I'm just not happy with myself, and it affects school, women, and friends.

[apocalypse later]

I think I'm doing everything right. I'm a freshman in a pretty good university, and I worked a lot in high school to get here. I make all my classes, worked hard and got a 3.4 GPA first semester (well, honestly, I could've done better, but that' my goal for second semester is to do even better). I lift weights after classes, get homework done, then hang out with my friends, my girlfriend, or do whatever obligations I have to do. Sometimes I just make some relaxing time for myself. I play tennis and soccer to stay in shape. I'm constantly reading--trying to make myself more intelligent, open-minded, and understanding. I try to be as sociable as possible--I go out on weekends and party, I have a fake to get into the bars, and while I never get out of control I still have a lot of fun.

Yet I'm just not happy and I have no idea why. I have a bright future, I'm in a pretty decent relationship, and I'm constantly improving myself.

It just reminded me so much of this post:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=135977

Thing is, it's quite the opposite. I'm doing pretty well with women (well, I was until I got into a relationship, which I definitely did want--it's with a rather wonderful girl who is intelligent and beautiful) and I'm not feeling good about myself.

How do I make myself be happy? These little boosts of happiness I get from gains in the weight room, drunken debauchery, and BJs from my girlfriend just don't do it for me.

 

[romangod]

How do I make myself be happy? These little boosts of happiness I get from gains in the weight room, drunken debauchery, and BJs from my girlfriend just don't do it for me.


Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy and remember that "fun" does not mean "hapiness". Fun is only of the moment. Happiness takes more work. Good luck.

 

[Interceptor]

Somehow your childhood affected your perspective.
Something in your experience as a young boy leads you to feel unfulfilled.

I'm wondering if you come from a very well to do family?
Have you been given things on a silver platter all your life? Thus, you do not APPRECIATE it anymore?
Maybe your life is so easy , you never had to really work for anything?

Are you going after YOUR own dreams and goals, or someone else's?

What do you feel you DESERVE?

And what if I told you the World, God, and the Universe does not OWE you anything?

Do you have a strong sense of entitlement?
Meaning, do you feel like you're not getting the best of everything form people , place, or environments? And you 'deseve' more?
What NEEDs are NOT being FULFILED here?
Do you feel that you have a Purpose in this Life?
Does your Life have meaning?
DO you do the things in life that really improve and add, and ENHANCE you Life?
Or are you spinnin your wheels? Sleepwalking through life.

What are YOU Passionate about ?



What do YOU need to feel Satisfied and Fulfilled?

If you coudl look from outside your self and Look at yourself from OUTSIDE, what woudl you see?
How would you feel about that young man sitting there at his computer?


Have you decide on a Personal Mission Statement?

Are you in the presence fof stong masculine Role Models?
Are you pursuing HIgh Character?

Are you working from your OWN ideas, opinions, thoughts, and preferences?
Or are you living someone else's Life?

 

[Interceptor]

How do I make myself be happy? These little boosts of happiness I get from gains in the weight room, drunken debauchery, and BJs from my girlfriend just don't do it for me.


Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy and remember that "fun" does not mean "hapiness". Fun is only of the moment. Happiness takes more work. Good luck.

Happiness IS a Choice.

Every situation or issue or dilemma must be looked upon from the perspective of:
"Who am I making Happy here? Will my DECISION make ME happy, or SOMEONE ELSE? And if it does make someone else happy, am I prepared to HANDLE THAT? Ultimately, will my decision fir in with my Ideals and MY integrity? WIll it further along my life, and bring ME happiness? Do I know what I want from this?"

Happiness is a decisin mde every day.

Bu working on smaller sacale Goals to larger scale,long term goals.

There is no other basic purpose but the seeking of Happiness.

We do it in different ways like helping people, or building and creating things, ultimately it brings us GRATIFICATION, PURPOSE and MEANING.

 

[smackler]

How's your environment?

I, who am mostly positive and friendy, and have a alright vibe, sometimes feel kind of bad when I wake up or something. For no particular reason. It happens to most of us.

But I have this friend... He's the partyraiser, always natural, and funny, the most sociable guy I ever knew. He has some kind of magical aura that means FUN! When I go near him, my moods just lightens up sky high.

So maybe you hang around with friends who are too reserved or don't socialize much. It could be that. Happines depends mostly on yourself... But we just mirror what we see.

 

[DonJuan11]

I think I'm doing everything right. I'm a freshman in a pretty good university, and I worked a lot in high school to get here. I make all my classes, worked hard and got a 3.4 GPA first semester (well, honestly, I could've done better, but that' my goal for second semester is to do even better). I lift weights after classes, get homework done, then hang out with my friends, my girlfriend, or do whatever obligations I have to do. Sometimes I just make some relaxing time for myself. I play tennis and soccer to stay in shape. I'm constantly reading--trying to make myself more intelligent, open-minded, and understanding. I try to be as sociable as possible--I go out on weekends and party, I have a fake to get into the bars, and while I never get out of control I still have a lot of fun.

Yet I'm just not happy and I have no idea why. I have a bright future, I'm in a pretty decent relationship, and I'm constantly improving myself.

I'm doing pretty well with women (well, I was until I got into a relationship, which I definitely did want--it's with a rather wonderful girl who is intelligent and beautiful) and I'm not feeling good about myself.

How do I make myself be happy? These little boosts of happiness I get from gains in the weight room, drunken debauchery, and BJs from my girlfriend just don't do it for me.

What else do you want? A toilet made out of gold? It's a good thing they didn't send you off to the Iraq War.

Shake it off kid, no one likes a whiner!

 

[Interceptor]

How's your environment?

I, who am mostly positive and friendy, and have a alright vibe, sometimes feel kind of bad when I wake up or something. For no particular reason. It happens to most of us.

But I have this friend... He's the partyraiser, always natural, and funny, the most sociable guy I ever knew. He has some kind of magical aura that means FUN! When I go near him, my moods just lightens up sky high.

So maybe you hang around with friends who are too reserved or don't socialize much. It could be that. Happines depends mostly on yourself... But we just mirror what we see.

While this is helpful to a degre in letting us see the possibilities of our emotions and expereinces, this is not healthy in the long run.

Too much REACTION to EXTERNAL Environments makes one Dependent and NEEDY.

This is to be AVOIDED.
So if you DEPEND on your OUTSIDE Environment for HAPPINESS and Good HUMOR, and GOOD MOOD, you are DOOMED to be NEEDY and PARASITIC.

 

[smackler]

Eye opener!

Uau.... You have your moments of clear prespective!

You're right! I will try to loosen up by myself more easily. I liked it! You nailed it!

I've been sort of in a depression state since the beggining of school but I've been working on it gradually and I got to say I'm much better now. I used to think like that before.

I'm going to remember this.

My new goal:

Happiness from now on will depend more on myself... I should be influencing others, not the other way around.



Thanks. I never really realised it and this slightly helped.

 

[Damocles]

Here's my take on happiness... it doesn't exist.

That's right. You'll never be "happy." We tend to equate 'happyness' with feeling great all the time... which is a lot like mania. Life has ups and downs, and for the most part, it's pretty boring. Instead of trying to be happy, just try to be content.

Yeah, you got a 3.4. Great. Yeah, you got a hot girl. Great. Yeah, you go out on the weekends, you play soccer, you have friends. All great.

So uh... enjoy the limited downtime you have, and stop caring about being happy.

I don't have the links handy, but, I read two things not too long ago that made me think... one was a study that showed that the more options people have, the less happy they tend to be... too much to choose from, so they felt a little overwhelmed by their choices.

The other one was, roughly, a study that showed that people who WANT to be happy become less happy.

So, just say **** it... that, and it's February... and winter blows goats. Give it another two months, and reassess your mood.

 

[apocalypse later]

I've had life ridiculously easy so far, you're right.

Basically, my dad owns a bunch of businesses. Money was never an issue as a kid, but I was never exactly spoiled. Sure, we had a house that was a little bigger than everyone else's, my dad owned snowmobiles and boats, and we went out to really nice dinners more than everyone else did, but I would not say I was directly spoiled. I was never allowed to have video games until I was 14, I always had to get my homework done before doing anything with friends, and I never was the kid to beg my parents to buy me stuff at the store.

Yeah, now I'm going to a pretty expensive school ($30,000 a year). But I did work to get in it (High Honors in high school, many clubs and sports, etc) My dad's taking care of it all for the cost, but I do have to earn my own cash for clothes, alcohol, movies, dinner, whatever else, so it's not like I'm a complete cake-eater. A lot of the students here will go get drunk, drop $100 at the bar, not remember any of it, and start tomorrow and do the same thing over again, and barely manage a 2.0 GPA.

I mean, sure, as a child I had my problems. I started getting acne when I was 12. That messed with my confidence a lot. My face is pretty much clear, but I'm embarassed to even think about taking off my shirt because I have acne on my chest. I've been on meds for this stuff for seven years now. It's caused me a lot of stress, and anyone who hasn't had bad acne can't relate. It's made me a lot more sensitive to people and their problems.

I'm not trying to justify myself being a spoiled child, because I realize I had it better than most kids in my town growing up. But I've had my problems and I truly do appreciate what my parents have done for me.

Any other advice? That's the main point I wanted to address, I guess.

Also, when I looked at Interceptor's questions, I really couldn't answer any of them. That's something I should work on.

 

[Interceptor]

Also, when I looked at Interceptor's questions, I really couldn't answer any of them. That's something I should work on.

This is the first step.

Know Thy Self.

Most people lack an Identity.