I'm completely lost...

[DJx420]

So heres my situation. I started a thread about 4 weeks ago about finally SEALING THE DEAL with the girl who've I've wanted for 3 years of my life. We go to the same school and hang with the same people, and for the past 3 years we've hooked up randomly (like once or twice a month). No sex, but everything else. This past spring break (about a month ago), we were in Mexico and on the last night she begged me to go back with her to her room and I did. Finally went all the way and it was AMAZING. Since then we've been hooking up and talking pretty regularly which leads me to this thread...

I don't know how I should escalate this. Like I said I've REALLY liked this girl for the past 3 years and am extremely happy to see my persistance finally pay off, however its a delicate situation because her group of girl friends and my group of guy friends hang out ALL THE TIME. On top of that, this has been a HUGE LONG process so I feel like I need to do this slowly and methodically.

With that being said, I don't want to push this too hard on her so I want to "just roll with it" and see where it goes, however I want to help the direction toward becoming something serious.

What do you guys feel is a good plan of action for me to accomplish this. So far I have this: Next time she spends the night, when we wake up in the morning see if she wants to get some breakfast (instant-date), or just hang out for a little.

I know theres definitely a better way to approach this but for whatever reason, I can't figure it out and thats where you guys come in. Thanks in advance!

 

[stayfly]

take her away for a weekend and make it awesome

spending that much time alone together will give you the best idea if both of you want to be in a real relationship together or not

 

[kingsam]

So heres my situation. I started a thread about 4 weeks ago about finally SEALING THE DEAL with the girl who've I've wanted for 3 years of my life. We go to the same school and hang with the same people, and for the past 3 years we've hooked up randomly (like once or twice a month). No sex, but everything else. This past spring break (about a month ago), we were in Mexico and on the last night she begged me to go back with her to her room and I did. Finally went all the way and it was AMAZING. Since then we've been hooking up and talking pretty regularly which leads me to this thread...

I don't know how I should escalate this. Like I said I've REALLY liked this girl for the past 3 years and am extremely happy to see my persistance finally pay off, however its a delicate situation because her group of girl friends and my group of guy friends hang out ALL THE TIME. On top of that, this has been a HUGE LONG process so I feel like I need to do this slowly and methodically.

With that being said, I don't want to push this too hard on her so I want to "just roll with it" and see where it goes, however I want to help the direction toward becoming something serious.

What do you guys feel is a good plan of action for me to accomplish this. So far I have this: Next time she spends the night, when we wake up in the morning see if she wants to get some breakfast (instant-date), or just hang out for a little.

I know theres definitely a better way to approach this but for whatever reason, I can't figure it out and thats where you guys come in. Thanks in advance!

ONitis for three years?? im really hoping that you have been seeing other women in this time (even open to serious wiht these other woman), and just forgot to mention it...
i guessing you mean "hooking up ever since" as "having sex ever since"?
so you wer ein the "makeout zone" for about 3 years but you were never good enougth for a RL/anything aerious, and you have just progressed to FVck buddy...
you persistance hasnt paid off yet, because you wanta RL wiht this girl and you dont have it yet!

id say your an object of sexual convenience for her, most likely i bet when she finds a new guy she likes "properly" and 'really digs' you be dropped for him...
you have a chance, but its slim - one question to think about is why are you suddenly good enough for her now instead of when you met 3 yrs ago or even 2 or 1 year ago???

 

[EFFORT]

So heres my situation. I started a thread about 4 weeks ago about finally SEALING THE DEAL with the girl who've I've wanted for 3 years of my life. We go to the same school and hang with the same people, and for the past 3 years we've hooked up randomly (like once or twice a month). No sex, but everything else. This past spring break (about a month ago), we were in Mexico and on the last night she begged me to go back with her to her room and I did. Finally went all the way and it was AMAZING. Since then we've been hooking up and talking pretty regularly which leads me to this thread...

I don't know how I should escalate this. Like I said I've REALLY liked this girl for the past 3 years and am extremely happy to see my persistance finally pay off, however its a delicate situation because her group of girl friends and my group of guy friends hang out ALL THE TIME. On top of that, this has been a HUGE LONG process so I feel like I need to do this slowly and methodically.

With that being said, I don't want to push this too hard on her so I want to "just roll with it" and see where it goes, however I want to help the direction toward becoming something serious.

What do you guys feel is a good plan of action for me to accomplish this. So far I have this: Next time she spends the night, when we wake up in the morning see if she wants to get some breakfast (instant-date), or just hang out for a little.

I know theres definitely a better way to approach this but for whatever reason, I can't figure it out and thats where you guys come in. Thanks in advance!

Don't ask her about trying to be serious/having a relationship, you'll most likely blow yourself out. Asking "how" do you take things more serious indicates the your not in a position to be in relationship. She should be the one pushing you to be in the relationship with her not the other way around. Your also putting way to much importance on this which will sabotage you as well. Enjoy the time you have with her, but also do some more approaches even to just get blown out, to keep yourself sharp and less needy.

 

[starplayer]

Just fvck her. Seriously, just have fun with this one.

If a relationship comes from this, SHE has to be the one to want it. SHE has to be the one trying to get YOU to commit to a relationship because she sees YOU as the prize. A woman wants to catch a guy and get him to commit.

NEVER try to get a girl into a relationship. For a relationship to happen it must be pushed by her - and then if she's REALLY lucky you agree.

Remember, a man who gets into a relationship too easily is seen in much the same way as a woman who gets into bed too easily - low value and worthless.

If you get into a relationship with a girl make sure she is the best of MANY options, not your ONLY option. Go into a relationship from a place of strength, not desperation.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

take her away for a weekend and make it awesome

spending that much time alone together will give you the best idea if both of you want to be in a real relationship together or not

Jesus. What are you, a 55 year old soccer mom?

My advice is to continue to be the guy who she was attracted to in the first place. Don't become too emotional or too available. You cannot ask a women to be in a relationship with you. It never works like that. She needs perceive YOU as being the catch, and her as the one who is chasing you.

The only thing you can do to escalate her feelings towards you is to continue being awesome. Don't turn into some lame character from a romantic movie. Be a man. She wants that. No matter how lovey-dovey she gets. Trust me...she wants a MAN. Not a teddy bear. If that means you don't talk to her everyday. If that means you occasionally have to put her in her place. She wants it that way. Even if she verbally says otherwise...she instinctively wants it that way.

 

[drak_ool]

First question to ask yourself: what was SHE up to in those 3 years? Who was she seeing? If she is a hot girl, I doubt she was not getting any action. Maybe she had a bf, who she broke up with, and now you're the rebound guy. I don't know what it is, I'm just saying you need to find out.

Second: if you want a LTR and she just wants a fvck buddy, it's not gonna work out. Remember, the power in a relationship is in the hands of the person who is most ready to walk away. So you gotta act casual about it until she is ready to commit and she brings up the topic first. Otherwise, you've lost before it even started...

 

[DJx420]

Hey guys, thanks for all the reponses they are definitely helping. Sorry I didn't explain myself to the fullest.. I'll try to do that now.

Over the past 3 years I DID NOT HAVE ONEITIS. I accepted the fact that we felt differently about each other and I was definitely seeing other women, just always knew deep down that I wanted to be with this girl. As to why I'm "good enough" for her to fvck now, thats a question I've been asking myself since it finally happened. The only answer I can come up with is this: Were seniors in college. After 3 years of this, we both had to be wondering if we'd be good in bed together...So SHE pushed for it in Mexico and like I said it was AMAZING. It was intense, lasted a long time, and we both agreed that it surpassed both our expectations.

We got back here to school and I could tell that those feelings carried over. Yes Ive been texting her every now and then to see if she wants to come over (mostly when were drunk), and for the most part she has been. Shes also been texting me to see if she can come over etc...

So I think were both feeling pretty much the same.

I do know not to push this into a real relationship right now, which is why I kind of want to "lead her" into her pushing me into it. To be completely honest, I'd be MORE than happy if this just turned into a Fvck buddy situation, but I'd be MUCH happier if it went somewhere else.

Once again thanks for the help!

 

[Donnie Darko]

You have been a regular hookup with a girl for 3 years without fvcking her until spring break of your senior year in college. I think the fact that you are seniors in college preparing to graduate is key information. I've seen it happen all the time during the last year of college. Girls decide to have flings with the guys they always wondered about before they graduate and move on to the real world. In these types of situations I would recommend just keep enjoying her as a fvck buddy and don't expect a LTR from her.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Smoke more weed. All your questions will be answered.

 

[Chromeo]

),

I do know not to push this into a real relationship right now, which is why I kind of want to "lead her" into her pushing me into it. To be completely honest, I'd be MORE than happy if this just turned into a Fvck buddy situation, but I'd be MUCH happier if it went somewhere else.

Once again thanks for the help!

this is pretty much where I'm lost too, I can't lead that girl I want into a relationship. Or is that the whole problem in itself? Men should not want to pursue any woman until the treat him to the T and beg to be his...? There's a few girls I would have had liked to have record of being my gf tho..

 

[falconslax89]

:yes: :yes: :yes:

Smoke more weed. All your questions will be answered.