I'm back!

[I-am-someone]

Hi guys... I'm back!

I've just been in an 8 month relationship, living together, sharing everything etc.
I made thousands of classic mistakes and I ended up getting hurt really bad.
The story of our breakup is pretty complex, but it basically comes down to this:
She went to Amsterdam for work, lived in a hotel there. In that hotel, she met a lot of people I had never met.
One night, she comes home and tells me she was kissed by another girl and she kissed her back, and then pushed her away. I felt right away from that very point that she wasn't telling the whole truth. She told me she wasn't gay or anything, but I know she's got a bisexual side to her.
A week later, she's managed to get that girl to come work at the same company as where she worked. The girl actually sits in front of her, so they see eachother all the time.
A few days after that, she tells me that girl is going to buy a house in Amsterdam, and she's considering renting the upper floor if that house.
This is all making me very paranoid, because I don't know what the hell is going on here. She's not telling me anything and I just keep on getting more paranoid about the whole situation.
Last week, I told her that I saw this relation wasn't going anywhere anymore, and I broke up with her.

Now, I'm back to square one. My room is one big mess. I have hardly any friends left (all my really close friends moved to other parts of this country at one time or another, and the friends I still had, I neglected).
I'm aware that I made so many mistakes during this relationship... but through mistakes you learn.

Now, I'm back here to get my game back. I've still got plenty of game, but I could definitely use some support to get my (sex)life rolling again.

 

[I-am-someone]

This is fairly strange. My game has gone up. I finally moved on last week, got my head off of her... then I saw her again this weekend. We spend time together, watch TV... but we never talk. And somehow, I feel attracted to her again.

Now, I got home at 11 today, and went straight to the room of another girl I know in this house (Not my type). Talked to her for a bit, because I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep for another few hours and would get bored... then suddenly she tells me that my ex-girlfriend is home again, and is going to be home for the entire next week.

My girlfriend had just stopped calling me for the first time since we broke up, today. I thought she was still in Amsterdam and was probably just having a good time there, but apparently she decided to call in sick for the rest of the week and came back home.
She's been drinking large quantities every night since we broke up, while in the hotel. I've also been drinking quite a bit myself to get my mind off of things. Now... fvck, what do I do?

I'm left clueless yet again. My mind is telling me that this isn't going to work. It won't work as long as she works in Amsterdam.
It won't work because of the things she's said, the things I've said and the things we both know.
I'm too young to get involved in such a relationship, I need more freedom.

But for fvck's sake, why do I miss her companionship over all the other women I meet? And why doesn't she want to let me go? How hurtful do I have to be to get this over? And how much should I rely on my head instead of my heart?

For those who hadn't noticed... this is a cry for help to follow the path of the DJ.. In this, I would very much appreciate your view of how a DJ would handle this.

 

[Macgyver]

Cut all contact with her.

 

[I-am-someone]

We live in the same house... even if I did get another place to move to this very moment, I would still have to wait two months. Not currently an option.

 

[Socialreject]

A while ago i read something quite disturbing. You shouldn't take this as a fact, just maybe an insight to help you get your head sorted... anyways here it is...

I read that when you ar ein an exclusive relationship with a person for a sertain amount of time you will actually build up a physical addiction to them... like their scent (feromones?!) and things like that.

So when you break the relationship you get withdrawels like you would going cold turkey on any drug...

Like i said, don't take this as a fact, it's just hearsay, but it might help you if you think of this phase you are going through as you body playing tricks on you while in your mind you know it can't work.