Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Im going to checkout a MMA gym , feedbacks needed

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
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Im strongly considering to practice MMA, I need something that puts me back in the right track in terms of discipline and mental sharpness as much as I need something that gives me a decent foundation to defend myself and deal with potential problems.

Now I'll be checking a place next week just to see how it works, I did some grappling in my early 20s but have no knowledge of proper MMA, is there anything in particular I should pay attention to while visiting the place?

I dont know something like how they warm up, who attends, how violent the sparring is and so on.

Also I like to lift weights not only for strenght but for aesthetics as well, I got a decent body, nothing that astonish people but still a huge improvement from my genetic baseline, is there a way to keep lifting weights for this purpose while doing MMA or is a shortcut to overtraining?

Better lift and the train mma in the same day and get a full rest the following day or better to keep them separate?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Bible_Belt

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Judge a gym by the fighters it produces, and the same with a trainer. Quality places don't beat the crap out of new people for fun; only morons do that.

RELAX and BREATHE are the best two things to tell anyone sparring or grappling. It can take a year or so to understand something that simple.

Most mma fighters lift weights, too. Typically they do high-rep, low weight sets. There's also a lot of body weight exercises; sand bag workouts are great. Weight lifting only hurts you when it reduces your flexibility. The less flexible you are, the easier it is to make you tap out to submission moves.
 

AttackFormation

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1. If the dojo doesn't recognize that it's pointless and destructive to use more force than necessary in training - especially/at least with beginners who don't yet know how to defend effectively - it's a bad dojo. You want sparring, but you want to actually learn the techniques, get the reaction speed to use them, the instinct of what to do when and so on. If you go there and you find that all they really do is try to slug the sh!t out of each other, you can equate that to a soccer team that desensitizes goalies to the ball by lining up a few metres in front of them, instructing the goalie to not try to catch or block the ball, and then taking turns smashing it full on into his face. It's not only destructive, it's moronic too.

2. I've built up to doing both weights and martial arts sessions 6 times a week, two MA sessions on tuesdays and none on fridays. Saturday is a full rest day, and I will rest from an MA session if necessary for my CNS. Does it work? for me it does because I try to do it intelligently. You need to eat properly and you NEED to sleep both for enough time and with enough quality - for me that means no less, and if I'm really tired potentially a few more, than 9 hours a day. And by that I don't mean from the time you go to bed, I mean asleep. In addition to what you might think this is not only because you need to sleep but also so you actually have the energy and drive to improve, not just go through the motions every time. I would suggest doing both on the same day and getting a full day's rest after if possible.

Your body can handle more physically than you think if you recover properly, if you build up a higher workload progressively and according to what your current life situation/body can handle so you don't burn out, if you don't spar with morons.
 
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Who Dares Win

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Thanks for the input guys, is there anything in particular I should pay attention to from a strictly technical point of view (how do they teach and perform moves and so on?).

Regarding lifting and doing MMA so the best option is to bash the body with both the same day and take a full rest the following day rather then splitting it?

Something like lifting at 4pm get a post workout shake, rest couple of hours then going for the mma?
 

Bible_Belt

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Your mind is a lot more important than your body. I think you'll see that when you start training. Skinny, smaller guys that would get laughed at in a gym will outmatch you easily, especially at first. Helio Gracie, when in his 60's, would occasionally line up his dozen or so black belts and grapple each one until he submitted them, consecutively and with no rest, and all while whistling his favorite song. The lesson was to understand the value of a calm, collected mind and how that can trump strength.

If the gym teaches submission grappling, ask if any of its people have competed at NAGA, which is probably the top submission grappling tourney in the country, unless you're going to the Pan Ams or Worlds. NAGA is split 50/50 Gi and no-gi. www.nagafighter.com
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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AttackFormation

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Thanks for the input guys, is there anything in particular I should pay attention to from a strictly technical point of view (how do they teach and perform moves and so on?).

Regarding lifting and doing MMA so the best option is to bash the body with both the same day and take a full rest the following day rather then splitting it?

Something like lifting at 4pm get a post workout shake, rest couple of hours then going for the mma?
I don't have enough experience with different gyms to comment on the first paragraph, but I would guess that avoiding morons also means you avoid the ones with bad teaching.

I would say so yes. And you will probably not need to rest for a couple of hours in between, at least not when you get used to it. I go to the gym and then I go straight to the dojo and am there ~25 minutes later. I think it's mentally and physically comfortable to get it all over with at the same time so you can then rest for an extended period rather than never really being at rest during the day (which if you noticed is the same philosophy I have with taking full days off). Just like you would rather sleep for 9 hours once than 4,5 hours twice.

Adding to what Bible_Belt said, I don't think you need to have the mindset of prioritising the mind over the body. Just know that they are both important for different purposes. I think what Bible_Belt is getting at is that people may not at first think or understand that the mind is also like a "muscle" that you train and you need to shape it for what you want to be and do. You will notice that you can "feel" a fighter, because everyone has a different mental state. That's what I think every time - I'm not just there to train my quickness, strength, technique and flexibility, I'm also there to train my mind - you train your mental (fighting) intelligence, confidence and clarity.
 
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