comic_relief
Master Don Juan
Why won't skip troll a site like that?!?
*shivers*
comic_relief
*shivers*
comic_relief
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I'm going to be SO FAT. You just wait.
- Thread starter Call_Me_Daddy
- Start date
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
I got out of bed this morning sore, looked at my belly, and thought - I'm still kinda fat.
Oh wait... *flex* Ahahahaaw! There you guys are! Peek-a-boo! Ooop. Awwwhahah. *flex* Peek-a-boo!
That's right, I was playing peek-a-boo with my six pack this morning. You have a problem with that, hatchet face?
(I was also talking shiz in the mirror to myself)
*shudder* The game wouldn't be the same with fat rolls.
This is funny. This ties in with the "what's not left to b@tch about?" thread. People are such victims, that they've moved one step beyond and actually embrace, encourage, cater to, and justify their conditions. Just like the fat guy, complaining about traffic and smog while talking on his cellphone and sitting in gridlock as the only passenger with his mega-huge SUV, scarfin' down a bagful of big macs and chuggin' a gallon of coke.
"Super Size Lifestyle" really says a lot about the situation. How about something more realistic? "Far beyond necessary lifestyle" or "Extreme Excess Lifestyle" at least has a reference to normal.
Wow.
Well, live and let live. Good for them for being "happy". I can't relate, however. I did the fat thing and was very unhappy.
Oh wait... *flex* Ahahahaaw! There you guys are! Peek-a-boo! Ooop. Awwwhahah. *flex* Peek-a-boo!
That's right, I was playing peek-a-boo with my six pack this morning. You have a problem with that, hatchet face?
(I was also talking shiz in the mirror to myself)
*shudder* The game wouldn't be the same with fat rolls.
This is funny. This ties in with the "what's not left to b@tch about?" thread. People are such victims, that they've moved one step beyond and actually embrace, encourage, cater to, and justify their conditions. Just like the fat guy, complaining about traffic and smog while talking on his cellphone and sitting in gridlock as the only passenger with his mega-huge SUV, scarfin' down a bagful of big macs and chuggin' a gallon of coke.
"Super Size Lifestyle" really says a lot about the situation. How about something more realistic? "Far beyond necessary lifestyle" or "Extreme Excess Lifestyle" at least has a reference to normal.
Wow.
Well, live and let live. Good for them for being "happy". I can't relate, however. I did the fat thing and was very unhappy.
ExploringOne
Don Juan
Rofl!!!
:crackup: ROFL!!!
Wow, funniest post I've seen in months. I'm actually in a little bit of pain from laughing so much.
:shudders: Hippos complaining that many men can't handle them... wtf has this world come to...
"We have an issue and I hope those more experienced can help us with. She finds it very difficult to keep her self clean around the bottom area. She also feels very tired after trying to wipe. I don't care I luv her however she is but my baby is self concious.
I have offered to install a bidet to help. Or I have offered to help her in the bathroom. Can any of the girls give suggestions. ?""
Here's one, stick a can of lysol up her fat @$$. There was this one "colleague"(i use the term very loosely) I had to work with a while back. I kid you not, she was actually round. I've witnessed her break a a chair, and actually roll out of a chair. It was like she had a head, and small hands and legs attached to a big ball of fat...
The biggest problem I have with some fat people, is they really do stink. I mean I couldn't stand within 5 feet of this woman.
What pisses me off though, is that in this politically correct world, you can't even tell them they stink.
So to all the 350lb plus people YOU STINK! CLEAN YOURSELF UP!
I suddenly have a strong desire to go to the gym... to be around some of the thin meanie women
:crackup: ROFL!!!
Wow, funniest post I've seen in months. I'm actually in a little bit of pain from laughing so much.
:shudders: Hippos complaining that many men can't handle them... wtf has this world come to...
"We have an issue and I hope those more experienced can help us with. She finds it very difficult to keep her self clean around the bottom area. She also feels very tired after trying to wipe. I don't care I luv her however she is but my baby is self concious.
I have offered to install a bidet to help. Or I have offered to help her in the bathroom. Can any of the girls give suggestions. ?""
Here's one, stick a can of lysol up her fat @$$. There was this one "colleague"(i use the term very loosely) I had to work with a while back. I kid you not, she was actually round. I've witnessed her break a a chair, and actually roll out of a chair. It was like she had a head, and small hands and legs attached to a big ball of fat...
The biggest problem I have with some fat people, is they really do stink. I mean I couldn't stand within 5 feet of this woman.
What pisses me off though, is that in this politically correct world, you can't even tell them they stink.
So to all the 350lb plus people YOU STINK! CLEAN YOURSELF UP!
I suddenly have a strong desire to go to the gym... to be around some of the thin meanie women
THE_ADDMAN
Master Don Juan
ugh tell me bout it. they STINK *barf*
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
could you handle a hippo? I sure as hell couldn't! I do a neghit and she eats me :nervous:ExploringOne said:
comic_relief
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
monster squad
Don Juan
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Yeah. That smell. It's like **** and candy. Nauseating.
I worked for this pizza shop for a while, doing deliveries. Fun job and all that, but seriously, I've come across some fat, smelly people in my time there. You always know how bad it's going to be when you knock on their door, and they reply with "Come in.". I think I'd be better off down in a sewer. Image that stench, but concentrated. I'm getting sick just thinking about it. And there they are, sprawled out on their reinforced bed, hooked up to an oxygen tank, looking like something out of a bad sci-fi movie, drooling over the 2 large meatlovers pizzas with extra cheese, and 25 wings drenched in ranch sauce with a couple cups of bleu-cheese on the side, and a 2-liter DIET Pepsi for good measure, that they're probably going to devour in one "sitting".
I also love the ones who live in apartments, and they'd buzz me in. I'd run up 3 or 4 flights of stairs, and when they answer the door, they're the one huffing and puffing. Musta been hard walking a couple feet from the sofa to the door. Bastards.
I worked for this pizza shop for a while, doing deliveries. Fun job and all that, but seriously, I've come across some fat, smelly people in my time there. You always know how bad it's going to be when you knock on their door, and they reply with "Come in.". I think I'd be better off down in a sewer. Image that stench, but concentrated. I'm getting sick just thinking about it. And there they are, sprawled out on their reinforced bed, hooked up to an oxygen tank, looking like something out of a bad sci-fi movie, drooling over the 2 large meatlovers pizzas with extra cheese, and 25 wings drenched in ranch sauce with a couple cups of bleu-cheese on the side, and a 2-liter DIET Pepsi for good measure, that they're probably going to devour in one "sitting".
I also love the ones who live in apartments, and they'd buzz me in. I'd run up 3 or 4 flights of stairs, and when they answer the door, they're the one huffing and puffing. Musta been hard walking a couple feet from the sofa to the door. Bastards.
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Did you know that there is actual model competition for plus size women??!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU-XHlP9GtA&mode=related&search=
Only in America!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU-XHlP9GtA&mode=related&search=
Only in America!
Is this sh1t for real?
Seriously.
I just can't believe it.
Thank god here in Brazil (most) fatties know their place and STFU. It's a free world after all, but dammit, now they are trying to convince us it's beautiful?
Damn, might as well dump my bike and go eat some 2-liter IceCream now. Hmm... well...
Seriously.
I just can't believe it.
Thank god here in Brazil (most) fatties know their place and STFU. It's a free world after all, but dammit, now they are trying to convince us it's beautiful?
Damn, might as well dump my bike and go eat some 2-liter IceCream now. Hmm... well...
never again.Vulpine said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Ewwww!!! Fatty Fuzzy Navel Sex... Ewwwww!!!RedPill said:Well hey, there is one thing that fat women and only fat women are good for, and that's navel sex.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Skilla_Staz
Master Don Juan
I work with a guy whos like 350lbs, maybe like 6'0, and round a f*ck. Always asks people to help him tie his apron...the gross thought just popped into my head from one of those posts...
If he can't tie his apron, he sure as hell can't wipe his ass...
If he can't tie his apron, he sure as hell can't wipe his ass...
seanchai
Master Don Juan
To be fair, these people aren't trying to convince anyone that really really fat fvcks are sexy. They just happen to be attracted to them for whatever reason, and I've found that it's pretty much impossible to change what you're attracted to.
Still, fúcking gross.
Still, fúcking gross.
monster squad
Don Juan
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Let's keep this thread alive!
I once "dated" this chubby chick, off and on, over the years. When she was 19, she was hot as hell. Big t1ts, beautiful face, nice curves.. ect. Now at 25, she looks like a bloated corpse (ok, maybe not that bad, but she needs to lose a good 50-60 pounds). Her t1ts are even bigger, but they sag really bad, she's got mad stretch marks all over 'em. Her ass is huge. For the record, I won't even talk to this b1tch anymore, since she's got some prima-donna issues, and thinks she's gods gift to men because everyone compliments her on her fat t1ts.
Anyway, a couple stories:
This one time we met up for drinks, and I got nice and plowed. Ended up driving her home, figuring: why the hell not? On the way she said she wanted to stop at Wawa. Ok. She goes in, orders the largest hoagie she could, a bag of potato chips, and a soda. So this fattie is sitting in my car, shoveling food down her throat, and I'm basically disgusted. She musta picked up on it, because as I'm pulling into her block she say's, "I'd invite you in, but uh.... my parents are home, and they can hear everything." I was like, "Yeah, I gotta work in the morning.", which was BS. When I dropped her off she tried kissing me, but I pulled away. Then she say's, "God. I feel so gross.". No sh1t!
Another time we were out, and one of her friends (also a hogger) was with her. She's sitting there complaining about how one of her other friends is anorexic, and went off on the whole "I'm so fat" thing. Then her friend chirped in with the old, "I don't think you're fat. You look normal to me.". Then they hugged. Later on, she was taking pictured of herself with her camera phone, and I asked her why she was doing this. Her reply: "It's a vanity thing.". WTF?
I once "dated" this chubby chick, off and on, over the years. When she was 19, she was hot as hell. Big t1ts, beautiful face, nice curves.. ect. Now at 25, she looks like a bloated corpse (ok, maybe not that bad, but she needs to lose a good 50-60 pounds). Her t1ts are even bigger, but they sag really bad, she's got mad stretch marks all over 'em. Her ass is huge. For the record, I won't even talk to this b1tch anymore, since she's got some prima-donna issues, and thinks she's gods gift to men because everyone compliments her on her fat t1ts.
Anyway, a couple stories:
This one time we met up for drinks, and I got nice and plowed. Ended up driving her home, figuring: why the hell not? On the way she said she wanted to stop at Wawa. Ok. She goes in, orders the largest hoagie she could, a bag of potato chips, and a soda. So this fattie is sitting in my car, shoveling food down her throat, and I'm basically disgusted. She musta picked up on it, because as I'm pulling into her block she say's, "I'd invite you in, but uh.... my parents are home, and they can hear everything." I was like, "Yeah, I gotta work in the morning.", which was BS. When I dropped her off she tried kissing me, but I pulled away. Then she say's, "God. I feel so gross.". No sh1t!
Another time we were out, and one of her friends (also a hogger) was with her. She's sitting there complaining about how one of her other friends is anorexic, and went off on the whole "I'm so fat" thing. Then her friend chirped in with the old, "I don't think you're fat. You look normal to me.". Then they hugged. Later on, she was taking pictured of herself with her camera phone, and I asked her why she was doing this. Her reply: "It's a vanity thing.". WTF?
THE_ADDMAN
Master Don Juan
a girl I worked with was a big one. she would always flaunt her big tits and booty. I admit, girl had some nice stuff in the back and front
unfortunately, her tits sagged onto her belly and her ass disappeared into her ginormous thighs. not to mention, she was a total AW, and was emotionally unstable (she once walked out while we were really busy, cuz she was in a bad mood)
but no matter what, she always had a cheering section of guys *shudder*
standards, anyone?
unfortunately, her tits sagged onto her belly and her ass disappeared into her ginormous thighs. not to mention, she was a total AW, and was emotionally unstable (she once walked out while we were really busy, cuz she was in a bad mood)
but no matter what, she always had a cheering section of guys *shudder*
standards, anyone?
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
my ex was a nice 5 foot 2 inch at 125 lbs.
She now weighs about 140-150 at the same height. She used to be pretty hot, but she is losing it again.
she lost 40 lbs over the past two years before I met her in 2005. She must be gaining it back because she refuses to do anything outside.
comic_relief
She now weighs about 140-150 at the same height. She used to be pretty hot, but she is losing it again.
she lost 40 lbs over the past two years before I met her in 2005. She must be gaining it back because she refuses to do anything outside.
comic_relief
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
ExploringOne
Don Juan
Sure I can. I'd neg hit her with something her size - here honey, just stand on these train tracks, and the beutician will make you beautiful.comic_relief said:
Don't worry he should be coming by right at 7:15. TOOT TOOT SPLAT!
I guess it's more hit, then neg, but ehh...
dj ben2
Senior Don Juan
fat ****s like those on that site disturb me ..... they dont rly luv being fat they just convinced themselves they do cus they too lazy to lose it ..... thank god fatass aussies arent proud of it
[S]alvatore
Master Don Juan
Another post on the site:
Another woman posted this photo:
http://fantasyfeeder.com/cms/forum/attachments/b2.jpg
Some guys reply to her:
Seriously WHAT THE FU<K?
Another woman posted this photo:
http://fantasyfeeder.com/cms/forum/attachments/b2.jpg
Some guys reply to her:
Ok, i'm extremely angry now, i'm going to kick a sh!tstorm up about this.
Call_Me_Daddy
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2006
- Messages
- 1,368
- Reaction score
- 7
Warning! May indice vomiting!
WARNING!
You have been warned:
http://www.destinysbbwdesires.com/advert/174.jpg
and
http://www.destinysbbwdesires.com/advert/P1010066.jpg
Reply1:
Good gracious... what an amazing curves... you're definitely every fa's dream come true Destiny, or at least mine that is... hot silky softness in the exact right places, yummy to you sexy !
Reply2:
Wow! Your so hot. How come I can't meet anyone like you? Dont stop now continue to gain and get fatter. Lets see more of those great curves!
WARNING!
You have been warned:
http://www.destinysbbwdesires.com/advert/174.jpg
and
http://www.destinysbbwdesires.com/advert/P1010066.jpg
Reply1:
Good gracious... what an amazing curves... you're definitely every fa's dream come true Destiny, or at least mine that is... hot silky softness in the exact right places, yummy to you sexy !
Reply2:
Wow! Your so hot. How come I can't meet anyone like you? Dont stop now continue to gain and get fatter. Lets see more of those great curves!
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.