I'm disgusted at how this became a PUA site.

[Konada]

Honestly I'm fvcking sick of this 'Am I alpha if I bust people balls' sh!t. If you describe yourself as being alpha or how to be more alpha. I say fvck you, you're just a scrub who needs such crutches to validate your own self worth.

You can go NC, C & F all you want. But as long as you think that such stuff makes you alpha, you're just but a loser/PUA nerd. NC/C & F only works if you can incorporate the values behind it into you.

There was a time when SoSuave was about being a real man and not some superficial 'alpha' scumbag. I honestly think people who use 'alpha/beta' reeks of insecurity.

 

[switch]

yeah this alpha thing feels so....how shud i say?..gay
i mean wats wrong with being an omega? way better than a Rolex, cheaper too
but seriously this alpha thing is getting out of hand, we r not a pack of dogs, we r human ( we eat oat meals not dog biscuits)

 

[betheman]

its not a PUA site, this is one of the better sites on the web for your development as a man. funnily enough if you trawl through posts, people were saying similar stuff to the OP nearly a decade ago, smacks more of personal frustration than a genuine critique of the site

 

[JohnnyStorm]

I have to say that a lot of recent threads on this site have me me "Hmmm" a bit. Especially the ones about having to post your POF inbox details to prove to an online community that you are telling the truth...like wtf? And we do seem to have had a fair few trolls of late...

But tend to agree with betheman, this is one of the better sites. We have control over how the forum operates by the responses you give and the threads you post...you can help steer it in the right direction.
As Captain Planet says, "The power is yours!"

 

[Mike32ct]

This whole alpha, douchbag, c&f type thing seems really try hard to me.

If you are naturally that type and it works for you, great. But trying to ACT like a b@llbuster is lame.

 

[Chamber36]

If you are naturally that type and it works for you, great. But trying to ACT like a b@llbuster is lame.

Agreed.

The fact the site is more about inner game than outer game still sort of has held me back tbh though. For example Anti-Dump's machine says not to flirt. It's about getting rid of women that are not fit. It's really more of a method on finding a wife imho.

I am now rereading Mystery Method and I have to say that is some of the most original thought I've read in a long time.

According to him, Attraction is first, then comfort, then seduction.

Makes so much sense, most guys go straight for seduction, sometimes straight for comfort, and sometimes they go straight from attraction to seduction. If you just do all three in the proper order there isn't much left to worry about. The knowledge on this site is enough to know what red flags to look out for, but some of the rules about not breaking NC, or not agreeing to meet with a girl if she doesn't like your first date idea, seems to be holding me back. It's not hard to be flexible.

In a way this strong inner game thing is also all about the ego just as much as strong outer game is. Practicing the game for the joy of it is really the mind-set we should be coming from.

I must, however, also agree that this is a great site. Sometimes though, it's a little unclear which strategy should be used.
In short:
Just because being a Don Juan has strong inner game aspects doesn't mean we should dismiss things like Mystery Method.

 

[d!ckmojo]

Agreed.

The fact the site is more about inner game than outer game still sort of has held me back tbh though. For example Anti-Dump's machine says not to flirt. It's about getting rid of women that are not fit. It's really more of a method on finding a wife imho.

I am now rereading Mystery Method and I have to say that is some of the most original thought I've read in a long time.

According to him, Attraction is first, then comfort, then seduction.

Makes so much sense, most guys go straight for seduction, sometimes straight for comfort, and sometimes they go straight from attraction to seduction. If you just do all three in the proper order there isn't much left to worry about. The knowledge on this site is enough to know what red flags to look out for, but some of the rules about not breaking NC, or not agreeing to meet with a girl if she doesn't like your first date idea, seems to be holding me back. It's not hard to be flexible.

In a way this strong inner game thing is also all about the ego just as much as strong outer game is. Practicing the game for the joy of it is really the mind-set we should be coming from.

I must, however, also agree that this is a great site. Sometimes though, it's a little unclear which strategy should be used.
In short:
Just because being a Don Juan has strong inner game aspects doesn't mean we should dismiss things like Mystery Method.

I'm with you bro. That Mystery dude is a f'ing genius in my eyes. You can use the tools he conceptualised or not, that's up to you, but I personally find them powerfully useful and will evangelise about them to other people because they could be helpful to you too.

 

[Packers2010]

i would say there comes a point where " alpha" means nothing to you anymore. IE you out grew it.

i think it's just a noobie term and just a quick way of describing someone who has his **** together

 

[blindnowisee]

As all things in life - you pick up the good parts and form your own opinion on them. You don't just read everything and give it all a shot and then complain it doesn't "work" - that's plain ignorance.

 

[EastWind]

I have to agree with the OP. Concepts such as NC, C/F etc. are only labels we have thought up to define something that runs much deeper... mostly the state of not caring too much about unimportant things.

I find that the key to being generally happy and what people like to call "a man" is just being able to think clearly and put things into perspective. Being social beings, our brains are wired to think about social ties... but few of us can put unimportant thoughts aside.

Mostly it has to do with facing your problems: what is it YOU are doing wrong with your life? How can you improve your experience of life? On your own?

On a side note, I find Mystery to be a complete nutcase. You don't have to be a shrink to realize he had some very, very serious issues while growing up, and still has them. I guarantee that with a few lucky exceptions, you will get no good out of his method. He's just another guy who claims to have a few answers, like so many out there... but at least some of those out there don't advocate dressing up like a weirdo.

His method is tuned almost exclusively to clubs and stupid women. Women can smell true confidence a mile away, and this is not the confidence that comes from having run a few picture-a-cube games on a drunk hottie in a club. This is the confidence that comes from having faced your problems, and your fears, and come either to solutions or to terms with them, and knowing what it is you WANT out of life and women. Nothing attracts good women better than them feeling that the man they're talking to is constantly judging the interaction according to his criteria, and hoping they'll pass the test.

In Mystery's world you are no more than a dog doing tricks to impress people. His world is all about women. A man's world is all about his own wishes.

 

[HalfAddict]

Have I not been *****ing about this alpha thing for months now, I am to the point where if you are describing yourself as alpha or asking how to be more alpha I am just going to hijack your thread.

 

[JohnChops]

Bottom life if you say or think your alpha your not alpha. Why not just not care about that sh1t and be a man and do what ever the hell you want. Let's me honest here PUA is lame fix your life first, women are second to everything

 

[NaughtyNinja]

Mystery method, is common sense evolved. He put's everything together nicely and the Mystery Method e-book is incredibly easy to find.

 

[perseverance]

You'd have to be an idiot to buy into everything this site tells you, but you'd have to be an absolute moron to post a thread ranting and raving about some silly labels used by some people to describe themselves and others.

 

[Konada]

No doubt this is a good site but I feel SS has been steered into a generally PUA mindset direction. I believe we should be focusing more on the values to become a quality man, rather than dishing out advice like 'NC' , try 'C & F' to newbies who think being 'alpha' will get them girls. It's a vicious cycle where it results in newcomers thinking: 'In order to be alpha, I must do this etc etc.' All of these advice given are rather superficial to me because they don't focus on enacting a paradigm shift in a newbie but rather a band aid to his current problem.

I'll admit it wasn't very wise for a dude to be writing a post when he is half drunk but I still stick to my stand. We need more people to guide newbies into discovering the principles behind the 'actions' we employ.

 

[ullysses59]

I am new to this forum but not to life and relationships.
For myself , I use to be far more Alpha than now and I would say I am a beta with an Alpha mentality from time to time

I believe that if being an Alpha means to do what you want in life and be confident and show women that you are indifferent to their emotional pull , you will be more successful with women. They do like a man who knows where he is going and it is that attitude that keeps a woman from straying or cheating. As far as banging women and showing no emotion , I think that is something else. If an Alpha likes or Loves a woman , when he makes love to her , he will become emotionally involved with her as well. That is not a beta behavior but human nature.