I'm a noob, criticize what i did please

[spurnout]

​

So tonight I decide that I don't want to hang around the house like i usually do and i go to my favorite bar. Normally I'm not one to go out if i'm not going with someone, especially a girl. But I'm realizing that's such a semi-clingy thing to do. Maybe clingy isn't the right word, but I think you will all get what i'm saying.

​

I end up at the bar around 9:15 which is early, but there's usually people playing pool so i'll play that for awhile. Well a bunch of my bar buddies end up playing pool and we're playing game after game. Eventually this chick and a group of friends walk in. I didn't pay attention to them once I saw them because there was nothing that jumped out about any of them to me. While I'm playing pool I notice the girl talking to the guy that I'm playing against asking who was up next on the board. He tells her "I'm playing Matt right now and we don't have anyone next yet." She looks at me and smiles and says "Hi Matt! I'm Erin!" I kinda nod and then get back to focusing on the game as the guy I was playing is a freakin' shark.

​

To shorten things, I end up playing the girl and winning. She's with a bunch of deaf people because she's a translator at the school I go to and I find out she's the same age as me. She has to keep translating for some of them so she kept walking away but usually would end up coming back to talk and so that goes on for a bit and we're playing games. She comes over and says that she has to leave but that she liked the bar and plans on coming back often. That wasn't good enough for me to "maybe" see her again. I tell her "I think you're interesting we are going to hang out sometime. But when I put you into my phonebook, what makes you special above all the other Erins I know?" She ends up saying something about Brahaugh or something, i have no clue i wasn't really paying attention. She then puts out her hand to shake goodbye and i say "no thanks, I think we're at least at the hugging stage by now" and she gives me a hug goodbye and she's outta there. Now I know that 1 number in a night is nothing, but keep in mind that it's a Wednesday night and it was pretty slow at the bar. My goal when I went out tonight was to get at least 1 number and I attained that goal. That's pretty much what happened for the most part and I know it's not perfect but I'd like to hear what you all think. Thanks

 

[decades]

:moon:

that's what I would have done if you had tried that SOPHOMORIC (look it up) qualifying crap on me. The point is a "real" bona fide high self esteem woman with options would have laughed in your face, then mooned you if you were lame enough to qualify her like that. Don't work from a PUA script. She liked you already. When they like you already, throw the canned garbage out the window and be natural.

 

[Telos]

The whole asking for a hug thing sounds like a really pansy move to me.

 

[spurnout]

Yeah, i was thinking of getting a kiss on the cheek instead but i was pretty damn sweaty, but yeah i probably shouldn't have cared, and none of this **** was scripted, i didn't have time to think about a "script" plus i'm too new to all of this to have any scripts. But yeah, maybe i should've said constructive criticism and all i see is criticism, so maybe you all can do better with the advice?

 

[Jeffst1980]

You did pretty well for yourself.

I WILL criticize the lack of paragraphs or spaces in your OP, however.

 

[spurnout]

You did pretty well for yourself.

I WILL criticize the lack of paragraphs or spaces in your OP, however.

you sir are correct, i thought i was putting in indents but I guess not. I gotta work on my html coding, lol

 

[Mavrick]

you sir are correct, i thought i was putting in indents but I guess not. I gotta work on my html coding, lol

What kind of browser are you using that makes you write in html code? Technology has advanced and now we have these huge text boxes we can type into and even use paragraphs without any special html coding and then click "Submit new thread".