"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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IM Convo w/ a 7.5 Hot babe

dragonsexpress

Don Juan
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hey guys, here's a convo I just had with this hot babe from college.

JtCase0783:hey, i see your away msg is on, i'll check ya out later

half hour later:

:talking from her away msg: JLea723:whos this?

JtCase0783:my bad, wrong person

she then returns from away

JLea723:eek:h ok

a minute after that I go back and IM her

JtCase0783: hey my bad, this is the right person.. i picked up your s/n off facebook because your gorgeous
JLea723: haha thank u
JLea723: so who are u
JtCase0783: i'm jarett, i think we met?
JLea723: in person?
JtCase0783: mm nah i'm not sure
JtCase0783: are you in the dorms?
JLea723: the village
JtCase0783: oh, yeah i'm not sure.. but hey, i gotta get back to some work.. im me later
JLea723: k bye

what are some suggestions that I can have for this convo?

thanks
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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JMillion

Don Juan
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If you're at college, why don't you try going out and meeting one of hundreds of co-eds available to you in person.
 

Nighthawk

Master Don Juan
Joined
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It's terrible. It starts badly, establishing contact just to say you'll try again later, which you dutifully did after just 30 minute. In her mind you were twiddling your thumbs watching the clock. Why not just wait until you know she's online, or leave a message that isn't so dull?

Then it got worse with the confusion about whether you've contacted the right person (though a humorous 'I seem to be a little retarded today' would make her laugh and build rapport.

'I just wanted to say you're gorgeous'? Yes, devalue your status right off the bat. 'Oh please pretty lady, spare me a moment of your busy day so I may kiss your a$$?'

Then you suggest you have met, then aren't sure - which sounds shifty and is dull reading. Then you shoot off leaving her thinking, if she hasn't forgotten you already, 'who was that weird person and why should I message them back?"

Have you read The Bible? Where was the ****y and funny? Where did you establish that you were The Prize? Better get reading before she IMs you back.

But don't hold your breath.
 
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Eccentric

Senior Don Juan
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Dec 9, 2005
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LOL.

Straight up AFC.

You apologized for sending her the first message.


JtCase0783: "I've seen you on facebook, but I haven't seen you around campus.
Thats a nice shirt you have on in your profile.
JLea723: haha thank u
JLea723: so who are u
JtCase0783: I have the same shirt, it doesnt match my earings though :-(. I'm ____ by the way.
JLea723: *whatever she says*
JtCase0783: *whatever your response is to that*

Trust me, you never know whats going on. She could be having a bad day. If you make her laugh a little at a simple line, your stock goes up. Better than calling her gorgeous. How many other guys have done that same thing from face book?

JtCase0783: so where are you located?
JLea723: the village
JtCase0783: oh yeah? im in the dorms. well ____ me and my friends are going out on ___ and we're always looking forward to meeting new people. you should join us, and bring some friends if youd like. it will be a fun time.
JLea723: ok *blah blah blah*

It maynot be the best, then again I dont use AIM for pickups. If shes interested, #'s would be exchanged. She'd most likely bring her girls along. Probably wouldn't bring a guy. So if things aren't going your way, keep your cool. With her or her friends available, never say its over until its over.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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