Im a mess when it comes to girls, can someone give me advice to help me out.

[em123]

Ok so i had social anxiety for 18 years of my life and did not talk to one girl(anyone who had or knows someone with social anxiety would understand why). Anyway im 21 now, iv been social anxiety free for 3 years now.. I have alot of girl "friends" but for some reason I am unable to get a girlfriend. All of the girl "friends" who i have now i used to be interested in and they all pretty much were interested in me in the beginning then i got put in the friend zone lol (which i still do not understand but my friends kinda explain it to me everytime and tell me why it happened)..

- I think my one problem may be i have the "HANDSOME" look(thats what all the girls say), if i shave i look like im 15 so i keep the dirty look(5 oclock shadow) which makes me look around 25, so girls my age think im older which sucks, so that right there turns them off i guess.

- I really do not know how to talk to girls i guess, i dont know what im doing wrong to tell you the truth. I mean i get nervous around girls and my social anxiety seems to swing back at times around them so i normally make an ass of myself making jokes etc cause i get hyper & nervous.. my friends all give me tips but i end up compeltly doing the opposite of what they say.

- Girls flirt with me all the time according to my friends but i never notice it, i dont know what to look for i guess cause in a way im EXTREMLY new at this. The Other day for example a girl came up to me randomly and said I smelled good, i said thanks and walked away, my friend was like wtf was that she was flirting with you..lol ...and this one girl always IMs me and says she misses me yet see her everyday, and she drops me hints telling me im a great guy and im fun etc, but i never know how to respond and normally change the subject compltly.. girls smile at me all the time i just smile back freak out and turn the other way.

--Iv gone through all the articles on this site but I guess im still kind of confused..i dont mean to sound like a complete idiot , but with only 3 years of talking to girls i guess you can say i am.

- Do girls ever approach guys, in an open way so even i would see it lol..
Is there a way to get girls to approach guys?

- Is it my clothing style maybe? I normally dress GQ in a way to fit my dirty shaven look, buttoneed down shirt black pants etc.. when i wear regular clothes when im gonna be doing activities or such girls seem to look at me more.. my friend said its intimidation in a way when i dress liek i normally do.

- and i really dont know how to act around girls, I went from being completly nice and a puppy dog toward girls to chaning in the past year from seeing my friends and how they act now im like being weird either too nice or just a jackass....err i dunno


i know im a complete mess but any advice would go a long way
thanks
glad i found this site lol

 

[Flabbergasped?]

Glad to see your on your way to discovery. It's too late for me to give coherent advice, but I will tell you this.

Think of women as men. Talk to them the way you would talk to your friends. It'll take a while to develop that kind of comfort, but it goes a long way.

 

[Diesel_Power]

Im reading the DJ bible right now. You started to read it yet?

 

[Last Man Standing]

Whether woman give you hints or not it doesn't matter - because YOU have to chose which women YOU like and YOU must pursue and initiate romantic interest and it is YOU that must ask for digits etc... -

Don't let your inadequacies of your past childhood dictate your future because your future as a man will be bleak!!! You are a man now - think and act like one!! Let this be your motto!!!

You are going to have to sharpen your conversational skills if you want to be successful - this seems to be the only thing holding you back!!

 

[em123]

It could be conversational skills, but I am extremely outgoing to people that i know so i dont think it could be that..when someone hears me talk they dont believe that i dont have a girlfriend and that iv had social anxiety.. so i dunno if thats the case..

 

[Last Man Standing]

It could be conversational skills, but I am extremely outgoing to people that i know so i dont think it could be that..when someone hears me talk they dont believe that i dont have a girlfriend and that iv had social anxiety.. so i dunno if thats the case..

confidence problem?? Or you get the eeebie jeebies when a girl comes your way! Talking to dudes and girls - people in general, is different than you talking to a girl that you like and want to have -- those are the convo skills I'm talking about!

 

[em123]

Yea thats prob more what it is a confidence factor, i get nervous because I dont know what to say or do, then i end up acting like a compelte moron. Its like i dont know what to say, and i really do not know how to respond to a flirt.