Im affraid Im losing my jerk.

[xomel]

This is a rant/question.

Rant=ON

Everytime I get my self into a relationship, I feel like I'm going to lose my jerk. After a three week relationship I couldnt find my jerk for two weeks. Now I have to really really think when I want to be a jerk. It just never comes to me like it did before I was in the relationship. It's like no longer natural, is that what being in love is? Im affraid that if I break up with my current LTR that I wont get my jerk back for several months. I think it goes along with one-itis and getting over her.

It's really weird, from my experience, getting a girl and keeping a girl are totally different things. To get a girl you must be the catch and lay down neghits and C&F. Now its like to keep a girl/to get sex from a relationship you have to be sweet and nice and have them feel totally comfertable with you. Tell them everything about you. Become eachother's new best friends. Become an AFC, write them notes, give them candy, give them teddys.

Im not sure If I have the right understanding or if this is true. Does anyone else know what I mean? Does anyone else have the concern of losing thier jerk? Has anyone been here before?

Rant=OFF

Thanks,
Matt

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

i have never been in a very long relationship before, but it seems to me that although you can and should ease up a little, you should not start doing afc things like calling her all the time and letting her get her way with stuff and walk all over you, you still have to be the man, you just do not need to tease her and do not need to play hard to get.

P.S these are my thoughts if some 1 with more experince with this would give there veiws that would not be a bad idea!

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

I see what you mean- it is alot easier to get a girl then hold on to her. You gotta change yoru approach..I'm in a similar situation right now- so easy to be a jerk at first then boom it goes away ya start getting a little AFC- I think though sometimes you should just step back and still go with your gut. It'll come naturally if you don't hold it in.

 

[Jason17]

I understand what you mean about being a jerk and all. But, I wouldn't suggest becoming an AFC once you get to know her. Why would being ****y and funny suddenly become wrong just because you know her? Are you saying that at some point all of a sudden one of the things that made her attracted to you in the first place, would all of a sudden make her unattracted to you? If she wanted an AFC in the first place she would have went for an AFC in the first place. Once you get into a long term relationship I don't think there's anything wrong with doing something romantic (like giving her flowers etc.) but I don't think you should do it all the time. And if you want to keep some of your jerk in a LTR (which i recommend) than just look for something about her that you can use to tease her, and play hard to get.

 

[Supero Masculus]

No no no! All wrong! You don't "tone it down" after you get with her. Why? Simple, because she's attracted to you because of your "jerk"!!!! KA-DUH!!!!! It's like a movie. Lets say that the intro was all, 'bam slam and explosive!' and your sucked into it. Would you want it to "tone down"!? Of course not!!! Would you want a hot girl freind to think, "i got him, i don't need to try anymore." and stops bothering to do her hair/make-up ect!? No you wouldn't!!!! Some one said, "stop teasing her and playing hard to get." Sir, if i saw you in real life and you said that, i would b*tch slap you!!!!! Guess why your girl like you in the first place? Cause you played hard to get and teased her!!! aka messed with her and made YOU the CHALLENGE!!!! And if you where to stop teasing her and playing hard to get, she would start WANTING it again and she would seek it in some one else. And that means not you! SO NEVER STOP BEING A CHALLENGE!!!!!

 

[Cloud-uk]

You screw up a marriage if you stop dating your wife. Take from that what you will.

 

[LikRetsam]

You're changing attitude due to preconceptions (flawed for that matter). Before and after are not two different times. I will not go running after the ladies trying to impress them to get a relationship and then 'settle down'. You do not change for a lady.

I think you just don't like being a jerk anymore. It's too hardcore for you. It's an ego protection.

Based on our conversations... not this thread.

 

[Balanced]

you don't need to be a jerk. Be playful in a relationship but don't get walked all over.

 

[Nex]

LOL

Does the jerk know you've got someone else?

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

When you're in a committed relationship, you shouldn't need to jerk as much.