I'm a secret to all her friends/family.

[Keeper]

So I've been seeing this chick for a while. Except that none of HER friends/family know about it.

She made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone that we were together.

Hmm.. is this normal? Sure, her parents are strict and stuff... but still. Don't think she's ashamed (hehe), because when we go out (and we always go out a bit... er... farther than the closest spot) she's cool and stuff.

Heh... maybe I'm being paranoid again...

 

[whistler]

We don't know the circumstances...

But, that is odd, especially if you've been going out for a while.

Did she give you a reason? If not, she's probably embarassed somehow by teh relationship.

 

[Keeper]

She said something about not wanting dad to know...

... but is THIS really neccesary? I feel silly.

 

[PoloBlue]

is it an "inter-racial" relationship? sometimes they do it because they dont think their family would accept you.

 

[Keeper]

Maybe a little. I'm South African now, but I was born and reaised in Europe. Though I doubt it's that...

Eh... maybe I should give it time.

Edit: Ok. Well, I have been using DJ stuff on this girl. Maybe I take the teasing to the extreme? Maybe her parents only like those really 'sweet' guys?

I can be sweet! Sure I can....

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Haha... the chick's got a boyfriend. Does she have to erect a large, blinking neon sign for you?

 

[DJHoolahoop]

I feel you have your right to know where you stand in this relationship, it's obviously on your mind and she should be able to help EASE that in some way.

You have asked her about it right? Have u asked how long it has to stay this way?

Because I always see girls just try to keep things going as long as possible before they have to do anything about it.

 

[PoloBlue]

a few more questions:

*does she allow you to take her picture?
*does she ever take pictures with both of you together?
*do you hold hands in public?

because I knew a girl like that and she had a boyfriend but she said he was only a friend, then when she broke up with me she said the other guy was her boyfriend

she is probably just stringing you along and still has another boyfriend

 

[Keeper]

Originally posted by PoloBlue
a few more questions:

*does she allow you to take her picture?
*does she ever take pictures with both of you together?
*do you hold hands in public?

because I knew a girl like that and she had a boyfriend but she said he was only a friend, then when she broke up with me she said the other guy was her boyfriend

she is probably just stringing you along and still has another boyfriend

Yes
Yes
Yes

And yes... we do mostly anything in public. (When she thinks its... er.. .safe.)

She could have a boyfriend... wouldn't be surprised...

Wouldn't particularly care either. AS long as he doesn't give her crabs, that is...

 

[Keeper]

You guys really think she has a boyfriend?

 

[PoloBlue]

no, she probably doesnt have another boyfriend

I think it's because she has strict parents and she's very young
and shy about telling everybody, some girls are just like that, they like to keep secrets.

 

[Keeper]

Ok. Good to hear a happy thought.

Now... can anyone think of any remedies? Or anything I can do to.. er... change things? It can get annoying from time to time.

She's a really hot chick... and I'd like to brag a bit...

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Who wants to take bets?

- Chick says, "Don't tell anyone you're my boyfriend."
- Says, "Don't tell my family."
- Says, "Don't tell my friends."
- Says, "Let's not go out around here... let's go to a town a ways away."
- You are a secret.
- She is not being honest with SOMEONE.

Could it be her father she's worried about? I suppose it's possible, but pretty unlikely. This chick has a boyfriend that she's hiding you from, I would bet almost anything on it.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Keeper
So I've been seeing this chick for a while. Except that none of HER friends/family know about it.

She made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone that we were together.

Hmm.. is this normal? Sure, her parents are strict and stuff... but still. Don't think she's ashamed (hehe), because when we go out (and we always go out a bit... er... farther than the closest spot) she's cool and stuff.

Heh... maybe I'm being paranoid again...

LOL...that'd be ideal for me, as long as I was "hittin' it"...no overhead of trying to look good in front of her parents or getting along with her girlfriends.

Does she have another man, though? Or is there some kind of culture-shock issue?

 

[PoloBlue]

maybe her parents dont allow her to date yet? some parents dont let their daughter go on dates until they are 18 is she over 18?

fathers are very protective with their young daughters, maybe she doesnt want her father to get worried or dis appointed?

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by PoloBlue
maybe her parents dont allow her to date yet? some parents dont let their daughter go on dates until they are 18 is she over 18?

fathers are very protective with their young daughters, maybe she doesnt want her father to get worried or dis appointed?

I've known girls with strict parents and I've known girls who were hiding boyfriends.

This girl's behavior matches the latter but not the former. I'm not saying that you're wrong, but I'm saying that I would take that bet.

 

[Desdinova]

This is a really familiar scenario, except I was the one hiding the relationship. Ask this chick about her religious background. If she or her parents have anything to do with being Jehovah's Witnesses, that will explain a lot since they're only allowed to date in their own religion. If they get caught dating a non-believer, they risk being ex-communicated from the religion and are shunned by their parents and other members of the church.

 

[Wyldfire]

Either she is afraid her parents won't approve of your relationship or she is ashamed of it for some reason.

Those are the only two reasons that make any kind of sense whatsoever.

 

[MacDiddy]

when I started to see someone else when my gf left for europe I wouldn;t bring this new chick home for obvious reasons.... think about it... what western type family is gonna stop a chick from seeing whom ever she wants in this day and age...

I dun think most western religions play much of a part except if she's muslim

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by MacDiddy
when I started to see someone else when my gf left for europe I wouldn;t bring this new chick home for obvious reasons.... think about it... what western type family is gonna stop a chick from seeing whom ever she wants in this day and age...

I dun think most western religions play much of a part except if she's muslim

If her parents are extremely religious then they would oppose inter-racial dating...or even different religions. Let's say she's Jewish and the guy is Catholic or Protestant. Mommy and Daddy are going to want her to find a nice Jewish boy. It could be that she is embarassed of her family, too.
Although it's strange for her to hide the relationship...it doesn't mean she has another boyfriend. That's possible, but not a given. He should just ask her why she is hiding him from her family and friends.