I'm a bit confused....

[DarkSideOfTheMind]

This post is sort of a follow-up to one I made about my girlfriend playing games because I am going to graduate school in Hawaii for my PhD and leaving her behind. I have taken the smart advice offered here and the same my brothers offered and am going no matter what. I did the LJBF thing and it forced her hand, she professed her love yadda yadda.

Now we this is where I am confused. Last weekend she tells me she needs a break while she is up at school for the three weeks before she comes home for Christmas break. She needs to think about if she can deal with me being so far away etc, etc....I don't know what she means by this, and unfortunatly it has made me question being with her. My only question as to her meaning is does this mean I can bust out some numbers and start rolling again or what?? I went up to see her Friday for her birthday, thinking again to force her hand, didn't happen although the sex was awesome.

I am a somewhat moral being. And I am in a relationship with this girl for a few years. I don't want to cheat on her, but I don't feel like putting my life on hold for another two weeks while she decides. If anybody can shed some light on what she means it would be most appreciated.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Agree with her that the two of you should take a break. However, since this is something that merits true consideration, tell her that instead of two weeks, you two should take a break from one another for two months. No calls, or interactions what so ever!

Seems extreme? Most definitely. However, even more than forcing her hand, it forces yours also. You'll be able to decide whether she is truly LTR material where as you are willing to keep your commitment for an extended amount of time without being together.

No one ever said that life was easy, but it can still be fulfilling despite the choices we make.

 

[parisaga]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
you two should take a break from one another for two months. No calls, or interactions what so ever!

I did this exact thing with a girl I was dating for 8 years. We lived together, had a dog, but I just could not ask her to marry me.

We did it as a "trial" just as Francisco suggests. It's 2 years later and we're still great friends.

I'm now dating this chick who already makes me much happier than "my ex" ever did. Hotter too (and my old gf was HOT)

Of course there were many useless b!tches in between the 2.

If you do this, realize it will probably end things.

 

[biker_gixxer]

She needs to think about if she can deal with me being so far away etc, etc....I don't know what she means by this, and unfortunatly it has made me question being with her.

Let me ask you this, if you're going to leave her behind, does it really matter what it means?

It sounds like she's hurt and trying to take back control of the situation by saying that 'she' needs a break. Or, maybe she's trying to be dramatic about the whole thing to get your attention. Either way, I would say 'o.k., cool, I look forward to seeing you for christmas'. Done.

My only question as to her meaning is does this mean I can bust out some numbers and start rolling again or what??

I would take this 'break' of hers as an opptunity to #1: detach yourself from the situation #2 meet other women and have some fun before you leave.

but I don't feel like putting my life on hold for another two weeks while she decides.

you don't feel like putting your life on hold? Here's a helpful TIP that I learned. Never ever wait around for a girl to make a decision, that's giving her way to much power/control. You shouldn't have to put your life on hold for anyone, ever. You're the man, you'll do what you want, when you want. If people except this, great, if they don't, oh well. Either way it doesn't matter to you. right?

 

[DarkSideOfTheMind]

Thanks for the advice.
I told her the same, and that it would be better if we had alot of time to think. Don't know where it will go, but she has called me a few times, and left messages crying.
It's kind of funny, that when you back off for a little bit, and reasses the situation how different things look. I can now see things that I hadn't seen before, and things that I was not too fond of....and the best part is I got two new girls out of the deal. One girl who knows us from the shore, and called me like 2 days later saying "hey heard what happened, give me a call if you wanna get together and talk or something." Yeah something was good, and the other is a girl who's on my nuts cause I'm going to get my PhD (It isn't a player hating degree). Anyway it was good stuff, and i feel as though a weight I didn't even know I was under has been lifted.
I understand what it means too parisaga, but shes hot enough where I think I'll try and pull some booty calls from the situation...shouldn't be hard around the holidays. Anyway, they keep crying and I keep flying...later and thanks.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Did you ask her to come along with you to Hawaii?

If you didn't then she knows that you do not want to keep her and that you will be with other women - she was probably thinking this. There was no motivation on her part to be faithful to you and wait. She is thinking "Why should I play the fool? It is better to end this now!"

 

[DarkSideOfTheMind]

Not only di I ask her to come, I found scholarships for her so it would be cheaper than her school is now. She said something to the effect of "This is where I choose to go to chool, etc." So not only did I ask, I tried to help.