I'm eating lunch with a girl this Friday, the problem is she has a boyfriend

[Deicide]

Hello, I have good news and bad news about this week. The good news is I'm eating lunch at an Italian restaraunt with an attractive Cuban woman this Friday for lunch. The bad news is she has a boyfriend. I sort of half knew she had a boyfriend when I asked but I went for it anyways. Now I know she has a boyfriend and she said she'd still go with me. This seems like an awkward situation though I do plan on paying for her meal. I wish I had met her earlier here at college. I only have 4 weeks or so here and time's running out on me and women here. She seems somewhat attracted to me, always smiling when she sees me, and on our 3rd meeting today she came up and hugged me. We've met 4 times now. I'm 21 years old by the way.
What should I do Friday?
I have never kissed a girl before and I have a big fear of taking initiative with women despite having no problems talking with them and doing easy things like getting numbers. I'm going to be a nervous wreck if I go for a kiss. Thoughts and advice welcome!

 

[Tiguere]

Go for it only 4 weeks left ...you don't have anything to lose. Make the hoe say no.

 

[tinctrar]

I would go for it as well...but she does have a man.

Its tough. Your young enough to let the karma bt you back and still take it lol.

 

[vagrant]

Hello, I have good news and bad news about this week. The good news is I'm eating lunch at an Italian restaraunt with an attractive Cuban woman this Friday for lunch. The bad news is she has a boyfriend. I sort of half knew she had a boyfriend when I asked but I went for it anyways. Now I know she has a boyfriend and she said she'd still go with me. This seems like an awkward situation though I do plan on paying for her meal. I wish I had met her earlier here at college. I only have 4 weeks or so here and time's running out on me and women here. She seems somewhat attracted to me, always smiling when she sees me, and on our 3rd meeting today she came up and hugged me. We've met 4 times now. I'm 21 years old by the way.
What should I do Friday?
I have never kissed a girl before and I have a big fear of taking initiative with women despite having no problems talking with them and doing easy things like getting numbers. I'm going to be a nervous wreck if I go for a kiss. Thoughts and advice welcome!

Just keep her as a friend bro. You don't want to go there unless you don't mind losing this girl as a friend or whatever.

I have this girl in my class who's with her boyfriend for 6 years. Her boyfriend looks a lot like me and I can tell how much this girl likes me. We ate out once, she drove and I had her pay because I forgot my wallet in my car.

I had my birthday not long ago and she took me out to this very nice restaurant. She is cool and HOT like d a m n, perfect LTR but I wasn't going in that route because I know things will get messy. I've been there before and I don't want to lose this chick as a friend.

It's not like I can't compete with the boyfriend, it's just that I've been in a 3 year relationship that just ended recently and I know for a fact that I'll be banging a lot of chicks before I turn 30.

So if I were to try and get with her she would definitely make it to my all time great p*ssy list but after that I know, it would be like we never met. Gone forever. Maybe in my 30s when I'm ready to settle down who knows. Right now I'm on my own and I don't need to be in a relationship.

So it's up to you. If you don't give a sh*t at all I would go for it and I have to say that she will let you hit it. Just be prepare to be with her or lose her.

 

[nismo-4]

The worst that can happen is that the girl flakes on you.

Did she say she had a bf? If not, then go for it! Take the initiative! But if she does, don't let that harm you mentally. Just be a man, maybe she'll set you up with her friends?

 

[Diaforetikos]

Go for it only 4 weeks left ...you don't have anything to lose. Make the hoe say no.

This.

Also, she may be thinking it's just you taking her out as a friend. Especially if you know she has a bf. I would still go for the kiss though. No need to waste time. Just hop to it.

 

[AlexTheGreat]

Just keep her as a friend bro. You don't want to go there unless you don't mind losing this girl as a friend or whatever.

I have this girl in my class who's with her boyfriend for 6 years. Her boyfriend looks a lot like me and I can tell how much this girl likes me. We ate out once, she drove and I had her pay because I forgot my wallet in my car.

I had my birthday not long ago and she took me out to this very nice restaurant. She is cool and HOT like d a m n, perfect LTR but I wasn't going in that route because I know things will get messy. I've been there before and I don't want to lose this chick as a friend.

It's not like I can't compete with the boyfriend, it's just that I've been in a 3 year relationship that just ended recently and I know for a fact that I'll be banging a lot of chicks before I turn 30.

So if I were to try and get with her she would definitely make it to my all time great p*ssy list but after that I know, it would be like we never met. Gone forever. Maybe in my 30s when I'm ready to settle down who knows. Right now I'm on my own and I don't need to be in a relationship.

So it's up to you. If you don't give a sh*t at all I would go for it and I have to say that she will let you hit it. Just be prepare to be with her or lose her.

Scarcity mentality .... they met 4 times, I think he can live without her friendship

 

[WORKEROUTER]

You are being a complete CHUMP.

First off NO LUNCH DATES EVER, unless you've already nailed the person.

Second she's going to be wasting your time, energy, and money. You are PAYING for her? What a P*SSY you are.

Call her up IMMEDIATELY and cancel this date, then delete her number. Then start approaching women, getting numbers, and when you schedule a date, SCHEDULE FOR DRINKS AT NIGHT.

If she insists on lunch, then your response is "really can't do lunch, I'm busy during the day and evenings are the only times I'm free...how about "DAY" at "TIME"?"

It's amazing how much of you guys out here act like complete chumps when it comes to setting up the dates and putting down the rules.

 

[Deicide]

You are being a complete CHUMP.

First off NO LUNCH DATES EVER, unless you've already nailed the person.

Second she's going to be wasting your time, energy, and money. You are PAYING for her? What a P*SSY you are.

Call her up IMMEDIATELY and cancel this date, then delete her number. Then start approaching women, getting numbers, and when you schedule a date, SCHEDULE FOR DRINKS AT NIGHT.

If she insists on lunch, then your response is "really can't do lunch, I'm busy during the day and evenings are the only times I'm free...how about "DAY" at "TIME"?"

It's amazing how much of you guys out here act like complete chumps when it comes to setting up the dates and putting down the rules.

I didn't realize I was acting like that at all. I didn't get to eat lunch with her Friday because she got hurt working the previous night. I initially thought she blew me off, but I'm fine with it. I'll just see what happens now. I'm 0 for 4 in women this spring for some reason. I like this girl but I don't think she likes me back. I told her via text I hope she gets better and that "I look forward to seeing her next week. )
I don't drink alcohol so drinks at night is out of the question.
What have I done wrong?

 

[DjVita]

whats stopping you? take what you want!
her having a boy friend should make yourself if this girl is still worth it.
the BOREfriend is just an obstacle more to tumble down...

 

[Serg897]

Workerouter is being a bit absolutist - lunch dates aren't always the best idea, but I've used them before with some success.

Some of the other things that have been said here are true, however. I probably wouldn't pay. Don't let this girl be a drain on your resources until you are sure she is worth it.

Second, you've got to make a move if you plan on trying to escalate things and disregarding the boyfriend. And do it soon. Like someone else said, "make the hoe say no".

It all depends on wether or not you like to go after girls in relationships. I ussually dont condone it unless she is showing signs of high IL, otherwise they can actually be good friends in that you will meet other women through them.

Also, go meet other women.

Good luck.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

I'm being hard with the rules on this guy because it's obvious he's a wussy and has very little game at this point. Because of this, he doesn't have the skillset to discern between when it MIGHT be okay to go on a lunch date (BTW I never do because still...what's the point?).

Furthermore, this women has a boyfriend. In my experience and opinion, there are so many women out there who DON'T have boyfriends..why the need to f*ck around with this one?

ANSWER: This guy HAS NO GAME! Thus he has no other girls he can call upon or go out with.

My advice for the original poster: Dump this broad completely and stop worrying about whether she likes you or not, stop analyzing every little detail. You sound like a whiny girl no wonder she's you're only prospect. Next, no lunch dates for you whatsover.

To the other idiot posters saying to just go for it, they are wrong. Rather than focusing your energy on this single b*tch (she's a b*tch for sure by f*cking around on her bf), you should be focusing your energy on developing your game and doing approaches to meet better quality women who are SINGLE and you actually have a chance to f*ck. This girl sounds like she is going to make you her "friend," and most likely because you're a p*ssy, you'll just go along with it and continue going out to lunch, coffee, etc, and listen to all of her crap.

About the drinks stop acting like a square. You don't need to go to a bar..how about grabbing some wine and going to a park? You don't drink alchohol? Stop acting like a wussy then ask if she would like a drink and you can just have something else. You have no women right now because just from your posts I can tell you're one of those passive guys who gets stuck on any girl who shows a tad bit of interest since you have no game or skillset. TIME TO CHANGE THAT.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Workerouter is being a bit absolutist - lunch dates aren't always the best idea, but I've used them before with some success.

Some of the other things that have been said here are true, however. I probably wouldn't pay. Don't let this girl be a drain on your resources until you are sure she is worth it.

Second, you've got to make a move if you plan on trying to escalate things and disregarding the boyfriend. And do it soon. Like someone else said, "make the hoe say no".

It all depends on wether or not you like to go after girls in relationships. I ussually dont condone it unless she is showing signs of high IL, otherwise they can actually be good friends in that you will meet other women through them.

Also, go meet other women.

Good luck.

No he should no "make the hoe say no." He should realize that this situation is doomed to 1) No sex and wasted time, money, energy 2) Her bf finds out and now wants to kick his ass (adding more drama and complications in this guy's life) 3)She dumps the bf and starts f*cking him in which case she'll eventually dip away from him eventually anyway and f*ck someone else.

Either way this is a situation I tell guys to AVOID because it results in unnecessary complications. You need to think of the possible CONSEQUENCES not just the immediate f*ck (which in this case he's not even getting).

 

[Deicide]

I'm being hard with the rules on this guy because it's obvious he's a wussy and has very little game at this point. Because of this, he doesn't have the skillset to discern between when it MIGHT be okay to go on a lunch date (BTW I never do because still...what's the point?).

Furthermore, this women has a boyfriend. In my experience and opinion, there are so many women out there who DON'T have boyfriends..why the need to f*ck around with this one?

ANSWER: This guy HAS NO GAME! Thus he has no other girls he can call upon or go out with.

My advice for the original poster: Dump this broad completely and stop worrying about whether she likes you or not, stop analyzing every little detail. You sound like a whiny girl no wonder she's you're only prospect. Next, no lunch dates for you whatsover.

To the other idiot posters saying to just go for it, they are wrong. Rather than focusing your energy on this single b*tch (she's a b*tch for sure by f*cking around on her bf), you should be focusing your energy on developing your game and doing approaches to meet better quality women who are SINGLE and you actually have a chance to f*ck. This girl sounds like she is going to make you her "friend," and most likely because you're a p*ssy, you'll just go along with it and continue going out to lunch, coffee, etc, and listen to all of her crap.

About the drinks stop acting like a square. You don't need to go to a bar..how about grabbing some wine and going to a park? You don't drink alchohol? Stop acting like a wussy then ask if she would like a drink and you can just have something else. You have no women right now because just from your posts I can tell you're one of those passive guys who gets stuck on any girl who shows a tad bit of interest since you have no game or skillset. TIME TO CHANGE THAT.

My "wussy" tendencies seem to come from the mental side. I've played American football and boxed before and had no problems taking punches to the head or hard hits. But I'm not an agressive person at all, just someone that has physical toughness and doesn't quite realize it until he's in the situation. I have a lot to learn about women, I know the theory and "how" to get with them, but my personality has never been able to match it. I've read articles in the DJ Bible, but I guess what I'm doing now is a vast improvement from high school. I was so afraid to ask a girl for her number in high school I looked it up in the phonebook and called her. She answered then and ignored me for the rest of the summer. So when school started back I talked to her again and asked her out and she said no and it was like the world ended. I got over it, but that's the area I'm coming from. I used to be terrible, now I'm just bad.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

No he should no "make the hoe say no." He should realize that this situation is doomed to 1) No sex and wasted time, money, energy 2) Her bf finds out and now wants to kick his ass (adding more drama and complications in this guy's life) 3)She dumps the bf and starts f*cking him in which case she'll eventually dip away from him eventually anyway and f*ck someone else.

Either way this is a situation I tell guys to AVOID because it results in unnecessary complications. You need to think of the possible CONSEQUENCES not just the immediate f*ck (which in this case he's not even getting).

I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with Wrokerouter.

You need to step out of your comfort zone and build up a social network of guys who do know how to hook up with girls.

Is there a spiritual reason for not drinking? I would have to say that success with women generally increases pretty significantly when you are drinking or in an environment where other people are drinking.

I can tell you have a long way to go if you haven't kissed a girl before....but then again this is probably because you don't party.

If I were you there are many adjustments that I would make in my life before considering getting in a relationship. I would just go to the bars and hit on slvts until you learn more about how to deal with women.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

I'm not saying you're a wussy all around you're just a wussy when it comes to women. But that is OKAY! As long as you can say to yourself that you have no game and that you will begin to work on your game and PERSEVERE through rejections in order to hit your target (which BTW should be having MULTIPLE girls to F*CK on a regular basis), then you're on the road to success.

On the other hand if you keep wasting your time and money on these b*tches who are using you for lunches and attention, you will only regress.

Like the previous guy said, stop acting like a p*ssy! Get out to the bars this Fri, Sat night and start doing some approaches. Don't drink? (BTW why the f*ck can't you drink?)...But okay fine if you don't drink then order a coke and do approaches anyway. Although I personally prefer other venues for picking up chicks, bars and clubs are by far, THE BEST PLACE for working on your game and learning how to approach. THere have been times I have regresses into being a wussy and the sooner I start going to bars and getting back into the vibe and the game, I'm back to growing a pair of balls. The reason for this is that you are surrounded by a multitute of women, some ugly (DON'T GET THE BEER GOGGLES.....BELIEVE ME), hot, some dyke, some old, some younger...but you need the EXPERIENCE!

so here's your game plan soldier: Delete this broads number and get to the bars around 10 PM this Fri or Sat night and do some approaches.

IF YOU HAVEN"T BEEN SLAPPED RECENTLY THEN YOU HAVEN"T BEEN DOING ENOUGH APPROACHES

 

[Deicide]

Thanks for the feedback. I just don't want to get involved in drinking, smoking, or drugs. Substance abuse does scare me. lol I'll look for other options but there's no guarantee. The problem with women so far is that it's a situation I can't control.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

If you want her as a girlfriend, you're going to have to tell her to lose the bf first. Establish this by, when she makes a move or gives off a strong IOI, telling her that you can't go any further because of her boyfriend. You need to word it your way, depending on the situation.

You can also use sexual misinterpretation, like if she accidentally or intentionally touches you in a sexual way, telling her that she's not getting any.

Another idea - if you have the opportunity to kiss her, go in for the kiss, then stop, right before you touch lips and pull back. Then make a comment like "I don't know what got into me," or "we shouldn't be doing this." SMILE when you say this. Smiling is VERY important. She smiles a lot at you, you should smile a lot back at her.

Well that's my advice, now for my opinion on this "situation" you've gotten yourself into...You HALF knew she had a boyfriend? What is HALF knowing? I can understand some suspicion in either direction, but generally either you KNOW or you DON'T. It's generally a rule not to go for girls with boyfriends, but it is possible to get around the boyfriend. It's also a very bad idea to manipulate yourself into a situation where you're breaking into the fabric of a relationship, especially by saying you "half know" she has a boyfriend.

If she's bored with her man, you can easily get her to leave him and turn her into your girlfriend. She is already highly receptive to you, which is a HUGE advantage. Ask her about her boyfriend and let her get into that frame of mind. When you speak, don't talk about him and her, but rather imply her and you. Just use her boyfriend as an outer "frame of reference," and to get her into an intimate state with you.

All other things aside, the best thing you can possibly do is to just go for it!

 

[old married dude]

OK, am I the only one here that has a problem with guys who try to scam on other guys girlfriends?

It's downright disrespectful to the girl and her b/f. None of you would like it if some guy was scamming on your chick. To me it's kind of like respecting other people's property. I think scamming on another guys chick is really no different that pulling out your key and running it down the side of his car. I can understand if the b/f is an extreme douche, like a deadbeat druggie or an abuser why someone would try and convince her that she's not with the right person, but otherwise the couple should be left alone. Thankfully my wife isn't tolerant of that kind of crap. If a guy pulls that on her she'll kick his a$$ if I don't get to him first.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

OK, am I the only one here that has a problem with guys who try to scam on other guys girlfriends?

It's downright disrespectful to the girl and her b/f. None of you would like it if some guy was scamming on your chick. To me it's kind of like respecting other people's property. I think scamming on another guys chick is really no different that pulling out your key and running it down the side of his car. I can understand if the b/f is an extreme douche, like a deadbeat druggie or an abuser why someone would try and convince her that she's not with the right person, but otherwise the couple should be left alone. Thankfully my wife isn't tolerant of that kind of crap. If a guy pulls that on her she'll kick his a$$ if I don't get to him first.

Lol well when it comes to people it's not as easy and clear cut as property. Sounds good that you have been able to find someone who shares those same views, but when the human psychi comes into play it can get much more complicated.