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I'm having trouble understanding how the idea of "not explaining yourself to anybody" works in reality.

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Don Juan
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My brother in Christ, have you worked at a construction sight or warehouse?

Trust me, I WANT to live my life with the maxim "You don't have to explain yourself to anybody." But unless you're trained in every possible aspect of self-defense, it's not feasible.

Because some of these "people," when denied the explanation they think they're entitled to, go completely ape.

Then what do you do after? Get the police so they can make up an excuse to throw the case away because "you started it" by refusing to cater to people?

What am I missing?
 

mrgoodstuff

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My brother in Christ, have you worked at a construction sight or warehouse?

Trust me, I WANT to live my life with the maxim "You don't have to explain yourself to anybody." But unless you're trained in every possible aspect of self-defense, it's not feasible.

Because some of these "people," when denied the explanation they think they're entitled to, go completely ape.

Then what do you do after? Get the police so they can make up an excuse to throw the case away because "you started it" by refusing to cater to people?

What am I missing?
Explanation they are entitled for what? For what the **** you are doing?
 

Atom Smasher

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I don’t get it… who is it that goes “ape” when you don’t provide an explanation?
You must be projecting weakness to the outside world. A man who projects a strong frame is rarely asked to qualify himself.
 

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Don Juan
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I don’t get it… who is it that goes “ape” when you don’t provide an explanation?
You must be projecting weakness to the outside world. A man who projects a strong frame is rarely asked to qualify himself.
And when I project confidence, I'm in even more danger. So which is it, do I die immediately or eventually? LMAO
 

mrgoodstuff

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Other men who seem to start frothing at the mouth whenever they see another man not acting EXACTLY how they want him to.

Pecking order, "tribe politics" and what not I suppose.
That bullsh1t. Alot of folks have bad habits of downgrading people who are .ore capable than themselves. Jealous spiteful fools
 

firstbornunicorn

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The "lower down" you are at work the less you can do this. You'll be eaten alive. Your job is to literally explain everything you do & follow orders.
 

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Don Juan
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The "lower down" you are at work the less you can do this. You'll be eaten alive. Your job is to literally explain everything you do & follow orders.
"Eaten alive" by coworkers of equal position to myself?

Because there are people who say you don't have to answer to people who aren't above you.. to which I again wonder how that works for someone who hasn't trained to use his fists.
 

Black Widow Void

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I think that I understand what you're saying. I'll share my take on their mentality. Although I'm sharing situations that I've experienced, it may be something to which you and/or other members can relate.

When I go to a club or party, it's almost a given that I'm going to be a magnet for the 'swaggering' type. The reason (I believe, though not certain) is because I've (unintentionally and inadvertently) shattered their self-illusion. In other words, they base their own self-worth based upon the observations of others.

Here's an example; if a guy (at a bar, party, etc...) has designs on a gal but loses her to someone far better looking, the losing dude may not like it, but he normally accepts it. However, if the same guy loses a gal to someone like me, it seems to really eat at them. I freely admit that I'm not going to be the best looking dude in a social situation. I'm okay with that.

I've never outwardly asked, but here's my theory. They probably look at me and think... this dude looks like he's three weeks overdue for a haircut, he's 5'9, he smokes cigarettes, etc... They probably think to themselves...I'm taller, better looking, I workout, I have tattoos, I've got a new haircut, I wear trendy clothes,etc.. ... and they likely think to themselves that " this isn't right." Consequently, the swaggering and attempted c0ck-blocking starts to occur. And for the record, I'm not implying that I pull in 9's or 10's. On the average, I tend to attract 7's or 8's

This sort of behavior was also common on this forum. Lately, it's not been as bad, but occasionally we'll still see some 'chest-thumping' occur. Similar to the workplace, some of us are happy to see a co-worker doing well.. while others may be filled with jealousy.
 

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Don Juan
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I think that I understand what you're saying. I'll share my take on their mentality. Although I'm sharing situations that I've experienced, it may be something to which you and/or other members can relate.

When I go to a club or party, it's almost a given that I'm going to be a magnet for the 'swaggering' type. The reason (I believe, though not certain) is because I've (unintentionally and inadvertently) shattered their self-illusion. In other words, they base their own self-worth based upon the observations of others.

Here's an example; if a guy (at a bar, party, etc...) has designs on a gal but loses her to someone far better looking, the losing dude may not like it, but he normally accepts it. However, if the same guy loses a gal to someone like me, it seems to really eat at them. I freely admit that I'm not going to be the best looking dude in a social situation. I'm okay with that.

I've never outwardly asked, but here's my theory. They probably look at me and think... this dude looks like he's three weeks overdue for a haircut, he's 5'9, he smokes cigarettes, etc... They probably think to themselves...I'm taller, better looking, I workout, I have tattoos, I've got a new haircut, I wear trendy clothes,etc.. ... and they likely think to themselves that " this isn't right." Consequently, the swaggering and attempted c0ck-blocking starts to occur. And for the record, I'm not implying that I pull in 9's or 10's. On the average, I tend to attract 7's or 8's

This sort of behavior was also common on this forum. Lately, it's not been as bad, but occasionally we'll still see some 'chest-thumping' occur. Similar to the workplace, some of us are happy to see a co-worker doing well.. while others may be filled with jealousy.
What do I do about it? I have no intention of going my entire life just accepting that I need to walk on eggshells because x y and z.
 

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Black Widow Void

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What do I do about it? I have no intention of going my entire life just accepting that I need to walk on eggshells because x y and z.
I respect that attitude. There's a lot of truth to the old saying "A hero dies once. A coward dies a thousand times."

Here's some background on the type that your dealing with. They do not believe in themselves. If they actually did, they wouldn't be measuring their own self-worth compared yours. Your success is a threat to them. They will not feel adequate, unless they can feel as if they've 'upped' you in some fashion.

My approach is direct, yet humorous. Always in ear shot of others, I'll say something like... "man, you sure are vying for my attention. All these pretty women around here and you're placing your focus on me?"

I'm a bit older and if I think the women have watched this show, I once or maybe twice have said (also in a humorous tone) "Well, to quote Seinfeld... "*Not* that there's anything wrong it" (and then I pause) but I've noticed that you seem to be following me around and paying me lots of attention."

Obviously, this isn't "fighting fire with water" ... but these types are usually simpletons and lack the ability for good come-back wit. At this point, they aren't happy, but to avoid future humiliation, they'll go elsewhere.

One night after having several drinks, I said in a laughing tone (again, while I had an audience). I looked at him and said "heel!"

I'm lucky that I haven't had my tires flattened or been sucker punched. But, I'd rather take that chance, than to feel 'owned' by anyone.
 

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Don Juan
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I respect that attitude. There's a lot of truth to the old saying "A hero dies once. A coward dies a thousand times."

Here's some background on the type that your dealing with. They do not believe in themselves. If they actually did, they wouldn't be measuring their own self-worth compared yours. Your success is a threat to them. They will not feel adequate, unless they can feel as if they've 'upped' you in some fashion.

My approach is direct, yet humorous. Always in ear shot of others, I'll say something like... "man, you sure are vying for my attention. All these pretty women around here and you're placing your focus on me?"

I'm a bit older and if I think the women have watched this show, I once or maybe twice have said (also in a humorous tone) "Well, to quote Seinfeld... "*Not* that there's anything wrong it" (and then I pause) but I've noticed that you seem to be following me around and paying me lots of attention."

Obviously, this isn't "fighting fire with water" ... but these types are usually simpletons and lack the ability for good come-back wit. At this point, they aren't happy, but to avoid future humiliation, they'll go elsewhere.

One night after having several drinks, I said in a laughing tone (again, while I had an audience). I looked at him and said "heel!"

I'm lucky that I haven't had my tires flattened or been sucker punched. But, I'd rather take that chance, than to feel 'owned' by anyone.
Idk man. Using humor feels like submission.
 

Black Widow Void

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Idk man. Using humor feels like submission.
It’s all about how you carry yourself. If you think it feels like submission, then you would probably come across as being submissive. This requires proper voice tonality and a little c0ckiness to be effective.

My goal has always been to get rid of the leeches and enjoy myself around cool people and pretty girls when ever possible.

The humorous approach leaves your audience ((which hopefully includes women) laughing with you and at the offender.

If you come across reacting all tough, then you appear no differently than the offender; which is insecure. It’s best to avoid that image and play it off at their expense.

If you have another proven method, I’m always open to new ideas. I don’t claim to have all the answers. I enjoy sharing things that have worked for me and hopefully will for others… but I’m always open to new perspectives.
 

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Don Juan
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It’s all about how you carry yourself. If you think it feels like submission, then you would probably come across as being submissive. This requires proper voice tonality and a little c0ckiness to be effective.

My goal has always been to get rid of the leeches and enjoy myself around cool people and pretty girls when ever possible.

The humorous approach leaves your audience ((which hopefully includes women) laughing with you and at the offender.

If you come across reacting all tough, then you appear no differently than the offender; which is insecure. It’s best to avoid that image and play it off at their expense.

If you have another proven method, I’m always open to new ideas. I don’t claim to have all the answers. I enjoy sharing things that have worked for me and hopefully will for others… but I’m always open to new perspectives.
You're losing me with how the opinions of onlookers factor into it.

My goal in discussions is to shut the other person up, not make myself look better to a bunch of ****s.

If in the process of standing up for myself I lose some of your precious "status," all it means is that they'll expect less of me.. which is a positive.
 
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