"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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I'm f*cking fuming right now

.Paradox.

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Been seeing a girl. Seen her four times now. Been to her place and she's been to mine. Had sex a bunch of times.

Had a date setup for tonight (scheduled it last sunday). Texted her making sure we were still on Thursday. She confirms. Text her today saying I could do earlier if she wants, but she says we should do an hour later (8pm). I was surprised because she's a super early person and usually goes to bed at 10, but I agree.

Texted her an hour ago to let me know when she's on her way (she lives 30 mins away). Now it is 8pm and she texts me back saying "I'm really not in the mood for a bunch of sex sessions". Our "date" was supposed to be me taking her out and showing her around my area, which I told her, and she responds saying "we had only talked about sex so I wasn't aware."

I screenshotted my text from Thursday confirming the date and sent it to her. I literally said: "we still on for our downtown blah blah blah tour Saturday?"

On top of this, she's taking f*cking forever to respond to every text. I'm about to call this PoS kunt.

I'm so f*cking pissed. My FWB flaked last night two hours before we were supposed to hangout, and this girl, who I honestly liked more and might've wanted to get serious with, is flaking at the absolute last second tonight. My entire weekend is f*cking shot.

She could've flaked at ANY point during the week and I would've been disappointed, but "okay" with it. Thursday when I confirmed, yesterday, earlier today. Jesus Christ. I'm f*cking sweating as I type this because I'm so mad.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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sazc

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oh ...this is a straight sh1t test....
(hot damn, im getting so good at this!)

Let me first say, i am super sorry this happened to you.
My decipher on what is going on is that she is tired of feeling like your sex doll. She doesnt feel like you see her as anything more than a guaranteed lay.

She's in the wrong for playing games with you. She should have just spoken up about what she was feeling, and let the cards fall where they would have..
 

.Paradox.

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Aaaaand of course no answer when I call her. I bet she had NO INTENTION of hanging out tonight, but bullsh!tted me anyways. I bet this f*cking stupid kunt is out at a bar with her friends right now.
 

.Paradox.

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oh ...this is a straight sh1t test....
(hot damn, im getting so good at this!)

Let me first say, i am super sorry this happened to you.
My decipher on what is going on is that she is tired of feeling like your sex doll. She doesnt feel like you see her as anything more than a guaranteed lay.

She's in the wrong for playing games with you. She should have just spoken up about what she was feeling, and let the cards fall where they would have..
Yes she's talked to me about this TWICE and I told her, both times, that I'm NOT trying to use her for sex. I even told her I had feelings for her (I like her, but I primarily said it to make her feel more secure and trust me more), but I guess this b!tch has no feelings.

But yeah, you're right.

In the next 15 minutes, ESPECIALLY if she doesn't respond, I'm burning the bridge. I'm going to tell her that I was serious about trying to date her, and some other stuff, but that her disrespectful behavior has killed it and there's no way I could seriously date a girl who not only doesn't trust me, but also treats me like absolute sh!t and disrespects me like this.
 

sazc

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Yes she's talked to me about this TWICE and I told her, both times, that I'm NOT trying to use her for sex. I even told her I had feelings for her (I like her, but I primarily said it to make her feel more secure and trust me more), but I guess this b!tch has no feelings.

But yeah, you're right.

In the next 15 minutes, ESPECIALLY if she doesn't respond, I'm burning the bridge. I'm going to tell her that I was serious about trying to date her, and some other stuff, but that her disrespectful behavior has killed it and there's no way I could seriously date a girl who not only doesn't trust me, but also treats me like absolute sh!t and disrespects me like this.
I'm so sorry. What she is doing is wrong. Sounds like she has issues. I would just NC her. I know you are fuming right now, and are thinking about her, but she doesn't deserve to know that you give a sh1t.

Go NC and she WILL reach out in a few days and you can talk abut it then, on your terms.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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9Volt

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Why are you angry and developing feelings for a chick you treated like a plate that decided to drop you? If you want to be a "DJ" you have to deal with the consequences.
 

9Volt

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Yes she's talked to me about this TWICE and I told her, both times, that I'm NOT trying to use her for sex. I even told her I had feelings for her (I like her, but I primarily said it to make her feel more secure and trust me more), but I guess this b!tch has no feelings.

But yeah, you're right.

In the next 15 minutes, ESPECIALLY if she doesn't respond, I'm burning the bridge. I'm going to tell her that I was serious about trying to date her, and some other stuff, but that her disrespectful behavior has killed it and there's no way I could seriously date a girl who not only doesn't trust me, but also treats me like absolute sh!t and disrespects me like this.
No. Why instead don't you not keep hounding her and RELAX. Maybe the chick really liked you and you treated her as a "plate". Your ACTIONS didn't match your WORDS.

Sit back and keep it cool. Don't hit her up and shoot yourself in the foot in sexually frustrated rage. She may wind up hitting you up after she calms down herself. Then IF and or WHEN she calls you talk calmly if you still actually like the chick.
 

El Payaso

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You need to calm down. You can't let a woman get to you like this.

She flaked. Your response should be "Okay".

You go out by yourself or with friends and hangout. You'll have fun and you might even meet another woman. Alternatively, you can work on any projects you had pending. Work, school or whatever. Or you can just stay in and watch a movie or call another girl you're dating.

Point is, she flaked but you shouldn't let it get to you.

If her flaking is getting you this worked up. She already knows she has a lot of emotional control over you and that's something that isn't good for you or attractive to women.

Indifference is a big attractive trait to women. A simple "okay" response will have her hamster spinning. "Wow. He doesn't really seem phased. I thought he was really into me. Maybe he has another girl lined up. Maybe they're going out on a date. What if she's at his place right now f*cking him. Omg. Let me text him to apologize and ask if I can come over later tonight...."

You may not even be doing any of the things she's thinking but what she thinks usually overrides reality when you're indifferent.
 

Julian

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you sound like a lil b1tch right now. sorry but thats a fact. cant you stop crying now please. lesson learned this is what happens when you are beta and your female dictates your emotions, roles are totally reversed here. find something else to do, dude.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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.Paradox.

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Long story short we sent back and forth several long-winded texts and honestly, even though I like her, we're not that compatible. I'm super sexual and her issue this entire time was that I'm too sexual for her and that she doesn't like sex THAT much, and that she was going along with all the sex to "please me" rather than being honest and telling me her true feelings. Said she wanted to say this, and, I'm guessing, flake, earlier in the week, but for some reason thought this would be the easier, "less drama" way. Totally moronic.

Last thing I said was "the funniest part about all this is that I was actually going to take you out tonight," to which she responded "and I feel rather stupid because of that". Didn't respond after. Just deleted her number.
 

Trump

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You need to calm down. You can't let a woman get to you like this.

She flaked. Your response should be "Okay".

You go out by yourself or with friends and hangout. You'll have fun and you might even meet another woman. Alternatively, you can work on any projects you had pending. Work, school or whatever. Or you can just stay in and watch a movie or call another girl you're dating.

Point is, she flaked but you shouldn't let it get to you.

If her flaking is getting you this worked up. She already knows she has a lot of emotional control over you and that's something that isn't good for you or attractive to women.

Indifference is a big attractive trait to women. A simple "okay" response will have her hamster spinning. "Wow. He doesn't really seem phased. I thought he was really into me. Maybe he has another girl lined up. Maybe they're going out on a date. What if she's at his place right now f*cking him. Omg. Let me text him to apologize and ask if I can come over later tonight...."

You may not even be doing any of the things she's thinking but what she thinks usually overrides reality when you're indifferent.
Completely agree. Nice post.
 

RangerMIke

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You are acting like a guy that isn't used to female bullsh!t. This happens all the time. Just go find something else to do this weekend or hit up other girls. Laugh it off and stop worrying about it.
 

Chev.Chelios

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your super pissed over this b!tch, understandable and acting all chode is natural..
your just beginning to learn the basics of dealing with these cnts man.. hahah

Im also going getting over this stupid b!tch that ruined my life but these are some of
the core lessons YOU MUST LEARN FFS

- YOU GAVE HER ALL THE POWER OF YOUR EMOTIONS.. LOSE
- YOURE NOT ABUNDANT!! MORE CHICKS = DONT CARE LOL
- WOMAN CAN AND WILL %100 PROBE YOUR WEAKNESSES AND YOU LOSE

and first of all.. FCK DATES WITH A GODAMN PASSION,

dates are for faggots..
(only when a deep connection/chemistry is there dates are awesome<3)

Right now in spokane its snowing like a motherfcker and all my roads are fcked
was at the bars last night with my buddy and met these 2 chicks that were down
to afterparty.. ANYWAY NATURE RELEASHED A MOTHERFCKING FURRY AGAINST US
bars closed at 2am and we left back home(my truck is 2wd and sucks complete ass) went
to his house to grab his subaru, that got stuck in his driveway in a 3 foot tall ice birm, spent
an hour cussing and screaming at this peice of **** to move but said fck it, its 330am and the
chicks fell asleep, one was hot to SON OF A BTCH FCK YOU NATURE FCK..

THEN I GO HOME UP THE HILL AND MY TRUCK GET STUCK FOR 2 FCKING HOURS
IM OUT THERE ALL NIGHT TILL 5AM TRYING TO GET THIS FCKING THING OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF
THE GODDMN ROAD ALONE,

I sat there looking at my tires just spinning there hopelessly stuck, look into the clouds,
and filled with hatred and rage, fck these stupid clouds, damn them to hell, they can
go fck themselves for fcking up my perfectly awesome night, dck could have been pounding
some hot blonde tang but no im out of stuck because of THESE ****ING CLOUDS

hahahha tldr im having fun writing this
Morale of the story..

woman are like clouds that snow white bullsht over your good time.

You cant fight nature EVER, one must simply accept it, Thats why man creates inventions
to make nature go fck itself in the ass. i go to my car and release the AC coolant in the atmospere
HAHA FCK YOU NATURE TAKE THAT... :(


I really dont know what the hell i just wrote....
 

Roober

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I don't mean to be offensive at all, but I am direct. And you have been here 6 years and still making simple mistakes

A couple things...
-She OWNS you. She got you mad, and has all of the power. control yourself
-Don't plan dates so far in advance. 2-3 days max.
-If you think she might flake, get a backup
-Also, I have noticed if they don't confirm the day of (you don't ever do it), text like an hour before with a message assuming she will be there... like "grab a seat at the bar when you get there" or "make sure you wear something (fits with your date)" or depending on how smooth your sexting has been "don't bother wearing any panties tonight"... basically a message that assumes she will be there...
-"I'm really not in the mood for a bunch of sex sessions" tells me you are AWEFUL in the sack, no matter wtf she says...

Work on your inner game, learn some skills in the bed...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Korrupt

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I don't mean to be offensive at all, but I am direct. And you have been here 6 years and still making simple mistakes

A couple things...
-She OWNS you. She got you mad, and has all of the power. control yourself
-Don't plan dates so far in advance. 2-3 days max.
-If you think she might flake, get a backup
-Also, I have noticed if they don't confirm the day of (you don't ever do it), text like an hour before with a message assuming she will be there... like "grab a seat at the bar when you get there" or "make sure you wear something (fits with your date)" or depending on how smooth your sexting has been "don't bother wearing any panties tonight"... basically a message that assumes she will be there...
-"I'm really not in the mood for a bunch of sex sessions" tells me you are AWEFUL in the sack, no matter wtf she says...

Work on your inner game, learn some skills in the bed...
Hahaha or maybe she just felt used because all they were doing was f*cking and it turned her off? Or do you have experience being AWEFUL in bed? :rofl:

I don't give a sh!t about OP, but it's obvious from this post, Roober, that you don't know much about the inner workings of women. Most women are much more emotional and much less physical, and there are a lot of women who can't even have an orgasm unless they have "real feelings" for the guy. You can be a tantric sex master, a sex god, or whatever the f*ck, but just the physical doesn't work on a lot of women. It's obvious that OP was f*cking this girl but not trying very hard to get to know her on a more emotional level. Roober, please work on learning more about what I just said before giving out any more advice.

In short, OP, you were seeing a relationship kind-of girl, but treating her like a f*ck buddy. That's the problem with this website and most of the advice from the guys on here--it's all primarily about f*cking girls and treating them like objects, but there's barely any information about how to build a real connection and transition into something serious. They all think that after f*cking a girl for a while it'll just become a relationship. Most of the time that isn't how it works. It takes a different kind of "game". GOD I hate the word "game"...
 

Roober

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Hahaha or maybe she just felt used because all they were doing was f*cking and it turned her off? Or do you have experience being AWEFUL in bed? :rofl:

I don't give a sh!t about OP, but it's obvious from this post, Roober, that you don't know much about the inner workings of women. Most women are much more emotional and much less physical, and there are a lot of women who can't even have an orgasm unless they have "real feelings" for the guy. You can be a tantric sex master, a sex god, or whatever the f*ck, but just the physical doesn't work on a lot of women. It's obvious that OP was f*cking this girl but not trying very hard to get to know her on a more emotional level. Roober, please work on learning more about what I just said before giving out any more advice.

In short, OP, you were seeing a relationship kind-of girl, but treating her like a f*ck buddy. That's the problem with this website and most of the advice from the guys on here--it's all primarily about f*cking girls and treating them like objects, but there's barely any information about how to build a real connection and transition into something serious. They all think that after f*cking a girl for a while it'll just become a relationship. Most of the time that isn't how it works. It takes a different kind of "game". GOD I hate the word "game"...
Not gonna lie, I used to be aweful. Marriage taught me patience, endurance, and the importance of paying attention to the woman's body, not what comes from her mouth.

If he has seen her only 4 times, assuming once a week or less, she should be craving the D. She is rejecting it on the 5th date? that is wayyyy too soon if he had been doing it right.

Hugely disagree with the bolded. The depth of most of the material in the bible, pook's book, and Rollo's stuff is about being a better man to feel a better love with a woman. Not sure why I keep repeating that all over this forum. Guys are really missing the point here... seducing women is just a great side effect

For example, strong eye contact helps with communication, displaying confidence, dominance over others. When women see this, it makes their pvssies tingle... Naturally, attraction is a by-product of making yourself better.
 

Fireballs

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There's some excellent info over on chateau heartiste about handling flakes and having a 'zero fvcks given' mindset
 

Bible_Belt

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Sexual and horny are two different things. One is attractive, and the other isn't. If you were that good at being sexual, then you wouldn't be horny. As soon as a woman thinks of you as just another horny guy, then it's over.
 

bigneil

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Had a date setup for tonight (scheduled it last sunday). Texted her making sure we were still on Thursday. She confirms. Text her today saying I could do earlier if she wants, but she says we should do an hour later (8pm).

Texted her an hour ago to let me know when she's on her way (she lives 30 mins away). Now it is 8pm and she texts me back saying "I'm really not in the mood for a bunch of sex sessions". On top of this, she's taking f*cking forever to respond to every text. I'm about to call this PoS kunt. I'm so f*cking pissed. My FWB flaked last night two hours before we were supposed to hangout
Your mistakes in bold.

Last Sunday I asked my girl out for tonight. I kissed her goodbye. 6 days went by and neither of us texted. Yesterday she wrote "How are you my love?" and I confirmed our date for today. Notice I didn't hump her leg all week? Had she flaked, I wouldn't have batted an eye. I certainly wouldn't have called her names.

Also, have you ever actually taken this girl on a date? Or are you bringing her to your dorm? Hence "I'm not in the mood for sex sessions". This is why having a job helps over the long run.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

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