IL up or down with this move?

[ematsuda]

I'd like to hear some opinions on this one:

Story in a nutshell: I've been dating this chick for approx. 2 months. Yes, we were intimate and blah, blah, blah. Toward the end she complained that I was "shady" and her friends think I'm using her for sex. Well, a couple of days later I asked her out. She declined my invite to go out and 2 days later the same thing so I backed off. After 5 days, she texted me asking if I was going out tonite but it didn't amount to much convo - just small talk 3 txt's each way. 4 more days went by and I saw her at an event that took place at a bar/lounge. I didn't go up to her or say hi or anything - pretty much ignored her the whole time I was there since my boyz and I were having so much fun with some other girls there. I didn't say "bye" either but later that night she texted me "you didn't even say hi or bye. you snob!" I didn't reply.

Question: Do you think her IL went up or down with this move.

 

[Mr. Wolf]

Up.. Because she was alone and needing you when she wrote that.. Next move, call her up, tell her to meet you at some place..


I don't know what you mean by asking her out? You picking her up? She meets you somewhere? Do something different.. Find a different place.. Tell her to meet you there or whatever the different is..

No sh!t talk, just let's go, meet there, or I'm picking you up, or whatever..


Tonight's still good for that..

 

[Gangster Of Love]

If her IL was/is already declining, then what you did will just confirm to her that she needs to do what her friends are telling her and get rid of you for good.

The fact that she declined your invite, twice, is enough of a sign that her IL is less than before. IL means she says yes, or counter offers you if she can't make it.

 

[ematsuda]

Mr. Wolf: I usually pick her up at her place. Her friends are blocking though, they think I'm no good because when I accidentally run into them in clubs and stuff, I only SOMETIMES acknowledge her, then later call her to come over to my place. That's why the friends think I'm using her because she submits to me especially after having a few drinks. I did however, take her to an expensive dinner later when she claimed I was "shady" but it didn't change things. She thinks I only did that because she complained about it. It's funny how friends have such a large influence in most cases.

 

[ematsuda]

If her IL was/is already declining, then what you did will just confirm to her that she needs to do what her friends are telling her and get rid of you for good.

The fact that she declined your invite, twice, is enough of a sign that her IL is less than before. IL means she says yes, or counter offers you if she can't make it.

This is what I was afraid of. But, let's hope you're wrong as she already gave in first by texting me twice when I backed off. I haven't initiated any contact with her after the 2 declines however she has twice texted me since. Can her friends influence her that much or will my nonstop distance out-do them in the long run?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Depends what kind of person she is. If she just goes with the flow and is more of a follower in her group, then she will do whatever to fit in. If she is very accomodating and doesn't really make her own decisions and is not the alpha, leader type, then her social group's approval will mean more to her than a guy she's been seeing for a couple of months.

If she texts you again, ask her "how will you make it up to me?", referring to her declining you twice.

Brother, I went through something like this during the summer. There is a reason why you were apparantley just with her for fun, because she apparently doens't have much dept to get involved seriously with. How far am I?

 

[Mr. Wolf]

Her friends are AFC playa haters.. Just be more unpredictable and establish what you want in this relationship.. Be it long term or fvck buddy.. Tell her what you are looking for..

 

[ematsuda]

Depends what kind of person she is. If she just goes with the flow and is more of a follower in her group, then she will do whatever to fit in. If she is very accomodating and doesn't really make her own decisions and is not the alpha, leader type, then her social group's approval will mean more to her than a guy she's been seeing for a couple of months.

If she texts you again, ask her "how will you make it up to me?", referring to her declining you twice.

Brother, I went through something like this during the summer. There is a reason why you were apparantley just with her for fun, because she apparently doens't have much dept to get involved seriously with. How far am I?

Unfortunately, she's more of a "follower" in the group. Good line BTW, I'll use it if she ever texts me again. As for your situation, I like her a lot but she's way too young for me - 16 yrs younger - she doesn't know how old I am and I look very young for my age and in very good shape. She's a hottie though, works at a night club as a bartender. Maybe that's why I like her more, every other guy in there likes her too.

 

[ematsuda]

Her friends are AFC playa haters.. Just be more unpredictable and establish what you want in this relationship.. Be it long term or fvck buddy.. Tell her what you are looking for..

By her actions, she doesn't want a fvck buddy. The problem is that when I get drunk, I sometimes drunk dial to ask her to come over (she does sometimes) and don't spend much time with her other than a few dates here and there.

 

[DonJuan11]

Yes, we were intimate and blah, blah, blah.

I love it how sex is so trivalized now.

Toward the end she complained that I was "shady" and her friends think I'm using her for sex.

Her IL dropped about 50 pts as soon as she said this

Well, a couple of days later I asked her out. She declined my invite to go out and 2 days later the same thing so I backed off. After 5 days, she texted me asking if I was going out tonite but it didn't amount to much convo - just small talk 3 txt's each way. 4 more days went by and I saw her at an event that took place at a bar/lounge. I didn't go up to her or say hi or anything - pretty much ignored her the whole time I was there since my boyz and I were having so much fun with some other girls there.

That's always respectful. Don't even acknowledge her and hit up on other girls while she is there. This is a girl who let you touch her body and inside her.

I didn't say "bye" either but later that night she texted me "you didn't even say hi or bye. you snob!" I didn't reply.

My thoughts exactly.

Question: Do you think her IL went up or down with this move.

If you called a girl a snob, didn't talk to her for 4 days, called her "shady", and didn't even acknowledge her at a party, do you think her interest level would be high? Do you think she would fall in love with you?

What kind of girl gets turned on when she is treated like that?

 

[ematsuda]

If you called a girl a snob, didn't talk to her for 4 days, called her "shady", and didn't even acknowledge her at a party, do you think her interest level would be high? Do you think she would fall in love with you?

What kind of girl gets turned on when she is treated like that?

She called ME a snob, NOT the other way around, in her text message because I didn't acknowledge her at the gathering. She's the one playing "cold", why should I press her by going up to her and her friends to say "hi". Also, there was nothing else for me to do except "not call" because she kept declining my invitations. Should I have kept calling/texting to invite her out? Don't think so.

 

[j0n024]

Unfortunately, she's more of a "follower" in the group. Good line BTW, I'll use it if she ever texts me again. As for your situation, I like her a lot but she's way too young for me - 16 yrs - she doesn't know how old I am and I look very young for my age and in very good shape. She's a hottie though, works at a night club as a bartender. Maybe that's why I like her more, every other guy in there likes her too.

Hmm she's underage and is handling liquor...weird. I dont know IF she initiates contact with you then I think you should do something but if she is waiting for you to act like a puppy and come when she calls then I wouldnt do it....but then again this is you so do whatever.

 

[ematsuda]

Hmm she's underage and is handling liquor...weird. I dont know IF she initiates contact with you then I think you should do something but if she is waiting for you to act like a puppy and come when she calls then I wouldnt do it....but then again this is you so do whatever.

Sorry, she not 16 yrs old, she's 16 yrs. younger at 21 yrs. old.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Sorry, she not 16 yrs old, she's 16 yrs. younger at 21 yrs. old.

16 years younger, and you don't know how to handle her? She's a fvckin' child for krissakes! When a 21 year old can manipulate or confuse a 37 year old, that's when I would worry.

So, she want's to start dating boy her own age. God forbid her friends want her to date some college age boys.

 

[DonJuan11]

She called ME a snob, NOT the other way around, in her text message because I didn't acknowledge her at the gathering. She's the one playing "cold", why should I press her by going up to her and her friends to say "hi". Also, there was nothing else for me to do except "not call" because she kept declining my invitations. Should I have kept calling/texting to invite her out? Don't think so.

OK let me explain this in layman's terms: Turn the situation around and then analyze it.

Please don't ask who layman is.

 

[ematsuda]

16 years younger, and you don't know how to handle her? She's a fvckin' child for krissakes! When a 21 year old can manipulate or confuse a 37 year old, that's when I would worry.

So, she want's to start dating boy her own age. God forbid her friends want her to date some college age boys.

Don't know about you but the REAL attractive young chicks are the flakiest and the biggest Drama Queens - IMO and experience. They know they're hot and they're immature about it. It's when they get mid to late 20's sort of "jaded" is when they start getting easier to handle. The young HB6's and 7's 21 yr. olds are easy meat - in which you're referring to - cuz not many guys out there want to keep them.

 

[ematsuda]

OK let me explain this in layman's terms: Turn the situation around and then analyze it.

Please don't ask who layman is.

Can't turn the situation around and analyze it because I would never text that to a chick so I don't know where she's coming from with that.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Don't know about you but the REAL attractive young chicks are the flakiest and the biggest Drama Queens - IMO and experience. They know they're hot and they're immature about it. It's when they get mid to late 20's sort of "jaded" is when they start getting easier to handle. The young HB6's and 7's 21 yr. olds are easy meat - in which you're referring to - cuz not many guys out there want to keep them.

The young ones are the biggest drama quens, but as they get older, regardless of looks, they learn how to manipulate men; zhit, they've been learning since they were little girls.

I am referring to any girl under 27 or so, at your age, you should know how to handle her, age being the only factor here.

 

[Nighthawk]

If she wasn't interested she wouldn't have texted you and called you a snob. Her IL is quite high, but she wants you on her and her friends terms and doesn't want to feel 'used.'

 

[ready123]

it probably went down

she thought you were a playa and her friends backed up the thought. if you wanted to have sex with her again, all you had to do was defuse the playa image by being vulnerable, gaining her trust, etc

instead you confirmed her suspicions

if you have high enough value though, it might not matter