"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I'm insecure about my chest, but me and my girl are going to Six Flags...

Balla_Baby_69

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I have been bodybuilding for about 4 years now. I'm 18. I look good, but I have gyno in my chest. Bascially, it's breast tissue that makes it look like I have '***** tits.' I'm getting surgery to remove it (it's the only way to get rid of it. 50% of males develop it during puberty and for most people it goes away on its own and if it doesn't the only way to rid yourself of it is surgery. can't lose it by exercising or anything...).

Anyway, when I have on a shirt or a wife-beater you can't really notice it at all. And the rest of my body shows off my 4 years of work. Anyway, I'm really insecure bout my chest and haven't let anyone (except for one of my bestest friends) see me shirtless for the past 5 years, even my mom!

Anyway, I'm going to Six Flags this Monday with my girl. Just her and me. We've been dating for about 6 weeks. And she likes to swim so I'm guessing she's going to want to go into the waterpark, but she probably won't unless I do too. She knows a little bit about my chest and she said she thinks its kinda sexy that I admit it (whatever that means) and that she couldn't notice it (but she still ain't seen me shirtless)....

I was thinking that if I go swimming I could just wear a wife-beater and everything would be cool, but my friend said "you can't wear a wifebeater! only fat people wear wifebeaters to the pool!"

So, what should I do if swimming comes up at the park? Should I take my shirt off for the first time in public and possibly embarass myself? Or should I wear a wifebeater and possibly embarass myself :p. Or should I just refuse to go swimming?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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spider_007

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are you trying to tell as you got tits????

Unless they are REALLY BIG, i don't think it's a big deal. especially if you work out. I can be mistaken just as having big chest doue to working out.....

haw big are they ???
 

Balla_Baby_69

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I don't have girl boobs. I have a good chest from working out, it's just my nipples stick out extra. Maybe I can find a pic online as an example. I don't have a digital camera myself.
 

Rogerman

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Well dude, if you feel insecure then do the surgery.

But there's a no-cost solution too , just accept it :)
 

Balla_Baby_69

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Mine sticks out more than that one ^^^ cus I have more muscle underneath.

And to ROgerman, I'm getting the surgery. It's on July 7. But Six Flags is in 3 days. So, yeah, that's not even the issue.

And I'm geting the surgery because if I ever want to compete in bodybuilding, I can't have gyno....
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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jason86

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Honestly dont show it. She might act like its cool but inside she will be like 'wtf'. Do whatever you can to hide it until you get surgery. Anything you can!
 

spider_007

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I CAN'T BELIVE YOUR MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT THIS.

unless your niples are sticking out like half inch you got notting to worry about. I have a heary back, and I still get laid. Your gurl probably has something wrong with her too. chubby ties, pointy tits/flat tits................WHO GIVES A DAMN. THIS IS YOU, AND IF SHE DON'T LIKE IT, THEN F-HER. SHE IS A SHALOW BIACH AND DON'T DESERVE YOUR TIME....
 

Lost In the Seas

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dude it's only your nipples, it's not like it's as important to man as breasts and bums are to women. If she's that shallow and stupid to be turned off or not attracted to you anymre just because of some nipples, seriously she's not worth your time

and if you are really planning to get a surgery on that, dude you are plain sad
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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TedJustAdmitIt

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They stick out three inches from your chest!?!?

That's about the length of my pinky finger.....surely not!
At three inches they most definetly would be visable beneath anything but a bra!

Sure you don't mean 3 cms?

If your gf is cool then she'll be cool with it...fuk what anybody else thinks.I know that's easy for me to say but most people are gonna be too intent on enjoying themselves to be looking at your chest.
 

TedJustAdmitIt

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K...you posted pics before I hit reply:D

I still say if she's a cool person she won't care...just get your top off and try not to stress it...if you've been working out then that'll take the emphasis off of them,right?
 

Balla_Baby_69

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I mean, you can't notice them at all when I have on a shirt or a wife-beater, so it isn't that bad.

What do you think from the pics?

Oh, and I was making my guestimate from the nipple to the part underneath my cheat. And I just measured it and it's 2 inches....
 

Qmanchoo

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Ok true story. About 6 months ago I was invited to a little "hot tub" get together at a local spa and fitness club. Three guys three chicks, we were just going there to hang out a few hours after work to have a few laughs, sneak in some drinks, and relax after a stressful day. All but one of the guys arrived early so we had been chatting and bull****ting a bit before he arrived. So the guy shows up and somehow, god knows why, forgot his shorts. So we all kind of laugh and one of the guys says he has an extra pair in his bag, joking one of the girls said she had a thong and that he should try _that_ on.

Anyway, he leaves to go change and we go back to talking. 5 minutes later the guy comes back, bursts through the door, and says "So is this the suit you were talking about?" and we all proceed to stare, laugh, (and the guys gag) as we all see that he put the thong on...but he only has 1 nut so he hung his wang out one side and his one nut out the other with the strap out the middle.

A. Something that should have been a terrible insecurity he made a big joke about because he didn't give a flying ****.

B. Everyone though it was hilarious and actually couldn't help but respect that fact that he was not only NOT insecure about having one nut he didn't give a **** about what everyone thought.

C. In the end, since he doesn't have any insecurities around it he's not psychologically or emotionally hidden in any way, being completely open is extremely healthy and it shows in his personality.

D. To be quite honest I don’t really give a **** one way or the other how many nuts this guy has.

I know guys with extremely hairy asses that have good girlfriends, I know guys that aren’t well hung with girlfriends, I even knew a disabled kid in high school that scored a chick, think about the guys with terrible acne that have chicks! The guy with the hairy ass gets complaints from his GF, but he doesn’t give a **** and if she doesn’t like it she can leave. The guy that’s not well hung get criticized but her doesn’t give a **** telling her GF that if she doesn’t like it she can leave. Get it? And guess what, they are still together with the girls.

What does this tell you? These features are not all that important because deep down inside a woman wants a MAN with DRIVE and PASSION and STATUS or whatever it takes to make her FEEL for him (different for ever which). The fact that you’ve got a little chest chub isn’t going to make or break whether or not she stays with you.

If you continue to be insecure about this it’s going to come across as unattractive to her at some point, so you either have to A. Figure out a way to convince yourself it’s not a big deal, because it’s not or B. Get the surgery done so that it’s not some major insecurity that burning a hole in your head and preventing you from going to the beach.

You know what? I have stretch marks on my back from when I was a teenager, they have pretty much faded and gone now, but back then it looked like ****! I avoided pools, beaches...So one day I got fed up with it, said **** it, and went to the beach with my friends. I took my shirt off and instantly thought everyone was staring at me. But when I looked around it turns out most people didn't give two ****s and the people who did make comments just wanted to know what the **** it was and hardly gave it a second thought. The ones who did tease me for it got a big **** YOU and that was that. And it felt damn ****ing good to finally say to myself "wow, it really doesn't matter all that much"

Stop wasting your time obsessing !
 

Balla_Baby_69

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I hear ya. It's just that she knows I workout all the time and you can't tell i have gyno when I have my clothes on. And I heard someone say she described me as "good-looking and looks like he goes to the gym all the time." So I don't want whatever image she has of me to be shattered when she sees my man-boobs, you know?

AND, for the record, those of you that think I'm getting surgery just to impress some girl, it's actually because I am a bodybuilder and if I ever want to compete, I can't have gyno/man-boobs/whatever. Get me?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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italostud

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Balla: I've been in the bodybuilding scene for a while now. I'm not gonna lie to you, your gyno is pretty bad and you definitely want to get that taken out. Your gyno isn't just "puffy nipples", but you've also grown some breast tissue as well and I assume you also have a large, swollen(maybe painful) gland in there too.

Ever done any test? If not, it's not unusual for that to happen in puberty.

You're definitely at the point where surgery is about your only option. The surgery isn't that bad though(so I've heard). Just make sure you go to someone EXPERIENCED with gyno surgery. An inexperienced surgeon could butcher your chest up.

Good luck!
 

Balla_Baby_69

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I think it's gone down since that pic though. Atleast the doctor said the year after during my physical that it looked to have reduced.

I'll try to get some recent pics up this weekend....
 

Eternal

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You are worried about THAT? Dude, one of my friends has bigger tits than that! He could probably fit in a good sized bra and he works out.

It will only be a big deal to her if YOU make it a big deal, so cut the crap and stop worrying.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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