I'm good, but I SUCK!

[WhitePimp]

I need to vent something out here, maybe you guys have dealt with something similar.

I'm good with girls. I flirt with all of them, old, young, dyke, and straight. It's fun for me, I guess I'm a male AW, but it's all a farce. Inside I'm extremely shy. I'm very attractive, very nice body/face, and I'm rather confident in myself due to how I pulled out of nerddom and really made some life changes. But I'm hitting this brick wall and I cannot figure it out.

I'm well aware of how to get a girl. The problem is, I always seem to lose the ones I REALLY want. Every girl I've truly desired I fvck up with. I'm guessing it's coming down to overthinking and lack of options. It seems like the ones I really like I can never CONNECT with. There's the interest, but then I go out and that's that. Interest is gone. I don't know how to connect with a woman. I can do a casual thing and be completely fine and disinterested, but the second I actually like a girl, I overthink and fvck it up.

Basically, I have no idea how to connect with people. I almost feel like I use people for awhile, then discard them when they no longer fulfill a purpose. I've lost some great people/opportunities this way. I have no REAL friends. I'm a huge loner but often desire some other presence in my life. I need to fix this before it really starts messing me up...anybody else go through this?

 

[oakraiderz2]

I need to vent something out here, maybe you guys have dealt with something similar.

Inside I'm extremely shy.

I'm sure there are other things inside that need to be fixed as well. Learn how to talk to people, all that social vibing stuff.

 

[floydtheater07]

I have the same problem, although to a smaller degree. There are very few people with whom I connect on a level that interests me. As a result, I don't keep many friends and get bored with girlfriends easy. Man, I've still got feelings for one girl that I dated three years ago because she was one of the few people that I truly felt interested in.


So, yeah, my reply is irrelevant because I don't know the solution to the problem. I will say that you should not settle. When you do find those people who keep your interest, try to keep them in your life.

 

[Freeman]

your goal shouldnt be to connect with people but to find out why you dont connect with the general public-just to let you know the general public are dumb. So dont feel bad that you dont connect with most-thats a good thing-if you did that would just mean that you are a "tool". Being who you are will attract people who you want to be around typically...

 

[Frenchconnection]

I geez if I had a penny for every similar situation I'd be rich!

It's always the girls that you want that don't want you and the ones you don't want that wants you!

:cuss:

 

[Mace]

Hey,
I am in a similar situation. But I was always relativly outgoing, but got bullied at school and so was relativly isolated.
So after school I could finally change my life and be the way i also was or wanted to be. I had very few close friends.
Right now I am a very outgoing guy and I know a lot of people but I still got very few true friends. David Gemmell once said that a man could be very happy if he would find one or two real friends in his whole life.
I think if you once were very shy, got bullied or things like that it changes you. You have seen the negative side of the social life. And I think that changes your vibe. I am not talking about good and bad, but if you made those experiences on the one side you crawl for friends and a lot of people around you. But on the other side you know that most of those aquaintances are just superficial. True connection on a deep level is very rare. The key is being truly happy with yourself. We all need friends, it is just human. And few people can say that they are. It is a permanent struggle, at least for me
And I know a lot of the "popular" people with a lot of friends. And gues what, most of them dont even have 1 or 2 REAL friends. And they feel lonely.
First when you are happy with yourself und truly respect you for what you are, you can truly connect with other people.

For example, if you like playing the "evil" video games you will find it easier to connect with someone who likes them too instead of some popular guy who hates them. You can pretend to him that you dont like them too, but that is denying who you are. And you cant truly connect with acting.

Just my 2 cents

 

[Dannyrt34]

I'm guessing it's coming down to overthinking and lack of options.

Having options helps a great deal. Think about it, when you're just dating one girl that you really want. It puts alot of pressure on you to do well with her. Throw another cute girl into the picture and it immediately makes things much easier. You feel more like "it don't really matter what happens with her, if it don't go well i'll just go out with one of the other girls.". This is a mindset that makes everything alot easier.

It took me a while to figure that out. Like you, I don't have alot of friends. But the friends that I do have we are extremely close.

 

[DanelMadr]

It's inner-wussy coming out, man. I think nature make it that way so the girls can always get someone with better genes than they have. They are attracted to those who dont like them that much.
Poor HB10s. Maybe thats why they get married when their beaty fades away.
Im talking about falling in love. They can still use some rich guy for expenses or some stud for sex. But it is not attraction. They are attracted to those who are not attracted to them. Once they think they have you...bye bye wussy.

It is sad and worrying but I really believe it is true. Men are doomed to marry down if they want love.

 

[Obsidian]

your goal shouldnt be to connect with people but to find out why you dont connect with the general public-just to let you know the general public are dumb. So dont feel bad that you dont connect with most-thats a good thing-if you did that would just mean that you are a "tool". Being who you are will attract people who you want to be around typically...