I'm always miserable...

[MrConfidence]

Gah, I suck, perfect oppurtunity afterschool to approach Marissa, but I didn't do it. She was literally walking right next to me, and I didn't say a word, glanced, but didn't say a word. If I only knew what to say in this damned situation, I mean really, if I wasn't so afraid of being rejected by her I would've seriously done it.

 

[WesCottII]

Oh grow a pair. The only time you should say "no" is if you're either going to die, or be seriously injured.

Reccommended reading : Secrets of the alpha male - Carlos Xuma.

 

[MrConfidence]

Oh grow a pair. The only time you should say "no" is if you're either going to die, or be seriously injured.

Reccommended reading : Secrets of the alpha male - Carlos Xuma.

Most likely if I said something to her it would of just been that typical "Hey, how's it going?" Bullcrap and we wouldn't of gone anywhere. The problem was is that I just didn't know what to talk about. I'll check that book out though.

 

[GaryUranga]

man, you can literally say anything, you can juststart moaning right next to her, seriously I like beng a bit unusual sometimes, you could just started telling her a funny story right there on the spot, you coulda said "sup gangsta?" you coulda been OVERLY serious in a way that she catches up with it and know that youre joking, you coulda tapped her on the shoulder and pretend you didnt do it, you coulda pulled her right towards you and say "DID YOU SSE THAT?! I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE" .. so many things I can think of

 

[MrConfidence]

I just wish that when I'm in the moment I knew what to say. She's holding a cell phone checking something, puts it away, then keeps walking; if only I had the mind to think up that stuff on the spot like you guys. I've just got to stop caring whether she rejects me or not.

 

[GaryUranga]

haha dont get me wrong I have a hard time thinking theese things on the spot as I get more relaxed its easy, you just gotta build this mindset that youre gonna have fun, not like its a challenge, as you progress towards that youll be more relaxed and with experience youll soon be good, take a break to work on yourself, that is the most abstract part of this, all the self help, I was like you, I didnt talk to anyone, I just did my thing at school then left only did the forced social stuff and I got tense around people in general, been doing the self help for like 1.5 years now,the stuff DOES kick in after a while, suddenly Im realaxed talking in groups, making jokes and getting social proof, I got really close with a girl, my confidence just goes on and on after a while.

All that just because I think better of myself, I got rid of all the BS I was telling myself "I cant do X" "Why would X like me?" when Istarted telling myself that the opposite would happen and that it was all good it felt FAKE, why would I le to myself? Im clearly a disgusting person one of theese things are true, well.. guess what youve been lying to yourself when you just pick the negative out of things, its all an illusion youve created for yourself and sadly it makes you act a certain way, no one wants to be around negative people, take it slow, dont try to run before you can walk, it will feel fake when you start getting rid of the negative stuff and chaning it for positive stuff just keep doing it, and youll suddenly get this feeling that when you say to yourself "Im confident" it wont feel fake anymore and so on, with bigger and bigger things, its just a defense mechanism, you get nervous cause you think youll get hurt from talking to a girl, which doesnt make sense.. but yeah it feels like its true because thats the outcome youre expecting, change that, that is the first step, when you change that youll be ready for everything else.

Trust me, I had something called social anxiety where Id just get nervous talking to anyone or having attention on me, its now all gone because I cahnged the way I thought.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

If you're afraid of her rejecting you, think of how much she'll be rejecting you if you don't even try.
You can definately do this, I think I'm close to your position right now... Every day I feel like **** when I come home because I usually haven't said 1 word to anyone at all.. But I've had enough of that, and I've managed to say hi to a few girls that I know, and even say a couple words to someone I really liked.
If you really doubt yourself thinking forward to the upcoming situation, try thinking of it in a different way. Play it cool, and say hi to her when you have your chance, then follow it by "whats up?" or "hows your day going?" while shes talking, keep adding to the conversation. Talk about your day and whats going on with you, and then she'll respond to you and you can just keep adding. And it doesn't even have to be a long conversation, mine usually only last for 10-30 seconds, just say "cya later" when you're done.
I know for a fact that she won't care if you're not that good at talking, just put in some effort. If you are afraid of her rejecting you, think of how you'll be rejecting yourself by not moving forward and making an effort to accomplish your goals. She'll notice how you've changed and started trying to make friends with her, and she will respect that by talking back.

 

[supajsilver2]

Eh, add me on AIM if you wanna talk whenever...controlling emotions is something I have to do on a regular basis (and do very well )

 

[Vincent]

Viper, I think you're one of the only persons that after coming to sosuave their life has been more miserable and depressing.

You should get an award or something.

 

[adpreston1988]

Anybody know a way to setup meetings w/ a psychiatrist w/ out your parents knowing?

 

[bigw]

You should tell your parents your problems....why would you set it up without them knowing?

 

[adpreston1988]

I don't know. I don't have a serious problem w/ depression or anything. But both my Dad and Uncle had/have it in college and sometimes it definitely is bothersome. I always feel like something is missing in my life, no matter what's happening. An empty feeling inside. But my parents always freak out and over-react whenever I mention I'm feeling a little down. I mean I went into a health kick this year (lost 10-15 pounds) and now my Mom thinks I'm ****in' anoerexic. That's why I kind of want to avoid telling them I'm going to a school psychologist/psychiatrist. Do most colleges have free visits w/ them?

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

I've found psychiatrists to be really annoying.. make sure you find a good one for yourself.
Also remember from the bible: rejection is better then regret, and I'm sure you know the feeling =\
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sorry I got confused with people... lol