I'm going to start thinking myself as the ultimate prize in dating

[bigdave17]

Mate, this sounds almost like something of a moment of clarity/realisation. I wasn't expecting it and I'm pleased to see it.

The effort is one thing, the only thing you have left now is to learn to compromise sometimes. I think that's going to be the hardest thing for you.

I think next time a 22 year old cute bartender who smokes pot hits on you, you should just f***ing go for it. Ditch thinking about yourself and just give someone imperfect a try. You might be very pleasantly surprised and realise in a few years that actually what you thought you wanted wasn't what you wanted.

really?

Even though I am mr super disciplined, straight edge, successful, etc...

I always thought of myself as marrying like a very good, smart and sexy school teacher type, an italian or greek babe with beautiful black hair and olive complexion

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

absolutely true, what you said here is common sense

the problem is I've killed myself in the past because of 3 reasons

1)not approaching the women I really want because of defeatist attitude (which is no more now, I'm going to destroy that)
2)approaching the women I wanted but coming across as desperate (which is also no more now, I've already destroyed that)
3)approaching the women I wanted but not doing it with complete self trust

If I approached the women I wanted and did it with a lot of confidence and still had horrible results, you would have a point but that won't happen. I've just started to approach women recently with some confidence and my results are already very strong. Both the cute 22 year old bartender and the friend of a friend liked me quite a bit.

I have to face reality - what I want is a very very small percentage of women - somebody who is very strong in all 5 or 6 main areas is difficult to find. Furthermore, they're going to have astronomical standards because they get hit on so much. I have to be willing to approach the women I want with some level of persistence and not care if I get rejected.

Bottom line: I haven't gotten the results I deserve because of lack of effort and a poor attitude. I've fixed the attitude somewhat but the effort thing is where I really need to focus

Dude, stop with the self-deluding mental gymnastics.

You can't get what you want because nobody that has what you want thinks what you have to offer in exchange is a fair trade.

The ONLY PATH to get what you want is RELENTLESSLY APPROACH and open any girl you think MIGHT have you want.

Everything that is NOT THAT is a self-deluded excuse because you are TOO SCARED to do what needs to be done.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

really?

Even though I am mr super disciplined, straight edge, successful, etc...

I always thought of myself as marrying like a very good, smart and sexy school teacher type, an italian or greek babe with beautiful black hair and olive complexion

I've always thought of myself marrying that chick too! And maybe one day I will.

Until then, I'm going to date what's available to me right now. I'd rather have a real woman warming my bed who is 7/10, smart, funny and lacks one thing I wanted than an imaginary woman who's 10/10.

Don't forget, even if you find that "perfect woman", there's a chance she might not find you attractive. Or your relationship might end. Nothing's perfect dude.

 

[The Diver]

I had a horrible childhood in terms of dating so I developed all these negative and self destroying beliefs towards dating.

500 posts earlier I told you to fix your inner problems (those insecurity and worthlessness feeling you have) which i guessed hunting you since your childhood. I seriously think a good psychological treatment to unlock and put behind you all your sh*its and insecurity from your past is essential if you want to get anywhere.
Nothing you'll do to improve your "outside" qualities (money, look, status ) will help you achieving your goals, while you're still battling with your sh*its from your past..

 

[bigdave17]

I've always thought of myself marrying that chick too! And maybe one day I will.

Until then, I'm going to date what's available to me right now. I'd rather have a real woman warming my bed who is 7/10, smart, funny and lacks one thing I wanted than an imaginary woman who's 10/10.

Don't forget, even if you find that "perfect woman", there's a chance she might not find you attractive. Or your relationship might end. Nothing's perfect dude.

7/10, smart and funny is exactly what I want

I don't even want a 10/10

 

[bigdave17]

500 posts earlier I told you to fix your inner problems (those insecurity and worthlessness feeling you have) which i guessed hunting you since your childhood. I seriously think a good psychological treatment to unlock and put behind you all your sh*its and insecurity from your past is essential if you want to get anywhere.
Nothing you'll do to improve your "outside" qualities (money, look, status ) will help you achieving your goals, while you're still battling with your sh*its from your past..

these recent successes are helping to destroy the inner problems

Honestly,when people go through the trauma like that of a destroyed confidence, you develop this internal voice that tells you that you're not good enough. It's all ****ing nonsense. You have to destroy that voice and understand that you're worthy of getting anything you desire

 

[The Diver]

these recent successes are helping to destroy the inner problems

Honestly,when people go through the trauma like that of a destroyed confidence, you develop this internal voice that tells you that you're not good enough. It's all ****ing nonsense. You have to destroy that voice and understand that you're worthy of getting anything you desire

Mate,I honestly wish all the best, and hope you'll get what you want.

 

[Spaz]

in reality, the amount of women or men out there who are as strong as I am in all areas are very very small. We're talking

- looks (face/body/fashion)
- money (not only the fact that I make 130K+ but that I live below my means and am excellent with managing finances while living in a cheap area. I'm in probably top 0.01% of men when you consider both these things)
- I can hold a good conversation and come across as intelligent and well educated on almost any subject matter
- I am very loyal and honest. I make plans to meet someone, I will try very very very hard to never cancel no matter what it comes up
- I am awesome towards my friends and family. I do anything and everything I can to help them out
- I have a 7 inch penis and phenomenal stamina in bed. I love performing oral sex on women and I won't start having sex until they have a violent thrashing orgasm first
- I have a fantastic lifestyle - I get almost 20 vacation days at work now so I go and do all sorts of fun stuff

This reminds me of @Urbanyst