I'm a bit insecure/jealous still

[MrS]

Two things, fellas.
I am at university, gaming it up, going very well.

One girl we're taking it a little bit further (first mistake maybe?), she's just so much fun.
VERY RARELY I get insecure about things and feel I need to do something to keep her liking me, which is a load of **** because she's after me like a puppy. Apart from reminding me about this, what else is there to do? A mindset to get used to on the subject? These are first times for me to have girls chasing up after me and **** like that so its new territory.

My second problem is jealousy, I was in the army for 2 years, and I get quite jealous when people talk about great times they had, things they've done, fun **** they've done with their bf/gf and I feel like I have missed out and get a bit uncomfy and jealous.
I also sometimes become jealous when girls tell me about previous experiences or other stuff, basically when I find out their life doesn't revolve around me as I would like That's part joke, but you guys know what I mean!

This post will probably make me come off pretty weak-willed but nothing could be farther from the truth, so please offer any help on these two particular subjects.

 

[AAAgent]

you decided to go to the army so you have no one to blame for missing out on those years except yourself so live with it. and who cares about the fun times they had when u were away. u made money, acquired skills, and got in better physical shape. u were setting ur foundation to create better times then them. so instead of getting jealous over their good times, go make your own.

i don't understand your first question... its kinda blurred with information.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the first part is about how he is having trouble establishing himself as the prize because once a girl is chasing him, he is afraid of doing something to screw it up. This stems from insecurity because it is like "I must get her to keep liking me" which invokes AFC behavior.

If you act stoked about the fact that she's chasing you, it sets off a sub-conscious alarm in her head that goes something like this: "OMG maybe this guy isn't so great after all, he probably hasn't had a girl come onto him like this before. I don't want a guy that no other girl wants, because then I wouldn't be able to brag to my friends."

Best thing to do is just take a step back from her. Don't blow her off completely, but just act like it wouldn't affect you if she wasn't into you anymore. If you have ever had a girl that you weren't into pursue you, you would know that they only pursue harder when you pulled away a bit (but didn't blow them off completely out of politeness/ pity).

So just play it cool, keep making her feel good when you're around her, and don't invest too much in her and her interest will increase. This is easier said than done, but like everything else with practice it becomes reality.

 

[The Bat]

Spin more plates.

If you had more than one girl, then you wouldn't give two $hits about which girl is chasing you and which one isn't. And to keep them chasing, 46and2 gave some good advice. Keep doing what you were doing, change things up from time to time, pull back every now and then, etc. Give her a ride on an emotional rollercoaster. If you become too predictable and stagnant, then that interest will drop dramatically.

And about the jealousy issue, forget who was having good times with their bf/gf. Military guys LOVE to talk about their gfs/wives every chance they get because they're still stuck in the AFC mentality of "Who has the craziest hook up story? Who has banged the most broads? etc."....very high school like, if you ask me. Besides, aren't majority of military guys straight out of high school to the bootcamp? They never got the chance to grow up and realize that there are better things to do with your free time than sit around, talk about girls.

 

[MrS]

Thanks for the replies, I already thought of spinning more plates.

And it was national service, not my own wanting to join.