I'm confused, really mixed signals.

[Jokerlsk]

Ok, so there's this girl that i met three days ago. She's a sophomore and I'm a junior. We take guitar at the same place and the place hosts this concert for its students. That's sort of how i met her. She's pretty, and I am usually attracted to artistic girls like her self. We started talking, and i took her phone and texted myself something like, "You're hot" as a joke just so i could get her number. We started talking and flirting, and she asked me to marry her on facebook or something. I thought it was funny, so i did.

I actually used kino a lot, which is rare for me. She tried to hug me, but i told her, "I don't do hugs." Just to get under her skin. We ended up sitting next to eachother, and she put her legs on mine, so i tried to untie her shoes. I flirted a lot more than I ever have to be honest, and I actually did a pretty good job. She had to go, but I gave her a hug before she left.

This was over the span of two days, and i didn't force anything. All of it was natural, and it felt good. I feel like i've taken a step forward and have gotten out of my comfort zone. We talked about going to see a movie this weekend, and she actually seems to like talking to me, but heres where the mixed signals start.

I got on facebook the other night just to check up on things, and her status was "Take a hint!"
I don't know if i'm reading into anything, but i thought that was up for interpretation. I don't even know if she was talking about me and there are so many ways you could look at it.

 

[omega05]

so then why are you worrying about it if you're not even sure it's about you?

 

[Jokerlsk]

I just thought it was weird. You know?

 

[Sofomore]

How are those mixed signals? She wants your d!ck, in and around her mouth.

 

[f283000]

joker, first things first
1. read the 2 STRIKES RULE

After you read it and you apply it to your life you won't be complicating yourself anymore.

 

[Jokerlsk]

Okay, thanks guys. Do you have tips to give me in general on what i should do next? I've only known her this past week, but i think me and my friends are gonna go see a movie this weekend. Should i ask her?

 

[tafakna]

Don't chicken out...

Drop this me and my friends... and ask her out... nail her...

If she's giving you sexual signs, be sexual... Inviting her to hang with you and your friends will just make her respect you less...

Just don't fall for the girl, specially if you nail her on the first date (it usually is a good advice)...

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Uh. She asked you to marry her on facebook, then she has her status as "TAKE A HINT"

I would assume that she's telling some other dude to take a hint that she's not interested, hence her marrying you on facebook and trying to go out with you. If her only mixed signal is a facebook posting to the whole world, then you're just being insecure here and looking for reasons to think negatively about the situation.

 

[f283000]

Okay, thanks guys. Do you have tips to give me in general on what i should do next? I've only known her this past week, but i think me and my friends are gonna go see a movie this weekend. Should i ask her?

Dude you need to man up! do you want her to be your lover or your friend? you don't become her lover by not taking action or asking her to go see a movie with you and your friends. You need to ask her out on a date, just you and her, show her you are a man, show her you are a sexual being not a friend.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Dude you need to man up! do you want her to be your lover or your friend? you don't become her lover by not taking action or asking her to go see a movie with you and your friends. You need to ask her out on a date, just you and her, show her you are a man, show her you are a sexual being not a friend.

THANK GOD someone said it! Yes, yes, yes.... by going to the movies and all this other safe-ass stuff you want to do, it's only going to freeze you up more and eliminate any opportunities for intimacy. Then you'll be on here whining about how now the window is closed and she's flirting with all these other guys on FB because she green lighted you and you rejected yourself!

She really wants it - time to figure out if you've got enough leather in your sack to do something about it. If you pu$$y out here, you're setting a dangerous precedent of inaction in the face of certain success for yourself.

Also, why did you tell her you don't do hugs? I guess it's a compliance/neg thing, but I would never remove the #1 opportunity for kino from my bag of tricks like that.

 

[Jokerlsk]

Alright guys, listen, I don't want to 'nail her.' That's not the type of person I am. I'm only 17, and I'm only a junior in high school. That's not something I would allow myself to do. Same with drinking and stuff. My friends do it, but if my friends jumped off a bridge, would I? No. It's about being strong minded, and being your own person. Those qualities are fine, they just aren't something I wanna do. No offense to anyone.

To be honest, I've never been on a date one of one before, so I figure it would be easier if i just asked her if she wanted to go with me and my friends. My friends are going to a movie tomorrow anyways, so I don't think it's that big of a deal, you know? I'm not trying to make this into more than what it is, I just want to have fun. I actually want to get to know this girl.

I guess y'all can say that I don't know what I'm doing and that I'm, 'safe.' I honestly don't know what I'm doing, i'm just doing the best with what i can.

Also, another thing i was thinking about is when i ask her out, should i just text her, or should i call her?

 

[f283000]

I guess y'all can say that I don't know what I'm doing and that I'm, 'safe.' I honestly don't know what I'm doing, i'm just doing the best with what i can.

Also, another thing i was thinking about is when i ask her out, should i just text her, or should i call her?

I recommend you read the dj bible if you say you don't know what you are doing.

Do you want to be her boyfriend or her friend? if you want to be her boyfriend you need to ask her out on a date one on one. You need to avoid texting and you need to call her so she can hear your voice. If you do what is "safe" you are going to end up in the friend zone. She will lose interest in you and look for another guy that shows her he is interested in her as a woman not a friend.

 

[Jokerlsk]

You're right, and that came out wrong. I know what I'm doing, it's just new to me because I've never really done it? Sorry, it's confusing.

I want to be her boyfriend, and you're right, i should do that. It's just that idk if she's my type. How do i treat her as a woman without coming off as a complete perv?

 

[thecurtainfalls]

I believe there is a forum dedicated to the high school aged DJ, no?

 

[Jokerlsk]

Do you know how many people actually get on the highschool forum?

 

[Jokerlsk]

ok, ok, ok.
Update:

So me and her have been texting a lot lately, and I still have no idea.
We were talking about seeing a movie this upcoming weekend, and somehow saw 6 came into the picture. I said something like, "That movie is gonna mess me up lol" and she said, "Aw, it's okay, I'll hold your hand " later on she said, "I totally scream in scary movies! It's embarrassing!!!" and I said, "I definitely wanna see this. I bet it's cute " then she said, "No, it's embarrassing!!!" and I said, "Don't worry, I'll only make fun of you a little bit"

This conversation went well, but right towards the end she said she the friend she was with, idk her name, well she wants to go with us. So there's a curveball.........

Here's another conversation. She said something like, "You rejected my first hug " because I didn't hug her back as i said earlier in this thread. Then i said, "I don't just hug anyone, you know." and she said, "But you hugged me!!" and i said, "Yeah, it's kind of a big deal haha" and then she said, "I wanna hug right now..." and I said, "I would give you a hug but you're too far away." then she said, "It's the thought that counts, right?!"

She flirts with me, and that's obvious, but she throws curveballs at me. She tells me stuff like, "I wish you went to my school..." but she never texts me first. If we're going to talk, I ALWAYS text first, and that throws me off balance. Idk how to take this further. I feel like i should stop texting her for a day or two but idk..

Advice??? Where do i stand?

 

[Igetit!]

ok, ok, ok.
Update:

So me and her have been texting a lot lately, and I still have no idea.

Number 1:What have these text you and her have been sending back and forth consisted of?

What do you two talk about?

We were talking about seeing a movie this upcoming weekend, and somehow saw 6 came into the picture. I said something like, "That movie is gonna mess me up lol" and she said, "Aw, it's okay, I'll hold your hand " later on she said, "I totally scream in scary movies! It's embarrassing!!!" and I said, "I definitely wanna see this. I bet it's cute " then she said, "No, it's embarrassing!!!" and I said, "Don't worry, I'll only make fun of you a little bit"

This conversation went well, but right towards the end she said she the friend she was with, idk her name, well she wants to go with us. So there's a curveball.........

Hmm. If she's thinking about allowing her friend to tag along,she's either doing it as a buffer between you and her,or you didn't make yourself clear enough in letting her know it was a date date.

Here's another conversation. She said something like, "You rejected my first hug " because I didn't hug her back as i said earlier in this thread. Then i said, "I don't just hug anyone, you know." and she said, "But you hugged me!!" and i said, "Yeah, it's kind of a big deal haha" and then she said, "I wanna hug right now..." and I said, "I would give you a hug but you're too far away." then she said, "It's the thought that counts, right?!"

Jokerisk,you missed an GOLDEN opportunity to slam her right there. When you said that you don't just hug anyone,and she said,"Yeah,but you hugged me!",you shold have said something like,"Yeah,and you should consider yourself lucky".


When she told you she wanted a hug right then,that (in my opinion) was a slight test.



See,you told her that you don't just hug anyone,which implies that your hugs are special,and you don't just give them out to any and everyone.



So she tested you to see if that was the case. When she told you she wanted a hug,you should have been like,"Uhh....and? What are you telling me for? Go find somebody to hug".




If she's hot,then she knows that all guys want to hug her because of her hotness,but YOU TOLD HER you don't just hug anyone.




So she said she wanted one to see what you'd do...and you failed the test.

She flirts with me, and that's obvious, but she throws curveballs at me. She tells me stuff like, "I wish you went to my school..." but she never texts me first.

So when she flirts with you,what EXACTLY does she say or do?

PLEASE...PLEASE be exact on this question.

If we're going to talk, I ALWAYS text first, and that throws me off balance. Idk how to take this further. I feel like i should stop texting her for a day or two but idk..

Do you ever talk to her on the phone,or do you two just trade text?

Advice??? Where do i stand?

Where do you stand?
Well,I hate to say this,and I know you REALLY HATE hearing this....but...you seem to be leaning towards the friendzone.



I didn't say you were there,it just seems like you seem to be swaying more in that direction than towards you two dating.




I think you said that you just recently met this girl,and that's GOOD.
I hate it when guys try to date girls they already know and have a history with.





This girl is fresh and new,you don't have a history of being around her and being non-romantic/sexual. You have this in your favor even though you may be leaning towards LJBF.






I'll be honest with you...I haven't seen much attraction here. Lots of comfort,but virtually no attraction. That's one of the reasons I asked what was in all those text you two sent each other.





I don't think it too late to make her see you in a romantic light,but you need to so SOMETHING...and soon.

 

[Cure]

These are NOT mixed signals.
Its quite clear she likes you. I remember when I was 17, dating was all so political.

She likes you, call her, think of somthing you want to do, and get her to accompany you. flirt, laugh at, kino.. kiss etc etc..

Good luck.

Cure.

 

[Jokerlsk]

We talk about hanging out, and it's just random flirting a lot of the time. We have that joke about how we're married on facebook, and how she likes it 'rough.' We joke about sex and things like that. But we pretty much only talk through text. I'm a much better speaker in person. it's kind of my thing.

 

[Credos]

Alright guys, listen, I don't want to 'nail her.' That's not the type of person I am. I'm only 17, and I'm only a junior in high school. That's not something I would allow myself to do. Same with drinking and stuff. My friends do it, but if my friends jumped off a bridge, would I? No. It's about being strong minded, and being your own person. Those qualities are fine, they just aren't something I wanna do. No offense to anyone.

Haha I alwayse tend to forget that you americans aren't allowed to drink till you're 21 right... Here in Europe drinking age is 16, driving age is 18, I prefer it our way...

Anyhow, by us telling you to nail her it means in this case: stop acting like a homo and start acting like a man.

Here's the thing: you think to much. The facebook bullsh*t about: "Take a hint" might have been to you and it might not be. Nobody gives a damn, what's done is done and there's nothing you can do to change the past. Don't dwell on the past.

Now don't worry we've all been in your shoes and we all went to this phase (why else would we ever stumbled upon this website). As you describe the scene here is what I would advice.

1) stop texting so much, you wont have anything to say in real life if you text all sorts of stuff... this is a basic rule, by texting to much you losing stuff to talk about in real life.
2) By texting her so much etc you come off as desperate, so seriously STOP TEXTING SO MUCH, let her ask for attention instead of the other way around, again, basic rule. You think the 3 day rule is a joke? It kinda is but it just means: DON'T BE AN ATTENTION WH0RE, NOTHING TURNS A WOMAN MORE OFF THAN A MAN CARVING FOR ATTENTION
3) step up your game and go for the score... "Nail her" or as you prefer to hear it: Get some kino and go for the kiss, presume this phase for a while and then try convincing her to try out a little bit of the in-out theory (for some it takes longer than others, but thats a different subject)
4) stop being a crybaby about booze etc... You sound so serious about something you clearly nothing about, considering you don't drink. Chill out, you're 17, it's okay you don't drink, but don't make a scene about it.
5) it's only by doing that you will learn, so start doing instead of thinking about doing something but being to scared to act........ Make the next move

I guess it just came down in short to what cure said .