"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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I'm going to fight the next person that makes fun of me in real life

Demystify

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A physical fight that is.

I've been constantly made fun of by several people for about ten years now (since 1998). I have had enough. It's time to put a stop to this. The next person who says something that gets to me has one coming.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Bible_Belt

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How old are you? High school? Try to at least be smart about it and not get in trouble.

Even smarter would be to go and train in a fighting sport to blow off some steam and channel your anger. You will find that training to fight takes away your desire to fight in everyday life.

edit:

If a guy is making fun of me in front of a girl and the girl laughs at his putdowns of me then he is scoring points with her and will probably get laid that same night or soon and part of the reason he gets laid was the points he scored by making her laugh from putdowns of me. So I'm not going to just go home and cry that some guy is making fun of me AND getting laid both. I'd rather kick the guy's ass and then I'll go home happy.


Where to begin? There's so much wrong with all of that, I could never get to all of it.

You sound pretty miserable, but the one person who holds most of the blame for that is you. Change your own life to make it better, instead of blaming people you keep hanging around, women, guys who get women, or anyone else. If you are unhappy, then the way to change that is within you, not in anything you do to some other guy or in fvcking or not fvcking some chick. It's you, fight with yourself, not anyone else.
 

ready123

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do you even know how to fight?
 

Demystify

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ready123 said:
do you even know how to fight?
There's only one way to find out. I am good at throwing people into things.

I'm 23 by the way and I'd rather fight the person then channel it elsewhere.

If a guy is making fun of me in front of a girl and the girl laughs at his putdowns of me then he is scoring points with her and will probably get laid that same night or soon and part of the reason he gets laid was the points he scored by making her laugh from putdowns of me. So I'm not going to just go home and cry that some guy is making fun of me AND getting laid both. I'd rather kick the guy's ass and then I'll go home happy.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Desdinova

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If a guy is making fun of me in front of a girl and the girl laughs at his putdowns of me
That's when you one-up him. Make fun of yourself and you can all have a good laugh. When you make fun of yourself, you steal away the subject of his joke, and you make the girl laugh. People who have to take themselves seriously all the time are boring as hell. If you can make fun of yourself and have a good laugh at yourself, you come out as being confident and funny. And we all know women love confident men.

Kicking the guys ass is just going to bring out the "mothering" instinct in the woman, and you still lose her because she'll be busy taking care of him in his time of need.
 

KontrollerX

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Agree with Desdinova 110%.

Instead of working on your fighting skills work on your comedy skills and self deprication skills.

You really can defeat most assh0les in life if you have a killer wit and sense of humour.
 

Interceptor

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All you're doing is manifesting violence into your life. Nothing more.
The core issue you have is not being addressed.
Fighting a guy will just be an outlet for violence, not satisfaction or empowerment.
You may get your ass kicked anyway. And if you beat the guy, you will never get his respect, only his hatred and animosity.


True empowerment is not being affected by some ignoramus making fun of you.

In some way or another, your behavior has invited people to pick on you and make fun of you.
It's in your behavior and what you are subcommmunicating.
People are not respecting you. And inviting violence will not command respect.

I know you are tired of being passive. But you are going to another extreme.
Violence.


You need to investigate what your body language is like.How you are being pereived by others, tone of voice, and how you are subcommunicating.


Address the inner issues first.
Make peace with that.

And the environment will shift accordingly.


Being angry only invited more anger and dissatisfaction.
 

Demystify

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Desdinova said:
That's when you one-up him. Make fun of yourself and you can all have a good laugh. When you make fun of yourself, you steal away the subject of his joke, and you make the girl laugh. People who have to take themselves seriously all the time are boring as hell. If you can make fun of yourself and have a good laugh at yourself, you come out as being confident and funny. And we all know women love confident men.

Kicking the guys ass is just going to bring out the "mothering" instinct in the woman, and you still lose her because she'll be busy taking care of him in his time of need.
1) I'm not a funny guy NOR will I ever be a funny guy. I'm the type of guy that whenever I make a joke everyone makes sure NOT to laugh. I also laugh at my own jokes which is something I've tried for years to eradicate but I've failed miserably. The point is that if you met me you could easily tell that humor wasn't meant for me.

2) I'm not necesarrily trying to get the girl. I don't care if they hookup but it does bother me if he makes fun of me AND they hookup. So I can't at least payback for him making fun of me by fighting him.
 

Demystify

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wutangfinancial said:
Are you ugly? Or really short/scrawny?
I consider myself average looking but just a little nerdy.

Tall and slightly lanky but I have started working out and I'm trying to achieve the V-shape.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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DJDamage

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Interceptor Bible belt and Des has got it nailed, read it again.

Demystify said:
I consider myself average looking but just a little nerdy.

Tall and slightly lanky but I have started working out and I'm trying to achieve the V-shape.
So you are a slighty lanky and a little nerdy?! those same characteristics that cause people to pick on you will also not help you in a fight.

Have you actually been in a fight? because if you haven't you probably are going to lose and lose bad.

If a girl laughs at you because of another guy's put down of you then she like him ain't worth your time or energy. You said you started working at the gym? that's good! now you have a goal, now you can be bigger and stronger and decrease the chances someone will pick on you. I do however believe that you also should be working on your social skills because by using your wit and charm you can pretty much get out of any situation or disarm potential situations without them getting out of hand.
 
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Well, if they haven't caused you any definate damages, then ignore them. However, if you can quantify some sort of damage and make a claim, then sue them, that will teach them a lesson if they have to cough up some dough and/or show up in court. Try a small claim's court action or something.

Get away from violence. Go to court and argue instead - fight with intelligence and paper work and become a lawyer.
 

Flyer

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I had the same feeling before.

I trained in boxing before. Rage just shoots in the head and all i could see was red. Then I realised what I can actually do to another person in that state.

So I took a vowed: never to fight unless there is no way out. and if I ever had to fight, I'd fight to kill.

Unless you want to end up in jail or dead. WALK AWAY. ALWAYS. (hell, I'd run)
 

The Bat

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If you've never fought before, are tall, and slightly lanky, then no doubt you're going to get your ass whooped. Big time. Make no mistake about it. All the guy would have to do is slap you in the face to knock your glasses off. And then maybe tell you to go back to your orgy with Harry Potter and Warcraft. What woman wants to sleep with a tall, nerdy dork?

You see what I just did? I bet you want to jump in to this screen and punch me in the face.

Now ask yourself, why? Why did you just let me bother you, even when I don't know you? Why are you taking yourself so seriously?

The problem isn't those guys or those girls.

The problem is you. You're doing something, saying something, acting something, looking like something that would allow other guys to make fun of you.

You want to fix it? Start with self-improvement.

Hook up with a personal trainer so you can train your body properly. Change your diet to add on some weight. Read up on some GQ forum about styles and looks to change your clothing. Go out and develop interests outside the "nerdy" zone. Don't get me wrong, I love playing video games as much as the next guy. But I don't go to the extreme that some nerds do.

Most guys don't make fun or put down other guys out of the blue. They would have to see you as somebody who looks weak, acts weak, talks weak, and ergo is weak. Are you any of the above? If so, fix yourself first.

Then worry about picking fights.
 

Rhoto

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Demystify said:
A physical fight that is.

I've been constantly made fun of by several people for about ten years now (since 1998). I have had enough. It's time to put a stop to this. The next person who says something that gets to me has one coming.
Those who start fights never end them.

You shouldn't let otherwise irrelevant people make you feel less worthy.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Demystify

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I don't care if I lose the physical fight. The point is that I need to be a real man and stand up for myself.

I don't dress badly and I don't play computer/video games.
 

ready123

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you're gonna learn the hard way
 

DJDamage

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Demystify said:
I don't care if I lose the physical fight. The point is that I need to be a real man and stand up for myself.
How about you first become a real man and then get into a fight? 2 mins of fist pumping is not going to change who you are in your eyes or theirs. You will actually look more like a kid then a man because that is what kids do when they can't solve a problem.

Only fight for a good reason and this is not a good reason but a poor reason. You are not in prison where you have to show you are a badass so nobody will mess with you, you have choices and the ability to change yourself for the better.
 

comic_relief

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Desdinova said:
That's when you one-up him. Make fun of yourself and you can all have a good laugh. When you make fun of yourself, you steal away the subject of his joke, and you make the girl laugh. People who have to take themselves seriously all the time are boring as hell. If you can make fun of yourself and have a good laugh at yourself, you come out as being confident and funny. And we all know women love confident men.

Kicking the guys ass is just going to bring out the "mothering" instinct in the woman, and you still lose her because she'll be busy taking care of him in his time of need.
Actually if you really want to one up a person

agree with them! that is what i did and once you take control of the situation, you can turn the tide of the battle in your favor.

I use that a lot.

Example:
Him: "Comic, your a f!ggot!"
Me: "Only for you big boy" ;) :p
Him: "Hey! What!?!"
Me: "What are you scared of homo's or something?" *looks at girl* "He's a homophobe, and it is really bad to stay near those types of people, why don't we head out?"
Her: "Yeah lets go"

I just agreed with him and turned it around. I do it all the time.

comic_relief
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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