I'm 28 years old and i'm not horny...

[backbreaker]

I've been kinda reluctant to share this... but this is what's going on. I mean, I have sex with my wife maybe 2 or so times a week. maintenance sex so to speak... but... I don't know who to put this... I don't know if it's just me, but I don't seem to have the same sexual drive as most men I see anymore or even me as did a few years ago or even a year ago.

To be totally honest I really don't care so much about sex at this point in my life. I mean it's nice, but I just don't get.... just you know... dog humping the leg horny anymore. It's been quite a while since i"ve gotten that horny. I mean I know how to respond to queues and I really do enjoy sex with my wife, It's nice, but I'd be lying if it was always me that was pushing it. And it's not even just her, it's all women.

like, even though I am very faithful I am a flirt, it comes naturally. like, a week ago i wasn't in the mall and this attractive girl at a clothing store was just throwing me all types of hints and signs and I was basically trying to run away lol.

I mean, honestly a this point if i didn't get any for a month I don't think i would care less. And I know that you want to stive for... not wanting, but I don't know to this extent lol. this is kinda scary to me.

I mean I feel pretty manly in all other aspects of my life. I work out daily, I can almost bench 300 pounds now for crying out loud, work is going good, I'm doing good and feeling good.. I still like being affectionate, I just am not all that interested in sex.

I mean. how can i put this.. I'm still very attracted to women... I like women, I like attention from women. I just don't' particularly care for having sex right now.

 

[DMEDFISIK]

How much do squat? How much do you deadlift?

 

[Robert28]

dude trust me I know how you feel. let me put it this way, you ever chase something, put all your effort into catching it, never ever to succeed at doing so? that's what puzzy has become for me lately. the work just isn't worth the reward. to me that takes alot of it out of wanting to obtaining it, the drive to get it, the hunger for it. I was happier and more satisfied the day I bought my new truck then I was the last time I got laid.

 

[DJDamage]

Maybe its not you, maybe its her.

Is she even trying to excite you or sex has become a routine chore like what happens in most marriages.

 

[Lexington]

Sex is like anything else......once you start getting it on a regular basis, it starts to become more mundane.

I'm sure I would be all giddy like a school girl if tomorrow I could be the owner of a Ferrari 458 Italia. But what about two years from now? It would still be the same car, but I just wouldn't feel that same level of excitement.

Once you've done anything hundreds of times, it starts to lose its novelty and it's just not as amazing as the first time.

 

[backbreaker]

Maybe its not you, maybe its her.

Is she even trying to excite you or sex has become a routine chore like what happens in most marriages.

it's not just her. I"m more attracted to her than any woman I see. I really do enjoy the sex with her.

but like, you know how like even when you are in a relationship.. you know you. you still look at other women. you still fantasize about bending that broad in the store over the counter and showing her whose boss. it's just gone.

I feel bad because I can tell I'm not as horny as I used to be.

For the first time.. hell, since we have been togehter, i turned down sex a few nights ago. she was giving me all the queues and what not, and i got ready and Just really wanted to go to sleep instead. I felt really bad about it and took her out to eat the next night, it's not her. i promise it's not her. she's very sexy to me. I just didn't wanna. and i kinda feel bad because i don't want to always have sex.

It's kinda like how can i put it.. sex is expected to be at the top of our list at all times. we are supposed to drop everything we are doing for sex as long as it's with someone suitable. b ut ****, sometimes it's not. right now it's just not to me. it's not her, I'm not gay, I'm not stressed out about anyting, I just don't want to right now, i need a sex time out lol. But to imply such for a man, i am finding out, is easier said than done. I mean, she knows me enough to know I'm not a horn toad. I never was a F 5 times a week guy, ever. But, i mean what do i do lol? the implications of a man not wanting to fvck his wife, are always implied to be bad. I'm kinda stuck in a rock and a hard place, no pun intended.

Im thinking, maybe i actually should go a month without sex. I wonder how she would take to that. maybe it would get my juices flowing again. But i know if a broad pulled that line on me i'd be ready to hit the eject button lol.

 

[st_99]

I think its just a phase. I've gone through periods where I'd f*ck anything that moved and then gone through stretches where i was like "yeah, whatever" and then back again. So it could be anything really but most likely you'll get back to being more of a horn dog at some point.

 

[CuriousGirl]

I agree and think it's unfair how it's difficult for men to be allowed to have a low sex drive - even if it's temporary.

What you suggested with the months abstinence could work, but you'd have to be proactive I think, you wouldn't want to just shut off desire. Still flirt and tease each other, still keep up physical contact; massage, fondling etc. Just perhaps say no sex and no climaxes for a month and see how that goes?

How much of his have you talked about with your wife, with what you're feeling on sex at the moment?

 

[C-quenced]

it's not just her. I"m more attracted to her than any woman I see. I really do enjoy the sex with her.

but like, you know how like even when you are in a relationship.. you know you. you still look at other women. you still fantasize about bending that broad in the store over the counter and showing her whose boss. it's just gone.

I feel bad because I can tell I'm not as horny as I used to be.

For the first time.. hell, since we have been togehter, i turned down sex a few nights ago. she was giving me all the queues and what not, and i got ready and Just really wanted to go to sleep instead. I felt really bad about it and took her out to eat the next night, it's not her. i promise it's not her. she's very sexy to me. I just didn't wanna. and i kinda feel bad because i don't want to always have sex.

It's kinda like how can i put it.. sex is expected to be at the top of our list at all times. we are supposed to drop everything we are doing for sex as long as it's with someone suitable. b ut ****, sometimes it's not. right now it's just not to me. it's not her, I'm not gay, I'm not stressed out about anyting, I just don't want to right now, i need a sex time out lol. But to imply such for a man, i am finding out, is easier said than done. I mean, she knows me enough to know I'm not a horn toad. I never was a F 5 times a week guy, ever. But, i mean what do i do lol? the implications of a man not wanting to fvck his wife, are always implied to be bad. I'm kinda stuck in a rock and a hard place, no pun intended.

Im thinking, maybe i actually should go a month without sex. I wonder how she would take to that. maybe it would get my juices flowing again. But i know if a broad pulled that line on me i'd be ready to hit the eject button lol.

In my OPINION you're not being honest with yourself and sex with your wife just did get old. I know you keep emphasizing it's not her but you never know. Do you believe this yourself? At least you can still get it up.

If other women aren't doing it for you then you might wanna try seeing a doctor. Just a suggestion. How anyone can have so low of a sex drive is beyond me.

 

[backbreaker]

In my OPINION you're not being honest with yourself and sex with your wife just did get old. I know you keep emphasizing it's not her but you never know. Do you believe this yourself? At least you can still get it up.

If other women aren't doing it for you then you might wanna try seeing a doctor. Just a suggestion. How anyone can have so low of a sex drive is beyond me.

case in point

 

[Griever114]

case in point

this. perhaps it did get "routine" as you sure seem to be treating it like a chore. perhaps spice things up?

I"m more attracted to her than any woman I see. I really do enjoy the sex with her.

if your attracted to her then you should by all means want to bend her over. you should see a doctor.

 

[backbreaker]

this. perhaps it did get "routine" as you sure seem to be treating it like a chore. perhaps spice things up?



if your attracted to her then you should by all means want to bend her over. you should see a doctor.

maybe

I mean, I enjoy her company. we are very affetionalte. I like cuddling up on the couch and watching TV with her, I like taking her out, I like holding her in my arms when we are sleeping, it's just the sticking the jimmy into kitty part that I just don't really feel like doing. with anyone. it's just not there right now.


I mean, I have not been without sex for more than what.. maybe a week in the last 7 years except for that time when that girl accused me of sexually assaulting her and i wouldn't touch anyone for a few weeks. maybe i'm just sexed out.

And it's not depression. i've dealt with depression before and usually all your drive to do anything leaves when you are depressed. I still have the drive for everything else in life. I just don't really feel like fvcking lol. I hate to sound like a little ***** or anything but I enjoy the other parts of our relationship.

we are going out to eat later tonight, I'm going to try to brouch the subject and see how it goes from there.

 

[Slickster]

What exactly is the problem here?

I would say most men reach a stage in their lives where their entire existence ceases to be ruled by sex. It's normal.

I still love sex and my wife turns me on big time but I don't always want it when she does. I turn her down too.

Congrats BB, you may have just "grown up".

 

[backbreaker]

What exactly is the problem here?

I would say most men reach a stage in their lives where their entire existence ceases to be ruled by sex. It's normal.

I still love sex and my wife turns me on big time but I don't always want it when she does. I turn her down too.

Congrats BB, you may have just "grown up".

I'm hoping this is it. I just feel really bad by turning her down like that, I don't want her to think she has done anything wrong or anything,. again I'm going to talk about it with her and see how it goes from there.

 

[iwanttofight]

take testosterone

 

[jafyk]

I envy you back breaker. I don't even see a problem here. There's more to life than sex. The thing that annoys me is when you are dealing with a non serious sexual problem and you are talking to a guy friend. Then the dumb @$$ says, "You need to get laid" Like getting laid is the cure to all of life's problems. When you even think about it the original decision of sex was just to create children. Everywhere you turn everyone is trying to sell you sex...sexy. Even when you have your mind on other things they try to make you feel bad for not engaging in sex.

 

[Kailex]

Sooooooooooooo, what's the problem again?

I guess I'm missing something here.

 

[jafyk]

Not sure there's a problem. I guess he's just sharing his experience and trying to see what people make of it. Then again people confuse me having a dirty mind with me being horny. To me it's not the same thing.

 

[AW1983]

Weird man, but I've been on the same trip. Just willingly gave up a pretty decent plate because a few little things about her were getting on my nerves.

When it comes to sex I feel kind of ambivalent about the whole thing these days. We'll see...

 

[omkara]

I think what you are going through is totally normal. There are lots of guys who get tired of sleeping with one girl, that's why they switch girls constantly. It's just that, our society places so much emphasis on sex that people think something is wrong when the sex drive goes down in a LTR. I think at that point, people should just be able to enjoy other aspects of a relationship, with sex thrown in there too.

I know you are a guy who has a lot of interests outside of bangin chicks, which is a good thing. When I was in a LTR, I got bored of sex pretty fast, because I'm an intellectual person. And her bugging me about it made me want it less. Sex is a pretty narrow thing. There's only so many ways you can do it. Now, for those people who can enjoy it consistently, all the more power to them, but I don't think that is the norm.

In my LTR, it ended up being a huge DHV that I denied her sex a lot. Usually it's supposed to be the woman withholding sex! But after 4 years it swung too far to the other side and she just ended up straight up feeling neglected and it was all downhill from there.