I'm doing it wrong...

[Jon55]

I've been reading a lot on this site, and practicing it in the field and whatnot, but it just doesn't feel right. I must be doing this all wrong.

I can't help trying to act like everything I've learned from here. "Be alpha", "walk like this, move like that", "do NLP, C&F, etc.". The list goes on. I go out and try this stuff but it just feels unnatural. I don't feel like I'm having any fun, but actually getting more grief.

And the thing is girls don't even reject me most of the time, I think I end up rejecting myself in my head. It's like a bad ritual of beating myself up that I can't break free of.

What pisses me off the most is that this used to never be a problem for me. Granted I could have used some work in certain areas, but for the most part it didn't matter because I was always oozing with confidence. Moreover, I was loving every minute of it and had the best attitude.

After I realized my flaws I wanted to rebuild myself from the ground up. Start over. Do things right. Have the "alpha" attitude. Now I feel like I can't get enough information on it. It's like I've become waaay too intellectual and lost my sense of humor; like I take things and myself too seriously.

 

[Tenzen]

u need to get away from the game then. Go sky diving or something, pursue something else. Sometimes i feel like i've programmed myself just to pick up women and nothing else. Pursue other things that make you happy. Try that. LMK how it goes.

 

[ready123]

the problem is you're not congruent with these behaviors.

you're trying to run game in "real-time", which is for the most part, impossible. when you try to run game in "real-time" instead of being spontaneous, you end up with a critical voice in the back of your head that won't shut up. that voice totally takes you out of your element and draws your focus away from where it should be - freeflowing through the interaction w/ maximum attention to experience

when you're in-field, give yourself permission to fvck up and don't even bother to think about any of the stuff you read on the board. just focus on the fun of interacting. then AFTERWARDS analyze the interaction in terms of what you don't understand or where you fvcked up.

what will happen is you'll be able to see what natural behaviors work for you and identify the ones that don't. then you replace the ones that don't and internalize the new behaviors in field. as opposed to what you're doing, which is trying to replace EVERYTHING and havign an identity crisis because of the incongruency

when your A-game is on, you should be feeling like you did before - confident, not even trying. everything is internalized in your subconscious and just comes out. you're not doing anything in real-time

 

[Huffman]

Read the Book of Pook (in the DJ Bible below).
It holds the answers that you seek.