"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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I'm disabled, need workout without arms

Huffman

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Okay I'm not really disabled, sorry for the dramatic title :rolleyes:

But I have a tear in my shoulder labrum (not a complete SLAP tear but similar). So I've been taking rehab for 6 months now and not sure if its getting better... I will probably have surgery soon.

ANYWAY I've been sitting around and watching my body deteriorate for months, and I've realized how depressed I'm feeling everyday.

So just for the sake of working out, I need to work out. Not to make gains, but just to feel good. Not using the arms, it must heal 1st priority. If I do get surgery I won't do anything for a couple of months, but now I must do SOMETHING.

So what can I do for general strength? Probably just bodyweight exercises like crunches or light squats etc. Any idea what I could do for cardio? I figure a hometrainer that I use without hands... what do you think?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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EFFORT

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Nothing is fun about being injured and having to sit out. Understand that you will eventually be able to return to lifting.

The first order of business is to get your injury the correct treatment. If surgery is what you need then create a plan to make that happen. Are you doing self rehab or working with a PT or OT?

With your injury you can still work out your lower body, just be very careful to not do anything that will possibly cause more injury to your shoulder.

Body Weight Squats
Body Weight Lunges
Body Weight Romanian Deadlift
Body Weight Standing Calve Raises
Lying Leg Raises

Do the above in a circuit format, as many reps as you can do for each exercise. Catch your breath, drink some water then move directly to the next and do the same thing. Rest for 5min at the end then repeat the entire thing. Do the circuit a total of 3times. Do this workout 4times per week. Also go for a 30min brisk walk daily.

This would also be a good time to clean up your diet, so post it up here and me or someone else can recommend some changes if necessary.

This would also be a good time to pick up some other hobbies that will force you to grow as a person. Look into acting, improv comedy, toastmasters, volunteering.

The combination of rehab+cardio+circuit workout+eating a balance diet+adding new hobbies will clear away some of the unproductive/depressing cloud that an injury period can create in your life.
 

Huffman

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Thanks man, I appreciate your help. I'm working with a PT twice a week, but after my last session next week I'll see the doc again. Then surgery might be decided. I'll need a couple of weeks and then find the best surgeon possible.

Thanks for the exercises. My diet is crap, basically I've been slacking since I stopped working out. I still look pretty fit, which surprises me, but I can feel it going downhill now.

Morning: Oats + a little cereals
Lunch: Wholegrain bread sandwiches which I get at work (they're not complete junk)
Dinner: Random stuff. Wholegrain rye bread (I'm a German :D) with tuna, scrambled eggs, anything quick really. Sometimes I cook curry with chicken and brown rice. Frying a huge steak with a little bread on the side.
Snacks during the day is apples bananas carrots.

My diet used to be better but yeah I've said "why bother, I can't train anyway". You're right, I should put more effort into it again!

And yes, in order to not sit depressed at home I've started taking classes in Spanish and Mandarin, and I'm taking drum classes. I have a more-than-fulltime job giving me loads of money, because I thought if I can't do sports then might as well use the time sitting around.

Once I'm at full health again, I will use the money to travel and do what I want.

But it feels good to do a little training, even if it's not much.
 

tyciol

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Huffman said:
I have a tear in my shoulder labrum (not a complete SLAP tear but similar). So I've been taking rehab for 6 months now and not sure if its getting better... I will probably have surgery soon.

ANYWAY I've been sitting around and watching my body deteriorate for months, and I've realized how depressed I'm feeling everyday.

So just for the sake of working out, I need to work out. Not to make gains, but just to feel good. Not using the arms, it must heal 1st priority.
If it's only 1 shoulder's labrum, you could do dumbbell movements with the other arm, right? Barbell work might be out, but no reason not to work the other side. I doubt it'll blow up all over-sized overnight.

Using the free hand to stabilize during leg movements like lunges would be interesting, like if you were using a swing arm on a perfect pull-up.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Huffman

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Thanks guys. I'm cycling for cardio now, I can do it because your shoulder doesn't move. Running (or soccer), on contrast, is very painful because it makes my shoulder flop around.

I've been doing some bodyweight exercises and I'm feeling much better lately! Better do something than nothing at all.

Anyway now it seems like I WILL have surgery. Doc says if I'm still having those subluxations and getting jolts of pain while running it's never going to get better on its own. If physio hasn't worked after all this time my best bet seems to be surgery. I'm seeing another specialist doc next week to get a second opinion.

So I won't be working out at all for another couple of months after surgery of course :) But thanks for your support!
 
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