im confused ... nid some advice pls

[zeidrich]

a lil help guys..... im really confused with this girl . so here`s the story..


met this girl and chatted for a while , she`s my workmate and she seems interested... starts with little chats , then a lil flirting and stuff and at some point , she wants me to join her with some of her friends to their party but i refused ... <yep my mistake> , thought that it much better if i got her alone... then after that... she become a lil colder.... i still see her everyday ... still but there is a gap



dunno what to do.. the girl has a bestfriend. its a boy. and its pretty hard to get her all alone cause theyre always together but the guy has a wife. i dunno if they have this thing going on but i dont really think too much on that..... dunno what to do next... seems im in a loss cost here.




i do a lot of things but this site and all the stuff here is all new to me... really im newbie..

 

[The Gambler]

a lil help guys..... im really confused with this girl . so here`s the story..

met this girl and chatted for a while , she`s my workmate and she seems interested... starts with little chats , then a lil flirting and stuff and at some point , she wants me to join her with some of her friends to their party but i refused ... <yep my mistake> , thought that it much better if i got her alone... then after that... she become a lil colder.... i still see her everyday ... still but there is a gap

dunno what to do.. the girl has a bestfriend. its a boy. and its pretty hard to get her all alone cause theyre always together but the guy has a wife. i dunno if they have this thing going on but i dont really think too much on that..... dunno what to do next... seems im in a loss cost here.

i do a lot of things but this site and all the stuff here is all new to me... really im newbie..

I personally do not believe one wrong move, answer or statement will cause a girl to lose interest (unless you REALLY mess up). Just keep acting the way you always have around her, and see if she goes "back to normal" in a few days. A girl who has a true interest in you will give you more than just one chance... If not, you probably don't want to walk that kind of tightrope anyway.

The Gambler

 

[Atom Smasher]

Actually, there are a fair number of women out there who will become very offended if she interprets you as rejecting her. She will slam the door on things because of her reactive nature.

 

[alxrose04]

I'm sure you probably already came to this conclusion but she might have taken it negatively when you declined to go to the party but hey, you live and you learn. But all is not lost. This is what I would do. I would friend the male best friend and he'll become you're wing man in the whole thing.

Continue as usual. Talk to her, flirt and keep it going. This is only a minor set back. Be friend the best friend. He'll be your way in.

 

[moneyisking]

.you must have rejected her in a wrong way. it should be in a way that is light and elicits a laugh. i would have went something like "i would love to, but i got to (insert bull shyt here_for ex, go rescue whales in the antartica), and she would go what and laugh right? then you follow up with how you really can't but tell her "well if you really want to hang out with me, we can go to xyz saturday", etc. that is the approach i would have made.

 

[zeidrich]

thanks guys... ill just be myself.. not really into persuing her anyway and its a pain in the ass if ill analyze what theyre thinking anyway ...... to be honest.. the me is the "if you dont talk to me, ill not talk you type" .. seen her yesterday and said hi, she smiled back.. she brought up that invite.. I told her There`s always next time, ill catch up with you next week k? she did say, ill try if im free..


anyway, this is a great site ....

 

[flashpoint]

delete

 

[perseverance]

Actually, there are a fair number of women out there who will become very offended if she interprets you as rejecting her. She will slam the door on things because of her reactive nature.

They're what I call high maintenance and aren't worth dealing with. If I am busy, there is no way I am going to cancel plans, I'm not that kind of man.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I agree.

Here's what happened once to illustrate my point:

A few years ago I was sitting at an outdoor table at a restaurant in a nice little village full of antique stores and boutiques, and close to the waterfront. Our waitress was a cute, friendly young lady probably 20 years my junior. I can get away with this because I appear to be easily 15 years younger than my actual age.

I decided to experiment with body language. My buddy is a fairly naturally attractive guy, so I expected her to fall for him. I spread out my keys and phone, and sat with a very open, wide posture. I distinctly noticed her attraction shift from my buddy to me.

I started telling her about this huge outdoor art center across the river, did my usual blah blah blah verbally painting a beautiful picture of it. Naturally she was expecting me to invite her to go there with me, but I never pulled the trigger. As we paid our bill she suddenly turned ice cold. Next time I was there she was very cold.

Upon leaving I speculated with my friend as to what happened, and he enlightened me that she felt rejected because I didn't ask her to accompany me to the art center. Women simply can't take rejection. It messes with their head severely. I never knew this until that day.

Naturally, some will be more this way than others, but I think it is a general trait that women have. It was a good lesson on many fronts. I learned the power of body language, of painting an enticing verbal landscape, and how girls will slam the door if she feels rejected.

After all, rejection is not normally a part of the little princess' world.

 

[perseverance]

After all, rejection is not normally a part of the little princess' world.

That's their problem and it's not 'rejection' if you're busy, it means you're busy and you can always offer a counter offer for another time, if she rejects that, then she can't have been that interested anyway and if women slam the door shut over something like that, then that would explain why some many women are still single well into their 30's and 40's.

 

[Atom Smasher]

You and I are talking about 2 different things.

 

[perseverance]

It would appear so.

I took the OP's post as he was busy to attend the party, plus he wanted to go out with her alone which I assumed he would have at least made a counter offer.

Either way my point stands. Women who get p!ssy with you because you rejected them aren't worth bothering about. They should get over themselves.

 

[Atom Smasher]

We certainly agree on your premise.

 

[VladPatton]

She could be one of those girls that only likes to be around her friend(s) while she's trying to get to know you. It is annoying as hell always having a c0ckblocker there. It's hard to get them alone and ask them out.

But yeah, she needs to grow up if she got pissy over your initial decline. She has no idea what your world consists of and what you are doing with your time. In fact, I think you didn't do anything to screw anything up, you just showed you are busy and won't drop everything because she wanted you to.