I'm in love - How do I restrain myself?

[The Decay of Meaning]

How do I contain myself? I don't want to seem like a Nice Guy, and come off as overly desperate or anything. She has such a wonderful, playful, original and weird personality. How do I play it cool even though she has impressed me so much?

I'm usually laid back and cool, but this girl is causing butterflies in my stomach.

 

[daring wraith]

How do I contain myself? I don't want to seem like a Nice Guy, and come off as overly desperate or anything. She has such a wonderful, playful, original and weird personality. How do I play it cool even though she has impressed me so much?

I'm usually laid back and cool, but this girl is causing butterflies in my stomach.

AAAWWWW!!!!!!..... How sweet....

Flowers bloom,
Love blossoms,
and the serenity of love reflects in the stream of life,

..... Anyway... enough of that... gotta save that poetic, romantic stuff for women.

First off, do her feelings mirror you're own? or is this a one sided romance?
Regarding the "butterflies".... keep them in your stomach.... just be your normal, relaxed, laid back self, talk to her normally, imply your interested, ask her out.... the normal kinds of things. When you see her next, just take a big deep breath, focus on what you want to do and then do it.

Hope this helps... and good luck, romeo.

 

[Interceptor]

By having a good life apart from her, and working on your daily goals.
Have ambition, and goals in your life, and especially hobbies.You HAVE to have a Mission plan in your life , and stick to it.
In other words, have a life outside of your relationship.


Your 'butterflies' might just be an immature reaction to those feelings you're not used to, it also is a little bit of being 'in love with love' or the feeling of love, not her necessarily. So it's not bad, but be careful of letting it override your rational thought processes,and values. (while personally I think its more acceptable for women to feel this, I dont think it helps men to go this overboard. Men have much more to lose unfortunately. As a man we kind of have to be the leader, and the compass, so it really doesnt help attraction when we lose our center and our persnal direction in life. But for women it seem to usually work out fine..In fact, I think a guy is lucky for a woman today to feel that way about her man...A lot of women think men are 'dogs and pigs'.)



She can't make or break you, and can't fix all your problems. She also is a human being, and imperfect.Dont look at her as your new 'toy'.
She's a female. And has her own beleifs and limitations, and humanity.
Later on as we mature, the way we feel our love for our partner changes, and it becomes much much deeper than 'butterflies'.
Especially when you really admire and are inspired by your GF. The 'butterflies' stage is usually infatuation, not necessarily love. Love is really going as far as taking care of her when shes sick, or protecting her, and siding with her when when one of you are forced to 'choose sides'etc etc. So stay grounded with her, look at her as a human being, not something supernatural. Keep working on your personal goals and ambitions. Keep doing your hobbies!!!
And admire her, and be appreciative you found a woman that impresses you so much.



PS You ARE in a relationship, right?
If not, you better pull the needle out right now. You may be developing Oneitis.
Be very very careful from here on out.....

 

[Mavrick]

You've found a diamond in the rough. You found someone, and you believe that you'll never meet another like her. That's a sad thought, but that's the truth. You're infatuated with a woman that you think is one in a million, and you do not want to lose her.

With that said, that causes you to become desperate and needy for her.

Change your intent and thought process, and you'll lose the neediness and desperation.

 

[Interceptor]

Yeah, what Mavrick said.
While I think it's great to find someone so special, it's important to be fulfilled enough with yourself, that you let her be 'free'. Don't try to cling to her for fear of losing such a special woman. It will drive her away...

 

[Mavrick]

Yeah, what Mavrick said.
While I think it's great to find someone so special, it's important to be fulfilled enough with yourself, that you let her be 'free'. Don't try to cling to her for fear of losing such a special woman. It will drive her away...

I agree.

I know a beautiful woman about to leave her husband because he's always worried about where she is, what she's doing, and who she's with. She tells me that she doesn't need a daddy.

DO NOT LATCH ON TO THIS WOMAN. Let her love you freely.

 

[Darth]

I agree. It's great that you've found such a good woman, but in case it doesn't work out you have to be prepared to walk away. At least in the beginning stages.

 

[K2000kidd]

I thought this site leaned mainly toward PUAs
yet no one once told him to spin paltes or bang 10 other chicks to get over his oneitis.
being a DJ to me isnt always about clubs, kino and number closing
I was a major chump before finding this place Now I sleep with one and have 4 others with 80-90% interest,
Its not about games, its more about reaching a higher level of SELF

 

[slickaz]

get ready for alot of pain when it all falls apart..

some things you can do to help that ease...

dont get too close too fast..
always put her in her place..never put her up on pedestal.
in your mind...you cant live without one person..YOU!..if she leaves..wish her good luck and bounce.

but always make sure you have a bevy of women on your phone with interest..incase things go south with her.

 

[K2000kidd]

slickas i LOVE that sig

 

[WC2]

Instead of mimicking Interceptor's post, I'll add to it (which as always was a very good post).

At a mature stage in a man's life, love is beautiful. A mature man has been through his rough patch of relationships, he knows how women work, and most importantly he doesn't feel as if he needs this woman. But he does want her.

Judging from your post, you're still in that 'little boy' stage of dating women in which you'll jump on whatever seems appealing to you. Yes you want her, but deep down you feel as if you need her.

The mature man would have already directly approached this broad and flirted with her. He would have felt out the territory and decided where to go from there. If he likes her, he will continue to spark attraction and will most likely land it. If he enjoys her company, he will keep her around. However, he WILL demand favors and perks from her. If she cannot give him these things, he will bail. This is the sign of a mature man seeking a mate who will give him as much, if not more than he will give her.

However, an immature man will beat around the bush. He'll ask himself, "should I fall in love with her?" before he's even flirted with her. He will contemplate the situation for weeks on end before even landing a kiss.

So I don't have a great answer to your problem. The only thing I can tell you is to go through the motions. It's only when you learn through experience that you'll succeed with women. Advice on these forums are only half (if that) the battle. Build yourself as an individual and shoot for winning the war.