I'm an AFC, but going at it again.

[I'm in the Mood]

Hey everyone, I haven't been around here for a long time.
I gave up on being the man and getting girls because I thought I just couldn't do it.

Well I'll just make this story short -
I signed up for jazz band at my school and I met this amazing girl who played piano with me. I got in a little kino, but the bad part is I was very quiet most of the time, and I didn't say bye because she walked away before I had the chance to.

The good part was that I made her laugh a few times and I don't think I seemed retarded and creepy like I usually do. I'm good at making people laugh, like when I'm in my comfort zone I can really have a good time with people.

I'm getting this feeling all over me again though. Can't get her outta my mind right now, even though shes a year under me, sophomore, and she looks like she might have a bf... I really wanna get to kow this girl because she got my full attention in just a few minutes.

What I'm asking for help with is strategies to become more comfortable with myself, ways to protray myself as a more interesting person, for example being able to hold a really good conversation with anybody and making them have a good time, and finally and pretty importantly, I need some strategies I can use to attract a girl.

I think most people can't really help themselves when they truly have oneitis, but if I can use this opportunity to possibly score with this girl and help me in the future.

It's about time I really accomplished something, and I seriously need help to portray myself and my personality as a confident and attractive man.
I need to change myself but I need help to do it, because I have a very difficult time analyzing myself and my capabilities.

Thank you for reading.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

bump...seriously can anyone help?
I've been a complete failure in the past..I have to admit, I'm really bad with girls.

 

[It's-Me]

The good part was that I made her laugh a few times and I don't think I seemed retarded and creepy like I usually do.

I know that feeling...

I think most people can't really help themselves when they truly have oneitis

It's a hard topic to cover. I think it's based on the person - there's some guys that have a oneitis to all the woman. I believe you have a REAL oneitis when you have the choice between maybe women...

It's about time I really accomplished something, and I seriously need help to portray myself and my personality as a confident and attractive man.
I need to change myself but I need help to do it, because I have a very difficult time analyzing myself and my capabilities.

Damn right!

Socialize my friend, talk to women. Take the bus back from school instead. Put yourself in situations where you can meet women. Grow some balls, try some thing... The key rule is to have fun while doing it!

It takes time and rejection before you get really skilled - like everything else you do.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

yea u raise some real good points.
I think my biggest problem with girls tho is attraction; and from today I know that if I ever get a gf that I seriously like I'll have tons and tons of confidence.

the one girl in particular that I'm interested gave me enough confidence for the rest of the day, even afterschool just from one conversation.

the strange thing is that I've never talked to a girl ever for that long walking in the hallways in school and actually kept the conversation going, even though this was only like 2 or 3 minutes.

I'm ready to take this to the next level though, what are some tips on attraction and making girls really sense your presence, without driving them away?

 

[It's-Me]

Touching definitely makes them feel your presence. Teasing (you have so much fun with this ) and flirting are also great ways.

Take the lead in the conversation. Talk about anything... honestly, just make interesting. Ask a question like "What did you do this weekend?" and get her talking. She will probably give you a million subjects to talk about and just go for one them.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Well you have to realize two things:
1. I don't have much experience having friends/being social
2. I have a constant record of failure with girls (but I MUST change this)

The main problem here is that I don't know how to escalate, from friends to something more. I'm confident my personality can take care of itself though.

Here's a question, how do you define teasing and how do you define flirting?
I'm pretty sure they're different in a lot of ways.

 

[It's-Me]

I'm sure you have a friend who talks to girls a lot... Hang out with him - There's a guy like that in any school.

There's many ways to tease a girl. I love immiting her, exagerating what she says, misinterpreting what she says (something sexual usually) and being sarcastic. Of course, there's many more ways.

Flirting is more like role playing and that type of stuff - I pretended I knew how to read the lines in palm and told her she was a bad kisser

Sent from my iPod.

 

[ExcelNPrevail]

Just go for it man, pretty soon High School is gonna be over with. Enjoy it while you can. Man I was sarging women like crazy, my senior year because thats when i found this site. Just do it. Get your feet wet. I will admit it was F****in scary man. But you have to do it. I cant go through the computer and teach you. You have to fall and crash and burn sometimes. but it will all be worth it.Trust me on that.

Oh and dont stay on one girl. Thats how you develope oneitis. try to spin more plates(women). Since your newly starting this again i suggest you spin about 2 or 3 plates. Good luck bro.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Well now that I think about it, I don't really know how to tease or flirt.. is there anything in the bible that I should read?

 

[ElStud]

Well first of all dude, good job on making Jazz Band. Jazz is awesome dude. I played bass in my HS Jazz Band for 2 years(Unfortunately, college jazz band is a lot harder to get into). And yeah, off the bat you have a lot of bad believes. What? A girl is good looking so she has a boyfriend? Haha, nah. And besides, the boyfriend shouldn't really be relavent to you.

Let me tell you a story about an RSD guy named Tim. So he was in the club, says "Hi my name is Tim" to a girl with a BF, girl ignores him so him and Tyler are like whatever. Girl comes back, taps him on the shoulder and says "Sorry I didn't talk to you earlier, I had to get rid of my boyfriend". Now why the "Hi my name is Tim" was all he had to say, was because his subcommunication and overall mindset was great, but this is proof that if you REALLY want a girl with a boyfriend, you can do it.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Yeah Jazz band is the sht!

One problem I have tho is, let's say I were Tim, now this is simple: the girl just won't come back. I think I'm not attractive enough to do that and I think I don't give off the vibes that a real man would towards other girls.

Ok so I don't know if she has a boyfriend or not, I've only seen her with girls. Matter of fact, I've only talked to her twice, the first time being over an hour and a half of jazz band rehersal.
This girl is clearly on another level though, it's kinda like she acts superior over me sometimes..which is strange, but maybe shes just a sincere person.

Lastly, ElStud, do you have any ideas how I could get some kino into piano playing?

It's funny cuz theres only one piano at my HS but us two both play on it, at the same time. And we're up really close to each other because the piano isn't that big.

I know it's a bit loserish to ask, but if anybody has any ideas to add some kino to this, I'd be more than glad to hear them out.

 

[It's-Me]

Well now that I think about it, I don't really know how to tease or flirt.. is there anything in the bible that I should read?

Really? So your saying you don't know how to be sarcastic and exaggerate what girls say or turn into something sexual...

If she says something like "I'm so full right now, I can't put another thing in my mouth", you could reply with "I hope you don't really mean that" with a ****y smile . Or if she says like "My hair is awful this morning" and you reply with like "I didn't want to say anything, but...".

If she does something stupid, imitate her. If she walks funny, call her on it or you can imitate her walk. It's so easy!

Flirting is a bit harder, but kino is definitely good flirting.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Yeah I'm new to all of this.
My background: I've failed with 5 girls so far, and was called weird and creepy.

One problem is that my imagination has been held back for way too long..I haven't liked a girl since about two years ago until last monday.

This girl actually approached me though, she was like "i can't believe i don't know anybody here," and asked me my name and what I played.
So far I've been pretty shy and vague which is really bad and I should try to convey my personality more. The good news is that I've made her smile or laugh multiple times.

I guess I'm nervous about my personality being rejected from my usually awkward style.

To make it clearer, when I say and do things, they come out differently than I want them to come out.

Also a big issue is that I'm not that great at generating attraction, and I should probably make another thread about that later.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

OK I found out she does have a boyfriend.
This usually depresses me alot if i have to next or am rejected. This time not so much.

I saw her with a guy on her facebook profile picture, and I'm pretty sure that must be her bf.

I'm afraid though, of losing this opportunity. When I was talking to her yesterday I thought there was a large possibility.

My plan now is not to obsess, but to create attraction. And something very important:

I have no idea what to do.

This site hasn't really helped me with a specific plan of action yet, but please keep giving me advice so I can make one.