I'm in it deep this time

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Sorry, I missed your second post before posting... but maybe my last response might open some things up.

It's a tough call.

she was obviously in denial when she left you.. now she's in acceptance and deciding where she wants to spend her final days?

Like I said, you might learn a heck of a lot and grow tremendously by being by her side.... but, only if you have feelings for her.

And for god's sake, make sure, if things go south that the baby has a family to go to.

 

[Thundernuts]

Canadian,

Ive told her as of right now i need some time, after all the ****ed up **** she said on myspace and all the lies i told her she has to understand all this is happening fast and that im gonna need some real time to think everything through.

And that's pretty much where i stand i not only have to weigh wich one is more worth it, i have to consider what my ex is going to do to herself if i abondon her, i have to think about what i would have to do with her treatment and her daughter, and i have to really consider would it be best to go back to the old problems are start fresh. Either way im not going to really enjoy the outcome because the other option will be in my mind for awhile, i have some ****ty times ahead i know this much.

As far as details, since ive come to my conclusion only myself and time are going to make the final answer you guys have helped me see the pros and cons of my decisions wich was all i really needed, the only one who can make the ultimate choice is me. Thankyou for all the post, most of them were very helpful, if anyone has anymore question send me a private message please

 

[Thundernuts]

Update

Well the new girl who i was hoping to end up with has been showing me zero interest these past two weeks. She has been going out with her friends she has flaked on me three times to see eachother again. And she actually called me last night. I was asking her a couple of questions and all her answers were i dont know...we haven't talked since thursday, but of course she was talking to this one guy she has a thing for and found out he was gonna try and play her.

You guys, when i first began talking to this girl we would stay up for hours on the phone, she would txt me a million times a day. Now its like everytime i make plans to see her something comes up for her. She's always going off and partying i feel like im such a low priority its just gotten on my nerves.

I called her up and told her I'm tired of hearing about her talking to other guys, im tired of trying to make plans and always being put aside because she is always doing something with her friends. I told her goodluck in colllege and then i hung up.

I mean, the way i look at it, this girl has told me she is falling in love with me, but all her actions are contradicting that. Did i do the right thing here? Im sure there are other ways to handle the situation but ive tried talking to her about it and the results, while positive, dont last very long.

 

[PokerStar]

Well the new girl who i was hoping to end up with has been showing me zero interest these past two weeks. She has been going out with her friends she has flaked on me three times to see eachother again. And she actually called me last night. I was asking her a couple of questions and all her answers were i dont know...we haven't talked since thursday, but of course she was talking to this one guy she has a thing for and found out he was gonna try and play her.

You guys, when i first began talking to this girl we would stay up for hours on the phone, she would txt me a million times a day. Now its like everytime i make plans to see her something comes up for her. She's always going off and partying i feel like im such a low priority its just gotten on my nerves.

I called her up and told her I'm tired of hearing about her talking to other guys, im tired of trying to make plans and always being put aside because she is always doing something with her friends. I told her goodluck in colllege and then i hung up.

I mean, the way i look at it, this girl has told me she is falling in love with me, but all her actions are contradicting that. Did i do the right thing here? Im sure there are other ways to handle the situation but ive tried talking to her about it and the results, while positive, dont last very long.

its been said before. women will always say one thing then do another.

its always their actions that define them.

Now you know not to talk for 3 hours on the phone, now you know not to text a million times with the next one. why? because it takes away from the mystery man that you are.

Move on, there are a hundreds of other chicks out there.

trust me, there are.

 

[Kailex]

To new girl, you are an ORBITER.
Let me break it down for you.

Well the new girl who i was hoping to end up with has been showing me zero interest these past two weeks. She has been going out with her friends she has flaked on me three times to see eachother again.

It should have stopped at TIME #2.
Sorry, but if a woman prefers hanging out with her friends to YOU, a guy she is supposed to be interested in... TWO times should be more than enough to show you that she is NOT interested in you.

And she actually called me last night. I was asking her a couple of questions and all her answers were i dont know...we haven't talked since thursday, but of course she was talking to this one guy she has a thing for and found out he was gonna try and play her.

She called you last night, because you're an orbiter. You're the guy she talks to about other guys. You're the "nice guy" in her life. You're the beta to her. Come on man, how are you going to sit there and listen to her about some other guy???

You guys, when i first began talking to this girl we would stay up for hours on the phone, she would txt me a million times a day.

Then you Friendzoned yourself.
You made yourself available to her 100%, eliminated any mystery from your life, and now she's realized, she can search for better while she strings you along. You're her Plan Z, and it will always be that way until she runs out of options.

Now its like everytime i make plans to see her something comes up for her.

Because Plans A through Y are available to her. You won't see her until all of those options are eliminated. You're an orbiter, you're the satellite guy in her life.

She's always going off and partying i feel like im such a low priority its just gotten on my nerves.

Don't confuse being a low priority with being a priority.
Right now, you are NOT a priority, you're an after thought to her.

I called her up and told her I'm tired of hearing about her talking to other guys, im tired of trying to make plans and always being put aside because she is always doing something with her friends. I told her goodluck in colllege and then i hung up.

Well, finally, an ounce of testicular fortitude... but to be honest, she probably won't even know why you said all of these things. She'll play it off as you being mean to her for no reason. But, whatever, right? As long as you got that off your chest and you STOP being an orbiter...

I mean, the way i look at it, this girl has told me she is falling in love with me, but all her actions are contradicting that. Did i do the right thing here? Im sure there are other ways to handle the situation but ive tried talking to her about it and the results, while positive, dont last very long.

Next time:

- Don't spend hours talking on the phone
- Don't text back and forth all day
- Don't be available all the time
- Don't try to get her to see you endlessly, or in this case, 3 times
- DO man up and take the lead
- DO realize that you should read actions over words
- DO follow the two strike rule

She played you man but you at least woke up in time. There are guys who will fall for this type of game for YEARS and not know what is going on. At least you are all the wiser now for going through this. Don't let it happen again.

 

[Thundernuts]

Pokerstar, Kailex, thanks alot to the both of you, this is really the reinforcement i needed. I didn't want to call it off with her but im not gonna get strung along again. And while i admit i was exagerating about the million times txting thing your right nonetheless.

I've deactivated my accounts on okcupid and pof, there is no point in me trying to date right now it all just ends up the same everytime.

Thanks alot guys, most of the advice was helpful ill be sure to follow it more strictly