I'm a total fool

[Energizer]

I thought I had conquered my AFC behaviour, but it appears to have arisen again. To cut to the chase, I fancy this woman. Well tonight, I came into the store she works in, I bumped into her and we exchanged the usual "hello", "how are you" chit chat and then as the conversation was drawing on, I decide to give her my number on a piece of paper (I always keep my digits down on a bit of paper as I cannot remember my number) and I just handed it to her and said bye.

I got out of the shop and slapped my head as it sunk it what I had done. I had done something only a complete fool would do and I am ready for any abuse that shall come my way. :crackup:

I don't even think she opened it or anything and I doubt she will call and it seems I am only AFCish around this particular woman. It's completely screwed up and I will let this one lie, but I need advice how to handle this situation better if it arises again.

 

[zekko]

To cut to the chase, I fancy this woman..

See, there's your first mistake. It seems like as soon as you develop feelings for a woman, it's over right there, unless she has already developed feelings for you.

 

[Energizer]

See, there's your first mistake. It seems like as soon as you develop feelings for a woman, it's over right there, unless she has already developed feelings for you.

So I am not allowed to fancy a woman?

I see what you are saying and she did fancy me, whether or not she does now is not something I can answer, but I want to know why I am able to hook up with any other woman and not this one. It's like I am chasing something I cannot catch and it's irritating. :nono:

 

[slaog]

Relax and lighten up. You're being hard on yourself. Nobody is going to go from an AFC into a DJ overnight. There'll be plenty of mistakes along the way but you'll get there eventually. See it all as a learning curve.


You're putting this woman on a pedestal. Thats the quickest way to kill any attraction she has for you. You be the prize when interacting with her. Treat her like the little girl she is and if you are a man you won't put the little girl on a pedestal.

 

[Zebedee]

fancying someone and developing feelings are not the same thing at all

 

[Energizer]

Relax and lighten up. You're being hard on yourself. Nobody is going to go from an AFC into a DJ overnight. There'll be plenty of mistakes along the way but you'll get there eventually. See it all as a learning curve.


You're putting this woman on a pedestal. Thats the quickest way to kill any attraction she has for you. You be the prize when interacting with her. Treat her like the little girl she is and if you are a man you won't put the little girl on a pedestal.

I know I am putting this woman on a pedestal, I don't usually do this, it's strange.

It is interesting that I should be the prize, I read about this in another thread, it sounds like something I should aspiring too.

Cheers for the advice mate, I am composed about the situation. I acted on impluse and it went horribly wrong, I guess I shouldn't act upon impluse in future.

 

[Energizer]

fancying someone and developing feelings are not the same thing at all

I don't have feelings for her, I don't know her well enough, but I would like to go on a date and get to know her so it were. It's just I never manage to catch her out of her workplace and I know that if I were to bump into her in a club or out anywhere else that wasn't her workplace, I'd be more composed to approach her. (Excuses...Excuses).

 

[Joe Stud]

I have done the same thing. if I really like a chick, sometimes the added pressure makes me say goofy things. Stop beating yourself up (title of this thread), and be the manly man that you are inside. Remember everyone screws up... it's the real winners who shake it off and recover from it well. Be cool & mysterious. And next time you go in the store, smile, and look & smell great. Smell is a sense that can be a secret weapon. Everyone concentrates on LOOKING good, and kino (TOUCHING). I have had women ask me what I am wearing, and then bring their boyfriend or husband over, and say "honey, this is how I want you to smell". LOL

 

[Joe Stud]

Here's another secret weapon LOL: When I go see one of my plates / or a chick I am workin on at her place of employment, I will spray my upper lip and hands with my fav cologne before leaving my car. Then when I see her I give her a kiss, and grab her hand or arm. Later, when I'm gone, shes still smelling me. Creates a lasting impression. I have had women text or email me that they are still smelling me at their work. I'm not talking body odor, LOL

 

[PRMoon]

I'm curious why you didn't just tell her what was on the paper as you were leaving?

"Here you are, this is my number, love to chat with you over the phone, take care."

It takes two seconds and is an easy close.

On a side note if you really cannot remember your number, Do yourself a favor and print out some business cards or something with you name and number. You can put your email and what have you on there if you like but it looks much more professional and will go a longer ways towards your credibility.

 

[jophil28]

I know I am putting this woman on a pedestal, I don't usually do this, it's strange.

It is interesting that I should be the prize, I read about this in another thread, it sounds like something I should aspiring too.

Cheers for the advice mate, I am composed about the situation. I acted on impluse and it went horribly wrong, I guess I shouldn't act upon impluse in future.

Read some (a lot is better) of David D's work on creating attraction and rapport with a new woman.

 

[TheBaconator]

Here's another secret weapon LOL: When I go see one of my plates / or a chick I am workin on at her place of employment, I will spray my upper lip and hands with my fav cologne before leaving my car. Then when I see her I give her a kiss, and grab her hand or arm. Later, when I'm gone, shes still smelling me. Creates a lasting impression. I have had women text or email me that they are still smelling me at their work. I'm not talking body odor, LOL

Interesting. What cologne do you use for this? I would be worried it would come off as too strong right on the upper lip. Has this ever backfired?

 

[Energizer]

I have done the same thing. if I really like a chick, sometimes the added pressure makes me say goofy things. Stop beating yourself up (title of this thread), and be the manly man that you are inside. Remember everyone screws up... it's the real winners who shake it off and recover from it well. Be cool & mysterious. And next time you go in the store, smile, and look & smell great. Smell is a sense that can be a secret weapon. Everyone concentrates on LOOKING good, and kino (TOUCHING). I have had women ask me what I am wearing, and then bring their boyfriend or husband over, and say "honey, this is how I want you to smell". LOL

You're right mate, I woke up this morning finding the situation all to amusing and put it to the back of my mind. :crackup:

I always wear Calvin Klein Obsession Night, but no one has passed comment, mind you I don't cake myself in the fragrance, maybe that's where I am going wrong.

Thanks for the advice though mate, it's appreciated.

 

[Energizer]

I'm curious why you didn't just tell her what was on the paper as you were leaving?

"Here you are, this is my number, love to chat with you over the phone, take care."

It takes two seconds and is an easy close.

On a side note if you really cannot remember your number, Do yourself a favor and print out some business cards or something with you name and number. You can put your email and what have you on there if you like but it looks much more professional and will go a longer ways towards your credibility.

She was fairly busy and I didn't get the chance to tell her what was on the paper and I'll be honest, I was fairly nervous which sounds and is pathetic, but I seemed to succumb to the pressure I had placed on my shoulders. I basically self sabotaged my effort, but I feel I have learnt my lesson from this incident and that lesson is that I need to man up and grow a pair.

You're right, what you typed is an easy close, but it was only when I got out of her store and closed my car door that I thought of what I could and should have done. I took the wimpy option out and passed her a piece of folded up paper that was probably discarded within a few seconds afterwards. :crackup:

Why would I have a business card when I am not a business owner or high up in the business game, it all seems a little pretentious does it not?

 

[Energizer]

Read some (a lot is better) of David D's work on creating attraction and rapport with a new woman.

Is he a poster on here?

 

[zekko]

I don't have feelings for her

If you don't have feelings for her, then why do you "only get AFCish around this particular woman"?

 

[Energizer]

If you don't have feelings for her, then why do you "only get AFCish around this particular woman"?

I do like her sure, but fancying someone is different to having feelings for them is it not? It's not like I love her or anything and I am not puppy-eyed over her, but I do fancy her.

 

[Connor99]

You did nothing wrong

You did more what most guys would do

If she calls you..great..if she doesn't well atleast you wont be sitting around one day asking yourself "What If "

 

[Energizer]

I know, but I felt with more composure I could have handled the situation. However, I shall stop being negative about the situation and take on board the advice given on here. This DJ mentality and attitude is harder to grasp than I thought, but I'm getting there, slowly.

Oh and I highly doubt she will phone me, I have never experienced a woman phone me first. It's always been me doing that.

 

[PRMoon]

She was fairly busy and I didn't get the chance to tell her what was on the paper and I'll be honest, I was fairly nervous which sounds and is pathetic, but I seemed to succumb to the pressure I had placed on my shoulders. I basically self sabotaged my effort, but I feel I have learnt my lesson from this incident and that lesson is that I need to man up and grow a pair.

Why would I have a business card when I am not a business owner or high up in the business game, it all seems a little pretentious does it not?

It's natural to be nervous around women. People are nervous in situations that they care about doing well in. Composure will only come to you once you've done this sort of thing until you've got a routine and can see how to manage the situation because you've been there a sufficient number of times to be confident about how to handle it.

Business cards are not reserved for anyone. You don't need to own a business or be an executive to have one. There are no prerequisites to having one nor should you think anyone handing them out is some one of any significance. Yes people of high business standards have them but it is in no way a right of passage or achievement. They have them because it makes it easy for them to pass their business along from one person to another. Try to think along those lines. Nothing pretentious about it, it's just a passage of formal information.