"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I'm asking for help

Skapride95327

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Hello everyone,
I have been on and off, mostly off, of this forum for quite some time now. I am a massive introvert in general. Honestly, i cant even talk to people at all. I have some kind of block, it feels like i physically cant speak. And when i do, i tend to regret what i said. I want to be able to talk to women, to have a chance at all. How do i get more confident? I cant even talk to other men
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Plinco

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1.) Practice
2.) Get healthier, particularly raise testosterone levels
3.) Do a lot of writing down of your own thoughts and get to the essence of your own psychology, then specify your fear, then face that fear.
 

FairShake

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It pays to know about things that guys talk about like women, sports, money etc.
 

Skapride95327

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1.) Practice
2.) Get healthier, particularly raise testosterone levels
3.) Do a lot of writing down of your own thoughts and get to the essence of your own psychology, then specify your fear, then face that fear.
Sorry, but can you spell number 3 out a little more? Im kinda dense
 

Modern Man Advice

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Hello everyone,
I have been on and off, mostly off, of this forum for quite some time now. I am a massive introvert in general. Honestly, i cant even talk to people at all. I have some kind of block, it feels like i physically cant speak. And when i do, i tend to regret what i said. I want to be able to talk to women, to have a chance at all. How do i get more confident? I cant even talk to other men
You are putting people on a pedestal. Realize that everyone around you has flaws, fears, dreams, hopes, goals, insecurities, etc, etc just like you.

Finally, get a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie


Modern Man Advice
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Kotaix

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Do you overthink absolutely everything? I would hazard a guess that this is true if you regret what you say.

Get a job where you're forced to talk to people. Being a massive introvert is no excuse, the VP of our division is about as far introverted on the scale as you get, and everyone in our division was shocked to find this out because he comes across as extroverted.

Most of all, stop fearing failure and what other people think about you or you won't make progress.
 

Plinco

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Sorry, but can you spell number 3 out a little more? Im kinda dense
Ask yourself questions regarding your issue. Write the questions and answers you give down and read the answers back to yourself.

Specify. What do you mean you have a 'block' when talking to someone?
 

Blacksheep

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Hello everyone,
I have been on and off, mostly off, of this forum for quite some time now. I am a massive introvert in general. Honestly, i cant even talk to people at all. I have some kind of block, it feels like i physically cant speak. And when i do, i tend to regret what i said. I want to be able to talk to women, to have a chance at all. How do i get more confident? I cant even talk to other men
I would suggest starting dealing with that guilt you feel for what youve said. This is very important.

Also, to address and change that a good therapist can help a lot man.

I used to feel that thing from what I said to people... With time and awareness you can shift that.
 

Skapride95327

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Ask yourself questions regarding your issue. Write the questions and answers you give down and read the answers back to yourself.

Specify. What do you mean you have a 'block' when talking to someone?
Thank you everyone, im working on it. Yes, i do tend to overthink everything. I have a job at a Grocery Store already, i have no problem talking at work, its just in any other situation i have issues. The "block" im refering to means it seems like i literally cant get the words out. And when i do, its quiet and no one hears me
 

Plinco

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Thank you everyone, im working on it. Yes, i do tend to overthink everything. I have a job at a Grocery Store already, i have no problem talking at work, its just in any other situation i have issues. The "block" im refering to means it seems like i literally cant get the words out. And when i do, its quiet and no one hears me
Well I don't know for sure, but I'd speculate that you lack self-respect.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

jaygreenb

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Hello everyone,
I have been on and off, mostly off, of this forum for quite some time now. I am a massive introvert in general. Honestly, i cant even talk to people at all. I have some kind of block, it feels like i physically cant speak. And when i do, i tend to regret what i said. I want to be able to talk to women, to have a chance at all. How do i get more confident? I cant even talk to other men
Commit yourself to lifting heavy weights and getting more muscular, does wonders for confidence, well being and anxiety. Practice making small talk when you are going about life, just try and talk to people and interact, not just girls you are interested in. Commit yourself to self improvement in Health, Financial and Mental. You would be surprised how much it adds up over time.
 

Plinco

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Yes, I would imagine i do. I dont really know how to make that better either.
Two things that come to mind right away:
1.) If you know what you want in life, then work hard toward those goals and you'll start feeling better
2.) Get away from your current friends circle and family if you have to. You probably have negative influences that you need to identify and get rid of.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Children who are not socialized by the age of 2 are doomed to a life of social isolation in most cases, it's a very important thing and that's gets overlooked especially when everyone was quarantined or if they are in the future, makes parenting a much bigger challenge.

With that being said, you have to take account of what you can control, so start somewhere, you don't really need direction as much as you just need to start. Anything. Start anything, go join a league, learn a martial art... You have to start!
 

Skapride95327

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Thank you so much everyone. Im trying to just make small comments and "how are you" to a few people a day. Im not always getting a reply, but its a start i guess. And i started lifting weights at the gym today, i already feel a little better
 

Plinco

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Thank you so much everyone. Im trying to just make small comments and "how are you" to a few people a day. Im not always getting a reply, but its a start i guess. And i started lifting weights at the gym today, i already feel a little better
I think the testosterone increase will help you a little bit.

If you have any more questions you know where to come back.
 
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