I'm a newbie =), here is my story, comments appreciated

KALVIN

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Well to start off
Hello everyone, Im kalvin from IL. I am 21. hehe that's it for the intro

Basically this story will discuss a 5+ year relationship with my x/gf?

I was dating this girl since i was 15, my friend brought her down to my house for my birthday (15th) b/c he was dating my x's best friend. We hit it off real well, we made out all nite, i got her number. u know the drill.

After a few weeks, i asked her out and we decided to go out. We went out for a week or so we talked all the time, etc. until the end of the 2nd week, she stoped calling me. I was wondering what's going on, and when i finally got a hold of her i foudn out that she was fxxn' this guy named jason and she broke it off with me. I really did not care too much at that point (the age, etc.)

AFter a few weeks i really started to miss her. she was the hottest girl i had ever gone out with or messed around with, she was gorgeous.

So i spent some time and got a hold of her. we started to hang out at times, she only wanted to be friends. I said fine, we hung out and the 'friend' thing really wanst doing it for me, it made me feel like she was giving me signs all thetime and when i would act on it, i would get rejected.

This went on for a month or so, until i said ur either with me or not. she said no. and we stopped talking again.

A month later we talked again, i was throwing a party and her and her best friend came over. we had a blast got really drunk, etc. her friend got really sick, but at the end of the night i let her crash on my lil bro's bed. well at like 6am i came and i layed down next to her, held her and fell asleep.

ever since thne she has said that she fell in love with me that night.

so after that we started going out for good. we had our occasional fights etc. but we were going out for a couple of years.
we basically told ppl we were engaged, that's how "in love" we were.

i feel bad somewhat, b/c throughout i cheated on her a couple of times etc. but so did she, now its all forgotten.

the week after i turned 18 we decided to move out and get our own apt, so we did. (she's 3 months older than me) we got one right by my work (i was working full -time at 18 and so was she)
it was the greatest thing in the world, we loved living together, it was amazing.

At that point i was sort of changing emotionally, i didnt know what i wanted, and i was always lookin at the ladies, even though i had a princess at home. At some point i met some girl on the internet, that was really hot, and we talked all the time, around the same time i found out that my gf was pregnant!!
she knew she was going to have to get an abortion b/c she has a kidney desease. The day she had her abortion. I was with her and it is a terrible thing. I was a complete ******* and we got in a huge fight. i ended up leaving and met up with the girl from online, i went with a friend and she brought a friend, it was like a double date, after that we went back to the girls house and we both got laid. and my date was really hot.
that night when i came home i felt like the biggest pos. I really still do. And I am an ******* or was that night.

AFter a while things got somewhat better. She never really knew that i had cheated on her that night. I didnt start a relationshiop with the other girl, tho i still talk to her sometimes today.
We lived togheter at this apt. for about 8 months. we fought sometimes but we were always glad to see ea. other and were always happy to spend time with each other even if all we were doing was nothing.

At the end of the lease (8months) my best friend convinced me that i should not renew or move into another apt with her bc. of all the drama that we had throughout our relationship. I was set to move in with my friend. then when i told her she broke down and really got under my skin, she made me feel bad and i decided that i would once again move in with her.

we found a very nice (expensive) apt and moved into it right after the lease was over on the first one. we were very happy for a long while, she started beauty school, i went to work and went to school. After a while i really got into racing and messing with cars etc. so i would always want to go out and do that with my buddies, she was really against and annoyed by anything dealing with that aspect, and would never come along, so there would be nites where i would be out all nite, with my friends and she would be stuck at home, mind this she has a lot of friends and coudl have went out, but didint, b/c she was so dependent on me for plans etc. I miss that now.

After we lived in this apt for over 1.5yrs we decided that it was time to move out and move back home. it was a mutual decision and we broke up the day we moved out, but that nite we missed ea. other so much we got back together and had to see each other. (we live 45mins-hr away). We started going out and it was almost better that we didnt see each other every single day.
WE had our clashes but much less frequently and overall were happy.

AT this point (around late spring,early summer this year) i began to feel trapped or somewhat exhausted of having to be with her every day etc. so i told her that i was not sure what i need to do but we need to some how just lay off for a little while. she didnt understand she went nuts, etc. one night i spent the night over ther, she went through my cellfone and wrote down all thenumbers that were in there, and started calling this girl i met at ISU, i woke up at that point and snatched the fone away. she kicked me out of her parents house and i had to resort to sleep in my car.

after this incident i stopped talking to her, i would not pick up her fone calls and i was feeling good about it too. we didnt talk (except for an occasional txt msg on the cell) one day she txt'd me and told me that she has found someone new, some guy whatever) that really made me mad, so i said i have found someone as well and not to bother me b/c she would get mad.

AFter about another week she called me and i picked up (i missed her) and she wnated to do something for the 4th of july, she said she wanted to spend it with me, i said fine if u want to do that, u have to not tlak to this other "guy" for 24hrs and then call me and ill think about it.

she didnt talk to him , called me and we spent the 4th together.

after this we started hanging out again, we would call ea. other like it used to be etc. and after a while we got back together. I realised that she meant the world to me an told her that i am sorry for whta i did and would do whatever it takes to make this relationship work.

We hung out like good old times etc, and then she would disappear and not call me for a whole day, when i would ask her, she would say she was out with a girlfriend etc. i blindly did not pay attention until it got out of hand.
she went to florida on vacation and the whole time she called me every day at least 2 times to talk and to say "i love you" etc.
I missed her when she was gone, and when she came back i couldnt wait to see her, b/c she had about 3 days b4 she had to go into surgery and wouldnt really be able to do much. the day she came back she disappeared for 3 days, i would be able to get a hold of her once a day or so aand then seh would nto pick up her fone
this drove me nuts, then she told me that she was hangin out with this guy that she met when we were not talking (and they are just friends etc) i did not believe it went crazy. got really depressed etc.
i told her that she's either with me 100% or not at all, she agreed, but then the same thing happened the next week etc.

i tried my best to deal with it, but it would really aggravate me and after about 1.5-2 months i got fed up and broke up with her.

While not talking to her, i met 2 girls (really fine) that i started hanging out with, i felt great. i got busy with both, and it was just awsome, then one day my x calls me and she wants to see me or whtaever, so i went over there, we slept together, and started talking again
she told me that she really now knows she wants to be with me and that she would for me call this guy on the fone atnd tell him she never wants to talk to him again. i said fine. she called him and he got really upset, tried calling back and she didnt pick up her fone.

well this was about 2 weeks ago.
last nite i had class till 10pm and we agreed that i would then come over and spend the night, and she would be at home all evening etc.
b4 class at around 7 i called her house and her sister told me she was out, so i called her cell, she finally picked up, and told me that she's going out with that guys' couisin to the bar and not to be mad. i flipped out, b/c i knew what was going to happen. i told her she better not, but she said dont worry about it, ur still coming over whatever, just call me when ur out of school and i will go home.

well as i knew it, i called her when i got out 2 times, no answer, i went home and txt'd her. no answer.
at about 1.30am i calld her fone and someone picked up, i heard guys in the background and noone would say anything into the actual fone, when i said hello, she hung up and turned her fone off.
she never called me last nite
or today.
so now i feel like im back in the begging and i feel like crap.

i really love this girl, the way she smells the way she looks and the way she makes me feel when im with her.

i know the #1 reply will probably be something liek "move on" etc. but that's not exactly what im looking for.

thanks for reading, i know it was a long read, let me know what you guys think.
 

KALVIN

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KALVIN

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Originally posted by b's nuts
this cycle is going to repeat itself as long as you are with this girl, without a doubt.
see what i dont understand is when we are together she acts like we are together, she is the nicest sweetest person. she wants to be with me, she'll call me and ask me to come over, and then there are days like this?

Im going to entertain myself at lunch(im at work) and stop by her work and see what lie or excuse she has.

probably shouldnt but its eating me up right now
 

Eyecandie4ya

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Where the other hot broads you got with when you took a break from this female?

Don't tell me you let them go!

Say it ain't so!
 
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I'm sorry for your paid kid. I didnt't enjoy reading:



she knew she was going to have to get an abortion b/c she has a kidney desease. The day she had her abortion. I was with her and it is a terrible thing. I was a complete ******* and we got in a huge fight. i ended up leaving and met up with the girl from online, i went with a friend and she brought a friend, it was like a double date, after that we went back to the girls house and we both got laid. and my date was really hot.


She just went through one of the most tramatic things a woman could ever do to her body mind and soul. Of course your going to fight right after doing something like this...she needed to punish herself. You should of stayed with her that night. You just destroyed your child together and you went off to sex up some other ho'. I don't mean to blast you on this...I know you already have your own guilt...but let me finish.


You probably noticed that your relationship went down hill after that point. Probably on a subconscious level you remind her of the incident and probably blames you in some small way....then to have you go out and leave her...you follow me now.

Then to catch you cheating on her months later...

She is probably going to go through a self-destructive phase for a while and f*uck as many dudes as she can to try to whipe away how low she feels inside.

But "YOU" remind her of her pain. I do give her credit for trying to stick it out for so long afterwards.

Now how could you want her after you know another man is hitting that? Laying your woman down and giving her pleasure??? Kissing her...touching her...penetrating her???how could you want that back??

Your addicted to the good feelings she gave you...it has nothing to do with her the person inside..otherwise you wouldn't of cheated on her.

She became a byatch. You got even by cheating on her...instead of handling her like a man and communicating how you felt about her behavior and actions.

Let her go! If she wants to call you she will. Do not persue her because you will then hand her your nutz.

Start seeing other women as quickly as you can...and if it's ment to be she will return wondering why you haven't called her beggin like a bi*tch.

peace out kid Good luck
 

NewMan

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know the #1 reply will probably be something liek "move on" etc. but that's not exactly what im looking for.
So then why post?

You already know what your going to do - try and get her back and go through this pain again and again.....

Drama....

Do you think she is the only girl that smells good?

Do you think that she is the only girl that will make you feel good?

News flash....

there's lost of them out there.

It sound slike your addicated to this drama rama. Round and round YOU go, where do you stop no one knows.

You both need to do some growing.

I'm not going to tell you to move on, cause you will not.

You setting yourself up for a world of hurt.
 

KALVIN

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here is the deal
the thing with the aboriton was a horrible thing to do, and i regret it and i told her many times, i know i could never bring that back, but u gotta think this happened like almost 3 years ago.. i mean i would have let go after ayear even if i was really hurt

the thing is about this gurl, the most hurtful thing u can say to her is call her a slut a ***** wahtever.
she always says that i would never fvck someone i wasnt in love with etc. and seh has been pretty much keeping up with that really well from what i know

yeah i know she was going out with this guy behind my back, i busted her on it, she confessed felt real bad etc.
she told me at one poitn that she really likes hangin out with him so i stepped off, met these chics, hung out with them, got to hit one of em, the otehr i didnt b/c i ddint have a rubber, so it was a pretty good experience nevertheless.

in anyways, now she was telling me how she knows that she was wrong, she knows that she wants to be with me, etc. so i fell back into the sequence, and now this again.

last nite she was supose to go out with a "girlfriend" but i know deep inside that is a lie, and i knew the second she told me, i confronted her, but she denied, and promised to pick up the fone when im out of class. she didnt..

the BIG issue here is that i messed up and got a dui after my 21st bday (its only bene a month) i have learned my lesson and will deal with it accordingly
the thing is . i work 45 mins away from my house, and she lives 10 mins down the street from my work, so when i lose my license she told mei can stay there for a month or whatever and she would drive me to work etc. she told me this last nite even b4 i hung up with her.

i really dont wanna lose my job and now im in a bind.
just thought that would clarify some of the issues u brought up


now.

the other 2 chics, are hotter than her, but i cant connect with them on teh same emotional level, i cant enjoy myself and act liek "me" around them, they have their own issues
neither can stick to what they say, one i chilled with for 2 weeks (every 3 or 4 days) had fun, went out, now she's not going out or smth and is in a weird mood all the time, so i kind of backed off

the other i went out with on one date, she's friends with my good friends' girlfriend, and i talk to her all the time. but she never really maeks an effort to make me feel like she wants to do something. so i slowly am backing off.

i am a little depressed at this moment so its hard to be a DJ

hope that clears some stuff up but keep em coming
 

KALVIN

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Originally posted by NewMan
So then why post?

You already know what your going to do - try and get her back and go through this pain again and again.....

Drama....

Do you think she is the only girl that smells good?

Do you think that she is the only girl that will make you feel good?

News flash....

there's lost of them out there.

It sound slike your addicated to this drama rama. Round and round YOU go, where do you stop no one knows.

You both need to do some growing.

I'm not going to tell you to move on, cause you will not.

You setting yourself up for a world of hurt.
why post? because i thought there would be some more detailed responses rather than just "you should just move on" that really doesnt solve anything, and even if this is lost, i would know what to do in the future with othe rgurls

she's not the only one that smells good.. not the point, its the fact that i guess im used to her and i really do love her. we've been through a lot. and maybe idk what im doing but i do miss her when im not with her...

THE BIG PROBLEM is once again
is the fact that she tells me she wants to be with me. she will act the way i want and act the way she wants, not going out pickin up chics etc, u know what imean

but then all of a sudden out of the blue, some **** like this will happen.
her explanation to stuff, is YOU DID THIS TO ME THEN, AND then etc.

well im over the **** she put me through (believe me there were a lot of things, i just didnt wanna make thsi post any longer than it is)
why cant she get over what i did?

im not gonna sit her and cry about it. been there long time ago. many times.

i will try to move on, but my feelings for her make me come back to her like a loser. i feel like its funny when i think about it but i cannot find anyone that can satisfy this void i have in my life.other than her

so idk, what u think
 

Kid-Icarus

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Red Flag #1 = (After a few weeks, i asked her out and we decided to go out. We went out for a week or so we talked all the time, etc. until the end of the 2nd week, she stoped calling me. I was wondering what's going on, and when i finally got a hold of her i foudn out that she was fxxn' this guy named jason and she broke it off with me.)

This should of told you you were gonna have problems

Red Flag #2= (AFter a few weeks i really started to miss her. she was the hottest girl i had ever gone out with or messed around with, she was gorgeous.So i spent some time and got a hold of her. we started to hang out at times, she only wanted to be friends. I said fine, we hung out and the 'friend' thing really wanst doing it for me, it made me feel like she was giving me signs all thetime and when i would act on it, i would get rejected.)

:confused:She Gives You signs but rejects you when you act on them.. /i said ur either with me or not. she said no. and we stopped talking again/....Atleast you had balls enuf 2try..most wouldnt...but anyways this shoulda told you sumthins up

Red Flag #3= (i feel bad somewhat, b/c throughout i cheated on her a couple of times etc. but so did she, now its all forgotten.)

:eek: wow... YOu cheated..ok your an a.s.s but heres the line that shoulda woke you up BUT SO DID SHE
is this cuz she found out you were cheating? this isnt math two negatives dont make a positive

:mad: (Side Note) The day she had her abortion. I was with her and it is a terrible thing. I was a complete ******* and we got in a huge fight. i ended up leaving and met up with the girl from online, i went with a friend and she brought a friend, it was like a double date, after that we went back to the girls house and we both got laid.

:eek: R U kiddin. its one thing 2cheat on a girlfriend but yours just had an ABORTION and you go out and get laid tha same day cuz you 2get in2 an argument...c'mon...i really am tryin to feel your problem but Dam thats cold...

Red Falg #4= (she has a lot of friends and coudl have went out, but didint, b/c she was so dependent on me for plans)

:rolleyes: i like girls who like doing things with their man but when a girl who has many friends cant make plans without you thats a little too dependent... she has a life right?

Red Flag#5= (i began to feel trapped or somewhat exhausted of having to be with her every day etc. so i told her that i was not sure what i need to do but we need to some how just lay off for a little while. she didnt understand she went nuts, etc. one night i spent the night over ther, she went through my cellfone and wrote down all thenumbers that were in there, and started calling this girl i met at ISU, i woke up at that point and snatched the fone away. she kicked me out of her parents house and i had to resort to sleep in my car.)

/ This REALLY shoulda put your brain in motion and she kicked you out b'cuz you stopped her from going tru your phone while you slept. (Do u see where i'm going with this?)

Red Flag#6= (we would call ea. other like it used to be,)(she txt'd me and told me that she has found someone new,)(she would disappear and not call me for a whole day)(i BLINDLY did not pay attention until it got out of hand) BLIND BLINDBLIND (the day she came back she disappeared for 3 days, i would be able to get a hold of her once a day or so and then she wouldnt pick up her fone) DOESNT SOUND LIKE GOOD TIMES 2ME (1==she told me that she was hangin out with this guy that she met when we were not talking 2==i told her that she's either with me 100% or not at all, she agreed, but then the same thing happened the next week etc.) HOW MANY MORE CLUES YOU NEED?

""i got fed up and broke up with her"" HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GONNA BREAKUP WITH THIS GIRL? MAKE A DECISION AND STICK TO IT

Red Flag#8= (told me that she's going out with that guys' couisin to the bar and not to be mad. i flipped out, b/c i knew what was going to happen. i told her she better not, but she said dont worry about it, ur still coming over whatever, just call me when ur out of school and i will go home.)

IF HE'S HIS COUSIN HE HAS 2KNOW SHE HAS A MAN(YOU) AND SHE STILL GOES WITH HIM AFTER YOU SAY NO=(SHE DOESNT CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS)

""i called her when i got out 2 times, no answer, i went home and txt'd her. no answer. at about 1.30am i calld her fone and someone picked up, i heard guys in the background and noone would say anything into the actual fone, when i said hello, she hung up and turned her fone off. she never called me last nite
or today.

SHE DID SUMTHIN TRUST ME..THE PHONE DOESNT TURN IT SELF OFF ON PURPOSE. EVEN IF THE BATTERY JUST HAPPENED TO DIE AT THAT EXACT MOMENT IN TIME SHE SHOUDLNT HAVE BEEN THERE TO BEGIN WITH..

CAN EVERYONE IN HERE PLEASE TELL THIS GUY THE ANSWER:

D.U.M.P .T.H.I.S .G.I.R.L. You said you have met other chicks and banged them were are they?
NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT

Incase you didnt get that NEXT
 

KALVIN

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yes im an ******* for leavin that nite. i know

lots of signs sure. you're right, but u cant tell me u never were there? u know?

to clarify
the cousin is a girl

and i know she turned her fone off on purpose,

i did go by her work but she wastn there, i called her house, and her mom said she was sleeping

basically at this point, i dont have much left with her i realise that
but i'd like to be humored by what excuse she will give me this time

i guess the bottom line is
that im stuck on this stupid girl, that i could have had something with, but i messed it up hard core.

im gonna be stuck at home with no license... i guess il lhave to work on "myself" ...

yeah next. easier said than done
 

KALVIN

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Originally posted by Kid-Icarus
You said you have met other chicks and banged them were are they? [/B]
just cuz u bang a chic doesnt mean that she will satisfy you emotianlly, and they certainly aint doing that for me right now.
 

Julian

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Damn man that is some mad drama. Like a fuccing soap opera.


Thats the only comment i have. =\
 

Kid-Icarus

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ok you know what i'm feelin 4u really i am ...on some level anyway....but honestly and imean HONESTLY...put yourself in the shoes of someone who was LISTENING to this story from someone else....what would you tell them...sometimes a history with soome1 aint enuf...you had some good times with her and crazy one obviously but look deep inside yourself.......ITS OVER...STOP TRYING TO GET BACK WITH HER...LEAVE HER ALONE....if she calls your cell phone DONT PICK UP. hell change your number.. it wont cost you damn near anything if you stay with your carrier.

You need to realise theres just 2much DRAMA to put up with..This sh.it will always be on your mind ..Honestly i think you like all these problems otherwise you wouldnt put up with so much and keep going back 2her.

Whats it gonna take 2make u realise that. You say u bang other chicks and from your story you obviously have the skills need to get other girls...Dude your 21 ...Believe me there are other girls..
Begin a new history with another girl sheesh.. just cause ya got some history you feel somewhat obligated 2keep going back 2her.. Dont do it...Not for us, Not for the DJ Bible or all the other people on this site saying this and that 2u but 4yourself and yourself health, esteem and life....move on...

If not dont bother even posting future problems you are gonna have with this chick (and believe me you will have them) cuz that will just tell us you like the BS problems you are going tru and therefore deserve what you get..

BE A MAN FOR YOURSELF AND NO ONE ELSE....ITS YOUR LIFE
 

sux2bu

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This is a shining example of stupidity at its finest.

Day-um cuz' -- this sounds like one of those Reality Shows on Fox, that got cancelled. Or one of those Lifetime Network TV movies of the week. Jebus!! Oh man I am in tears..

Most definitely NOT minty fresh.

All together now...

DON'T run with scissors...

NEVER wear stripes with plaid...

SQUEEZE the toothpaste from the end, never from the middle...

I before E, except after C, or when pronounced as A, as in nEIghbor and wEIgh...

Never put all your eggs in one basket..

And in your case, arguing with a girl is like arguing with a child, or a homosexual -- You can't reason with them. "On and off" relationships are a living hell that never amount to shyt anyway... So, get over it and stop getting upset because you're letting women take advantage of you. In fact, you're taking advantage of yourself, then blaming it on them.

YOU ARE GOING TO BEG FOR HELL TO EXIST IF YOU TAKE HER BACK.
 
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KALVIN

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i wouldnt say stupidity but blindness. i try to make the most rational decision most times, that would benefit me and not hurt others around me

yes you're all right, it is much different from the side and sounds like i spent the nite in hell
you're right

a lot of times i notice, it is alot easier for people to act upon similar things as mine, when they are able to talk about it and get other people's opinions

hence why i posted here

thanks everyone.
 

specv1331

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Kalvin your nothing but a rod. Get over yourself and quit having sex with random girls and gang banging the chick in fridays
 

Walden

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Hehe SUX2bu that's hilarious.
 

NewMan

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this guy is in for a lot more pain before he's through.

She's chewing you up and spitting you out.
 

es_mer8

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and started calling this girl i met at ISU,
ISU = Iowa State University or Illinois State University? I go to the former.

Anyway, after reading this, you have to wonder if this drama is worth having a relationship. I know its worth it in romance novels and Dawson's Creek but sometimes there are instances in your life when something is just too big of a hassle and just cut your losses. To me, this relationship has too much baggage and drama for even AFCs to recommend staying in. I'd just dump her and leave her...for good. She is just only going to bring more pain into your life.

I was wondering what's going on, and when i finally got a hold of her i foudn out that she was fxxn' this guy named jason and she broke it off with me. I really did not care too much at that point (the age, etc.)
A definite red flag there. I know you two were only just "talking" but it proved that she lacked decisiveness. If it was me, I would have just said, "Ok, take care." and moved on.

I said fine, we hung out and the 'friend' thing really wanst doing it for me, it made me feel like she was giving me signs all thetime and when i would act on it, i would get rejected.
Often times I really wonder if when a girl rejects you if thats a low sign of interest or just another head game she is playing. I've been thinking a lot about that a while ago and when this was brought up, my curiosity on the matter was sparked up again. I believe that collectively with all rejections, 80% of them at most are legitimate rejections. The other 20% are head game rejections and the girl still likes you but cannot come to terms that her games are over and she finally got the guy.

I was set to move in with my friend. then when i told her she broke down and really got under my skin, she made me feel bad and i decided that i would once again move in with her.
Another big red flag there. She tried to control you in your life. You submitted. I think from that point on, you were officially her b1tch. This was even more evident when she basically did not like you messing around with racing and all that. I often times do not get why both girls and guys try to forbid their others for doing their hobbies. I would never do that to a girl (unless her hobby was banging other men) and the minute a girl tries to do that with me is the minute her ass is dumped.

she never called me last nite
When you heard the guys talk, that should have been the clue for you that you two are done. Finished. Through. To her, you are just like a clingy little kid who won't get off her leg. She wants you gone from her life yet cannot tell you this directly which is why she is avoiding you like the plague.

I think its time for you to cut your losses and move on with your life. Anyway, with you and GigaloDJ living next state to me, next summer when I get out of college, we should all meet up and do various DJ activities.
 
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