are everywhere: grocery shops, streets, malls, gym, etc. So keep on sarging.
 

Desert Fox

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 16, 2008
Messages
786
Reaction score
22
warrior, I agree with everything you said and I'm the same way. I'm not as old as you, but I just find the whole looking for women in clubs/bars pointless, ridiculous, boring, overrated, etc.

I'd rather read about some interesting stuff or spend extra time at work. I enjoy my work and all. I also don't want to settle and if I don't meet anyone up to my standards I'll just die alone, I don't care.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

comic_relief

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 29, 2004
Messages
3,282
Reaction score
49
Location
Baltimore, MD
I don't go partying or bar hopping or anything like that (often and usually it was with my ex-gf when I did go). I usually meet girls through mutual friends.

The DJ's must go to clubs is bullsh!t. Women are only a biproduct of living a successful life.

The point of this website is to make you the type of person that women WANT to be seen with.

comic_relief
 

Kevin Feng

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 6, 2008
Messages
258
Reaction score
5
Hey buddy,

that's totally acceptable, I can totally understand your situation, but here's the thing though, you don't need to go to bars or night clubs to get women.

I mean, granted, I'm in LA, but in my daily excursions I come across at least 3-4 attractive women, this is just in my daily excursions, not even going out of my way.

I Understand that you need to focus on your career, but there is no need to ditch pick up in the process.

Scale back, but don't elmiinate it entirely, you'll regret it, I guarantee it.
 
Joined
Oct 22, 2008
Messages
332
Reaction score
19
Your are either giving up on women....... or are bored about finding good women. Live your life, focus on what you believe in, women are everywhere but dont lie to yourself..... your weight isnt an issue, its your state of mind. Maybe your scared of succeeding in night game...
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

Frog X

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2009
Messages
49
Reaction score
2
Dude it sounds like youve just become very bitter? I really think that people that don't enjoy clubs have something wrong with them, and don't come from the point of view you have, as if your 'above' clubs or something. YOU have to make it fun man, of course its not going to be fun if you just sit their staring at everyone.

Say hello to people with a smile. Their response will AMAZE you.
 
Joined
Dec 6, 2008
Messages
127
Reaction score
3
I agree with thewarrior, and just to comment i dont go to clubs often, I meet majority of girls just having a conversation with them walking down the street, or at a conference or something , those t me ar eht e best ones, i havent mastered the club scene yet
 

xdreamz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 24, 2006
Messages
545
Reaction score
10
my friend has massive success going up on chatrooms. my other friend has a steady supply from friends. in the clubs and bars they're fun because they want to go meet someone new. sarging on the streets, malls takes a little bit of skill.. find a friend that does it, learn from them. sometimes it will take a little practice. most the time it will take balls. to meet a woman of your dreams is your destiny. live it. love it. this is pick-up.
 

Galloway

New Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2008
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
I can understand where you are coming from.

I enjoy my life where I am now. I have a lot of nerdy hobbies, friends I don't want to give up no girlfriend, no FB's just some girls who are interested but I am not. To me this PUA/DJ thing started to feel more like an obligation. It was more like a thing I HAD to enjoy but not one I was allowed to enjoy on my own terms. More like a religious or sect-like dogma. I don't like clubs very much but I have been there plenty (Washington DC, New York, Bologna (just recently), Spain and other countries in Europe, you name it). I tried to find enjoyment but I just did not find anything more enjoyfull than an hour of heavy work out. You don't really enjoy it but you are glad when its over. It never got beyond this point personally.

I quit the whole scene after I got involved in a lair and realized that my live got worse over time. I wasn't happy anymore. I just felt pressured to sarge and make lays after I got involved in the whole PUA scene. To me it was one of the worst stages in my live. I feel happy whether I am asexual, AFC, hopeless romantic, or any other stereotype in the community. I do my own thing know. I have learned many interesting things but I am not willing to go on this road ever again.

Women are still part of my life but only on my terms (can they make me fall in love with them) and only if I enjoy their company. I am not willing to conform to any dogmas anymore. What I should do I decide for myself and I bear the consequences. I am satisfied with little and don't want to depend on women, sex or other men's (especially PUA's) appreciation. I know that being content with what one has is unpopular because more money is earned with desperation.
 

thewarrior

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
177
Reaction score
2
I am leaving this site for good but I just want to follow up with one comment. How come I fail at getting eye contact from girls in everyday situations like grocery shopping or walking down the street? I don't think I'm ugly and I have a confident body posture but I still say my thin-ness is a turn off. If a girl saw me without a shirt, they wouldn't say I'm a skinny geek. I have a body like Bruce Lee (not exactly like his of course, he was a mad man when it came to physical fitness). I have very little fat, thin waist, but muscular frame. I wear clothes that compliment my slimness (I used to wear clothes that were too big and I felt like I was swimming in fabric).

Girls walk past me and seem to purposely look the other way or down at their cell phone. I try to have a pleasant expression on my face, and if we did make eye contact I would smile and say something. And then the females that are cashiers seem to be very moody and not even smile when scanning my items. Women at my work that are over 50 seem to be very friendly, but if a hot chick that's in her 20's gets on the elevator with me, I feel nothing but coldness from her.

That's my life. Any female in my age range seems to think I'm invisible or they treat me coldly. So I am bitter and I don't care to even try anymore since I can't even get some eye contact and a smile from ONE chick my age.

I think that I'm cursed when it comes to female. Maybe I offended some ugly chick in high school and she put a curse on me or something.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Joined
May 11, 2009
Messages
12
Reaction score
0
I relate, but I am more fat than skinny, and haven't sex or any other kind of activities, in over 3 years now. It's killing me. I can't get over this. I mean, I really have a hard time finding the will or energy to go out to bar's and stuff and be more social as I would like to be. Money is a factor too, as in I spend too much too quick. I would like to meet someone, get married, have kids all that, but after reading this, http://www.nomarriage.com/ , it makes me even more unsure. I am cofused, what should I be doing? Trying to bang all the chicks I can, or looking for someone special? I have had very little success in both of those departments as is. I mean, it seems unless you have a certain life, is the only way it's gonna work. Things like lots money, the "right" clothes, a certain attitude demeanor,etc, that these *****es will even do anything.
 

DonJuan11

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2007
Messages
1,667
Reaction score
35
thewarrior said:
- I haven't had sex in over a year.
- I should expect to die alone.
- life isn't fair
- If women think thin men are ugly or a turn off, I don't care anymore.
- I will not settle for a really ugly woman or an obese woman.
- I have no interest in clubs or bars.
- It also seems incredibly stupid to buy a woman a drink.
- I don't agree with a man paying for a first date either.
Can't imagine why any girl hasn't sexed you up in over 12 months.
 

thewarrior

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
177
Reaction score
2
DonJuan11 said:
Can't imagine why any girl hasn't sexed you up in over 12 months.
Do the ol' pick a part a person's post and come to a conclusion, eh?
 

Rhoto

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
782
Reaction score
18
Location
San Francisco
thewarrior said:
Do the ol' pick a part a person's post and come to a conclusion, eh?
Then why are you posting? Are you an attention wh0re who needs validation?

Or just an overly negative person whose self-perpetuating misery seems warp your view of life?

Both it seems.

Get over your short comings and sack up.

"I was born alone" - what you're a test tube baby?
 

DonJuan11

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2007
Messages
1,667
Reaction score
35
thewarrior said:
Do the ol' pick a part a person's post and come to a conclusion, eh?
Your "all about me" attitude will turn off any women faster than you can imagine. Guys get so confused about this, they keep coming here with their issues, their problems, their complaints.

Look at the problem from the girls point of view. What does she get out of it to be with you? To sleep with you? To give you the best sex ever? Does she get a guy who complains all the time and doesnt' like himself and has no friends? Or does she get a guy who's rich, ambitious, in shape, and knows half the city, and can be the father of her kids? She's not going to give up the goods unless she gets something in return, be it a drink at the bar or a lifetime of security.

Life is a negotiation and you don't what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Top