I'm getting extremely down on this...

[toneqdup]

I always come on her getting tips and things like that but for some reason i can't get it right. I just feel like giving up. And it's not like even the fact that girls don't look at me. girls I thought were way out of my league are always looking at me. I try to just go with the flow but 9 times out of 10 people don't like me. I mostly stay to myself and people have a problem with it. Why? I try to just interact and then i'm labeled as lame. I'll i do is joke around. I'm silly so i joke around alot, and people flip it around and then im this and that. So what about random women? Well i don't talk to them because i figure if alot of folks got a problem with me then that girl won't like me. I know it sounds like confidence but i feel good about myself. I like me but alot of people don't. The worst part about it is i don't disrespect them or even pay them that much mind but they got a problem with me. ANYBODY else know where i'm coming from? It makes me not want to meet new people. And if anybody knows what i mean do you know why people reacted this why when all you really say is whats up if that? If i can get help anywhere it's here because if i say this to my "friends" i'll get laughed at with little to no help.

 

[Semtex]

You'd have to be more specific, list particular scenarios...what you said, how you initiated conversations, what the response was, etc. Only then can we dissect where and evaluate you went wrong, if any.

 

[toneqdup]

It doesn't even really matter what i say. let me give an example...

Them: Wuts up
Me:wuts up
T: what about those Bears?
Me: What about them?
T:they gonna put 40 on yall!
M: Yeah aite (joking around when i say alright)
Th you want to put some money on it?
M: No sir!(joking) I don't got that much faith in us!

 

[Semtex]

Well there you go...conversations are not your forte, lol.

I'd suggest you to speak less, listen more. The less you say, the more value what little you do say has, and of course the bonus addition of mystique.

 

[toneqdup]

Well how do i improve my conversational skills without speaking more? And by what you read how am i coming off? All im doing is joking around. What would you have said/ added? I have stayed to myself for years now so how can i pull those good looking chicks without the mouthpiece?

 

[thecurtainfalls]

so how can i pull those good looking chicks without the mouthpiece?

Well, you can't. Not unless you neglected to tell us that you are well above average looks-wise. And even then, it's going to be hard to game without being able to vibe.

The first thing you have to do is make a conscious decision to change aspects of your personality. Nobody can do this for you, except you. You've got to look deep and admit that what you're doing right now isn't really working. "I've stayed to myself for years now". Well, you better get ready to change that if you want to get attractive girls. And even if you do somehow get one, do you think you're going to be able to keep one with that kind of a loner mentality? It's not a judgement call on you or anything - almost nobody gets it right the first time.

Your description was a little vague, but from what I can tell it sounds like you're saying you're mostly quiet, unless you see an opportunity to joke around a little, and then you're looked at as the clown/jester because you overdo it.

It's tough to say without actually observing you interact with someone, so take any of this with a grain of salt. But it sounds to me like your energy/frame is completely out of sync with both your inner dialogue as well as the states of the girls you are gaming. When you're "keeping to yourself", you're probably seen as too quiet and a little socially awkward. Then it seems like you try to compensate for that by being funny, but the problem is it doesn't seem like you're really that funny. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings here, just trying to get to the root of the problem.

Humor is a great tool to use with women, and nobody's saying you shouldn't implement humor, but you're not doing it quite right. If I were you, I would focus on your conversation skills first and foremost. You can pull chicks without being funny, but you can't pull chicks without a decent level of social conversational awareness.

When you're the quiet type but you try to overcompensate with un-funny jokes, you'll come off as a "try hard". If there's two types of guys that girls will run from like they have swine flu, it's try-hards and creep-o's. Girls HATE social awkwardness. Their social status and physical appearance are the two most important things to them, psychologically speaking.

Slow down. Read some of the conversation tips in the DJ Bible. Right now you're looking for lines and routines and things you can say, which are all a routine and are disingenuous. Girls can sniff this out a mile away. The secret to the art of conversation is to be present in the moment and take a real, genuine interest in what the other person is saying. Period.

Don't look at your lack of success as some sort of judgment about you or your ability to pull girls. Right now, the negative responses you are getting are because your conversational game is not calibrated correctly. As you work on improving yourself, you will notice these responses warming up slowly but surely. This is a learning process.

To wrap up:

- Speak with confidence and clarity. Make eye contact. Don't be running through your head looking for the next cheesy joke to throw out - stay present in the moment and listen to what is being said to you.

- Ask questions of the other person that show you have a genuine interest. Again, this was never really a problem area of mine so I'm not sure if I'm really explaining this that well, but there are a LOT of articles in the DJ Bible that pertain to the art of conversation.

- Humor is used to build attraction and spice up a conversation. Don't get so caught up on needing to be "****y and funny" all the time that you end up coming off like a scattered, spastic court jester. If you're usually the quiet type, build on that and frame yourself as a strong, masculine man. Being quiet then suddenly coming out with awkward jokes ----> incongruous personality traits -----> girls sense you're a try-hard.

- Go read the DJ Bible!

Good luck!

 

[women haze]

Yeah I have the Try hard mentality.......I needed to read that

 

[cola]

I always come on her getting tips and things like that but for some reason i can't get it right. I just feel like giving up. And it's not like even the fact that girls don't look at me.

Last tip you'll ever need. All that is required to succeed in this game is:

• Balls
• Balls
• Persistance
• A love for women
• A heart incased in titanium

Next..

And it's not like even the fact that girls don't look at me. girls I thought were way out of my league are always looking at me.

The terms "out of my leauge" was developed by pu$$y boys who are afraid to talk to that girl. So they disqualify her by saying that she is "out of their leauge".. That mindset has to go if you ever want success. Irradicate that out of your vocabulary..
Next..

try to just go with the flow but 9 times out of 10 people don't like me.

The only way the "quiet" guy routine works in a group setting is if your swagger is so off the richter scale that it trumps all the other males there.. When you can do this you have arrived and are now a pokemon master.. <- humor

I mostly stay to myself and people have a problem with it. Why?

Their own insecurities.. Think about it. If I was at the bar with you and I was having a good time I wouldn't really give a fvck if you were quiet.. Long as you don't kill my buzz. There is nothing wrong with staying to yourself. I go out maybe once every 2-3 weeks.. Not because i'm shy, have approach anxiety or anything like that .. I just like to smoke weed and play madden 10 online.. its my personality.. Never change for anyone.

try to just interact and then i'm labeled as lame.

I can answer this one from experience. When you are forcing it you come off as lame. You have to be your authentic self.. Say what you mean and mean what you say.. Don't just talk to appease others..

So what about random women? Well i don't talk to them because i figure if alot of folks got a problem with me then that girl won't like me.

Yeah, thats probably true if they are in your social circle.. But just branch out and make new friends who do like you. Don't hang with guys or girls because they are "cool" hang with them because your personallities clique.
Statistics show 1 in 10 people just won't like you. No reason why, just by there own judgements without knowing you they won't like you.. So I wouldn't worry about this too much..


Basically your issue boils down to the fact that you aren't being your authentic self. You aren't saying what you mean and meaning what you say. You are coming off as "fake, phony, lame" this is why you have to be yourself. The best self you can be.. But before you can be yourself to the best of your ability you have to know yourself. Spend sometime alone..
Make a list. On the list write what you like to do, whats fun to you. Write what you don't like .. And if its something you don't like than don't do it..
If that is talking alot then so be it.

Make a seprate list.. On this list write down qualities you like in people.. Also write down qualities you don't like in people. If anyone in your social circle has more than 1 quality you don't like than just cut them off and find friends who have personality qualities you don't like.

As for people not liking you here is a brief list of people you may know that weren't liked:

• Jesus
• Ghandi
• The Buddha

From this list you can discern that the point is.. peoples opinions don't mean sh!t.

Goodluck

 

[toneqdup]

Appreciate all the help. I need for somebody to tell me the truth. I can take constructive criticism. I've been trying to interact with others better for months now, but it seems like i take two steps forward and then three steps back. I think I was on the right track and then went back to doing "me" what just really wasn't working (My confidence got so high i stopped reading the DJ Bible..... I know, I know.). I think i'll just start all over. At least the DJ Bible has my confidence right now. If anybody has been in this same situation did it take MONTHS?