"I'll think about it", means...? (with exceptions)

[eightballer41]

Ok, well I'll lay the ground work out here.....I'm going to put it out there that I naturally have decent game, but like everyone out there I've at least had my fairshare of bumps in the road. I've come across something that I just can't figure out, or my emotions have completely gotten me mentally derailed. This is how I came across this site, so I apologize if I'm asking too much for a guy with just 1 post to his name.

ok, well I took the dive today and asked a girl out who I've known for about 2.5 months(?). Basically I told her to take the question lightly as I still want to be friends with her since she's really fun to hang with. Anyways, her response was that she wanted to get back to me (we talked in person) since she said that the question "surprised" her. The fact that she's never had a boyfriend, kissed a guy, etc. etc. would explain most of that.... (by the way, we're both 20+) I mean...it HAS to explain how she was so naive to all the hints I dropped....the 1 on 1 "dates", the physical horseplay, hugging from the back, poking, etc. I mean....WTF. Well, I'm gonna have to say that she means no...because the way I look at it, if she was also interested in me, then she wouldn't have to "think" about it, but then again because she's inexperienced in terms of relationships I'm trying to hold onto some light at the end of the tunnel, in that she does have some legit reason. Though, maybe her "thinking" was because of our age difference of 2 years, with me being the younger....or the fact that she lives across the country (we're studying abroad at the same school and still have 5 months to go)

Anyways, just wanted to see if any of you guys have ever been in my situation with this type of girl. Thing is, I haven't felt this way about a chick in 4 years, so its kind of a big bummer....From experience, I'm going with her saying "let's just stay friends", even though I was never in the friend zone...., but then again I've never dealt with this type of chick before......so things could be "up is down" if you catch my drift.

should I just move on and forget about it? Or is there any other advice to deal with this crap. I don't want to "Win" her over as that only leads to problems....the last time I did that my ex cheated on me probably because she didnt have enough interest in me to stay faithful.

 

[Interceptor]

Let me try to crack this one.........

You befriended this girl. You acted AFC with her. You told her your feelings for her.You built no sexual tension, or anything sexual , or any rapport as Man/Woman more as Friend/Friend. She was surprised, of course. And so were you.Because you were convinced you demonstrated masculinity, attraction, and were properly seducing her the ENTIRE time.Turns out, you DIDN'T, of course.
Now your rationalzing. She LJBFed you. You have Oneitis with her. And now you want to win her over, because you have no capacity for attracting any other woman in the world and this one is just 'really special", and your Ego took such a big hit you MUST win her over just to satisfy your Ego.

Am I close?

 

[eightballer41]

well, I wouldn't say that I don't have the capacity for attracting other women in the world....its more of the fact of between who I want to hook up and who I want to BE with. I judge alot on character....yeah sure, I can score a smokin hot chick, but whats the point of being with her, besides hooking up, if she's got a ***** like personality?

And she seems to be the latter, like I said I don't want to win her over for my above mentioned reason. As of now i havent lost much sleep over it, just wondering if anybody has experience with a girl of this type. As for not being "seductive" enough, its like I said, I wanted her to be more than a friend, and not a hookup....which requires ,in my opinion, respect for her....though maybe I'm missing something?

And thank you for putting out my big "EGO" which Im pretty sure i DONT have...otherwise why the hell would I be here.

 

[Interceptor]

Great. Good to hear you're more centered than I presumed.

But as a Male I'm sure you know that a lot of men hide their inadequacies, and often downplay them or try to convince others they don't have them.
The thing that raised my alarm was when you stated that (actually you didn't, if you re read your posts. Perhaps as psychological evasion?) you asked her 'the question" which I assumed was :

"Will you be my girlfiend?" Or something of the kind.
Often, when women don't 'get' that you're pursuing them romantically, it;s because a guy really ISN"T. He doesn't have the first clue on how women work so he courts her with flowers, candy, romantic dinners,etc. plus there were other red flags in your post too.

Heres the thing.
Ho much is she worth to you?

If your answer is 'not much":, then "next".
If your answer is "a lot", then stay on it.

But you need to watch how you interact with her.
If you want to be friends, then keep doing what you're doing.

If you want something romantic, and real, then you've got to change your actions.

 

[ZaReK]

I need to think about it.
No way.

Sounds like you told her "lightly" "hey, I'd like to be your bf but I don't want to be rude and too direct so I'll say it lightly". Goddamn, be a man and ask her straight and rude

She likes it or not. Dating and all that stuff is just for you to find if she's a match to you. If she isn't, for your own health, move on and find another girl that might be much more related to you.

Have fun with that.