I think my life is starting to get too ****ed up to the point I'm constantly depressed. Every part of my life is ficked up. Only have 1 year left at school but can't afford the tuition and can't get a loan (so I'll need to save the cash before I can finish). My job's ****, the managers treat me with disrespect and only schedule me when no one else wants to work (I work as a server and only gets the shifts when the restaurant is empty, therefore I don't make any money, which contributes to why I can't finish school this year). I can't find a new job since the job market is **** in my city. I had to move back in with my parents because I couldn't afford my old place and can't find a place I can afford. I have zero women in my life and can't afford to go out to often to meet any. Even this nasty (as in mean) over-weight party slut that I know can get into a relationship but I can't find one girl interested in me (not that I'd blame them, what chick would want to date a unsuccessful guy living with mommy). I don't know what to do anymore. I've considered quiting my job (since I don't make any money there anyway) and move out to this smaller city my friend lives in (a plus is that it has great snowboarding in the winter). The only reason I'm posting is to get advice from guys who were in a similar situation and managed to turn their life around. It really has little to do with pick up (I don't view myself as being good enough to date anyway). I'd like to improve with women but there's a lot I need to do before that's even possible. Thanks.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
**** I'm depressed about my life
- Thread starter lost_guy
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
No I can't borrowing money from my parents. They never went to school so they aren't interested in helping me finish. And a loan is out of the question since I'd need a co-signer, something my parents also refused to do. Unfortunately school is out of the question this year but if I can save 300 a month then I'll be able to go next year. My question isn't really dealing with pick up like I said, though my failures with women add to my depression.
and how am I supposed to look at things positively when I can't afford somewhere to live, can't afford a car, can't afford to go out, and can't afford to advance my education? I know the solution seems to just be "get a better job" but unfortunately where I live without finishing school your options are limited (ie, there's lots of ppl around here with limited employable skills and therefore unskilled jobs are difficult to come by).slaog said:
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
lost_guy said:
Have you any goals in life? Focus on your goals. Theres more ways of making money than working for somebody. Keep your mind open.
Even in your current situation I can see plenty of positives. You have a roof over your head, food etc etc.
Well, most of my "mistakes" aren't really mistakes but just unfortunate realities. It's not like I piss money away drinking or got kicked out of school. I just don't have a job where I can afford all my responsibilities. Getting a new job would be ideal but having a hard time with that and this whole situation is stressing me out and making me depressed. I was 100% expecting to finish school this year, get a good job and start off my life. But that's not happening and that's not something I planned for (or really want, I want to go to school). My **** with women isn't as closely linked with my financial situation as the other crap, although I do know that money does have some effect on how women perceive me.Trader said:
yes I have goals in life. My main goal was to finish this damn computer science degree and then get a job as a software engineer. I have almost all of the technical skills to do the job but just don't have the piece of paper to prove it (and unfortunately that's matters a lot, as far as I've been told I may as well have nothing if I don't graduate).slaog said:
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I had to move back in, forget about dating if you live w parents, main focus right now should be finding a job, everything else will follow. Don't let others fool you, get the money situation figured out before chicks. I haven't dated in a year, no money. Don't feel like penny counting after a date. PM if you like. We are in the same boat, and the boat is leaking.
getting a bank student loan isn't possible without a co-signer and the government decided I should be able to pay my tuition and didn't grant me a large enough student loan through them. Basically it comes down to that I need to take a year off and save a few grand. I already looked into it. The only other option is to somehow defer my tuition and come up with the money for it before Dec (and then I'd need to do the same for the winter semester). But I'd rather not do that, the financial stress will distract me from my studies and this last year is really the only year that matters, I need to get good grades.Falcon25 said:
initiatorhater06
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2010
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- 193
- Reaction score
- 7
Yeah, since traditionally us men are supposed to be the main financial provider, thats why we have to succeed in life before having a chick, high school and early college it was so much easier, those are the freedom years.Falcon25 said:
A
Aazman
Guest
right- i say do this. Sit down. List all your problems. Think of ways to solve them. or how about this: list them on here. and we can see how you can solve them.
As for money for school- are you in the states or europe?
As for money for school- are you in the states or europe?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Teflon_Mcgee
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2006
- Messages
- 918
- Reaction score
- 27
Have you even tried to get a CS job/internship?
Every company I've worked for had CS interns or CS majors working. You're right in that companies want a degree to pay you the big bucks but A LOT of companies will hire students (especially with only one year left) because they are a great bargain. Think about, times are tough for businesses too. A lot of projects don't require a Phd so it's stupid to pay 6 figures fir a job a student will do for $15.00-$20.00 an hour.
OR
Go pick up the book "Zero to One Million" by Ryan Allis. See how a CS degree can make you a billion dollars before you even graduate.
Every company I've worked for had CS interns or CS majors working. You're right in that companies want a degree to pay you the big bucks but A LOT of companies will hire students (especially with only one year left) because they are a great bargain. Think about, times are tough for businesses too. A lot of projects don't require a Phd so it's stupid to pay 6 figures fir a job a student will do for $15.00-$20.00 an hour.
OR
Go pick up the book "Zero to One Million" by Ryan Allis. See how a CS degree can make you a billion dollars before you even graduate.
CarlitosWay
Master Don Juan
Join the Military. Be smart with the money earned. Get school payed for and than some and enjoy the experience.
Hopefully by the end of the year. I'm joining the Navy or Coast Guard. I only need 15 more credits....
Hopefully by the end of the year. I'm joining the Navy or Coast Guard. I only need 15 more credits....
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Trader said:
And the answer is a resounding "no."
To the OP, I'm not trying to kick you when you are down, but you have to take responsibility for your life. Why doesn't your boss like you? I bet that relates to a specific choice you made at some point in that relationship. You fvcked up somewhere; that is the only answer. But until you see life that way, it all really is hopeless, because you don't see yourself as having any control. Misfortune just rains down from the sky. Poor poor you.
And maybe I'm wrong about your boss. But that's not the point. The point is that you are the one in control of whether or not people like you, women and bosses both. Obviously you have to learn to like yourself enough first, before you can see that you are the one in control of your life.
By the way, I had lunch recently with a friend of mine from high school who just finally lost the last of his sight after several years of slow deterioration and failed healthcare. He has four kids and his wife hurt herself at work and now can't earn an income. But instead of taking a disability check, he is going to school to be a telephone collections agent for the IRS, and looking forward to it all. You know how much b!tching he did over the course of the several hours I talked to him? None. Now guess how much sympathy he would have for you. Very little, I suspect.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.