Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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[im being a whiny *****, i know] could use some help with a few life issues...

Big Eee Zee

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Hey guys, whatup. Havent been around here in a while. Anyways, lots been going on, but i've had a problem lately that is starting to really frustrate me.

been dating this girl for a while. About a year now. Shes lots of fun, smart, and pretty good looking. We used to have the most incredible sex ever. Like, we'd have sex on and off until 7 in the morning. It was amazing. However, recently my life has been a lot...****tier. school is difficult, my cars are constantly breaking, my old motorcycle has been waiting to be finished for like 3 months (i HATE it when I cant ride) and I dont have time to fix any of that. Also, my mom is dying of cancer, but its like eating her brain so she is slowly going crazy too...its prolly the most difficult thing i've ever dealt with and she realistically has a month or two left.

im not looking for pity, trust me i've gotten pretty good at dealing with this ****. but lately I think its been affecting my relationship. I just...dont want sex all that much. i havent been giving my g/f what she needs. we will have sex for like 10, maybe 15 minutes. if I dont finish early, i'll just lose it half way through. And, that makes me anxious and frustrated, which further compounds my problem. I shouldnt be dealing with this at 21...sigh.

My woman has been understanding, and keeps saying that she loves me and will work through this with me. I love her for that, and I trust her, but theres only so much of this she (or anyone) could take. If I lost her i'd be alright, but I dont wanna lose a relationship over something like this.

I also cant just wait until I'm less stressed with my life. Im gonna be eating better, no more porn (duh) and im gonna be starting an intense workout routine. Anyone have ANY ideas on this?

Sorry to sound like a whiny *****, but honestly my life has been pretty rough the last few months...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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SharinganUser

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Sorry to hear about all that. You have my deepest condolences. I can't imagine what you must be going through.

The only thing I can say is that if you keep things moving forward, they will get better in time.
 

Warrior74

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My condolences as well.

Nah man. Your not being a whiney bytch. Your dealing with real life situations that you just change shrug off. The mind and body are connected, you have some things to deal with and its affecting you. It sounds like you have a good plan to deal with it. You should also think about seeing a counselor or therapist to help you work through this. Good luck bro.
 

shinko

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im sorry to hear that man. it comes across like your a mature and strong individual, keep your head up dude. we'll offer you as much as support as we can.
dont stress the sex thing, your not a machine. your going to be less focused about sex given the situation its more than understandable and most importantly your girl understands this too.
As for advice, your suggestions sound on point, i'd add drinking alot of water to the proceedings and stay away from alcohol or drugs no matter tempting they may (or may not) be. Give yourself some small target to aim for each day too, to help you keep on track with your goals etc. If you have any theraputic hobbies, ya know like the ones that help you relax i recon that would help you aswell. Further, it might be a no brainer, but allow yourself 'me time' aswell just so you have some space to process everything. Finally if you feels its relevant pray aswell, its always helped me in the past.
Wish you all best man.
 
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