Ignore or bring it up...

[drf408]

So I started seeing this girl a few weeks back. I actually like her, she's a bit older yet looks much younger, which is great. I just hooked up with her last weds for the first time. Sunday she was with her friends and I was out with mine, we were texing, I invited her to come to where I was. I was with 7 other people.

She shows up with 2 people, I wave her over, she comes over to me, her 2 friends go to the opposite side of the table we are at. She stays with me for a minute (if) then goes and sits with her friends at the other side. My friends watching this, including another girl, shrug and and mention how weird it was. I was like fine, whatever and I just sat back down.She starts texting "how is the other side of the table?" I responded "you couldve stayed", she said "its awkward". None of us could figure out how it could be awkward.

She had been drinking but wasn't that drunk. So I go over and talk to her. One of her friends is a dbag guy who made it impossible, he was talking **** about the rest of the table. Everyone hated the guy, even our waitress, enough to say something about it after they left. Her other friend was her sourpuss looking girlfriend who just creepily stares and acts like a *****.

I got all of 2 minutes of my girls time, just enough for her tell me (again as i go the play by play of it via text night of) of her night and how they hung out with a celebrity blah blah, they got in table table blah blah, we're so special etc. Then they left. EVERYONE at the there thought my girl was being weird and rude and making it awkward, including the girls present.
Next day, clearly the girl thinks it's me and is now being flaky and distant. I haven't said anything about it but its kind of irritating me. Do I say anything at all or let it slide? I did like her up until this but hardly the way I expect a chick over 30 to act.

 

[bukowski_merit]

She shows up with 2 people, I wave her over, she comes over to me, her 2 friends go to the opposite side of the table we are at. She stays with me for a minute (if) then goes and sits with her friends at the other side. My friends watching this, including another girl, shrug and and mention how weird it was. I was like fine, whatever and I just sat back down.She starts texting "how is the other side of the table?" I responded "you couldve stayed", she said "its awkward". None of us could figure out how it could be awkward.

"You couldve stayed" is passive and needy.

Better you should have played with her.

HER: "How is the other side of the table?"
YOU: "Smells better now that you went to that side."

Then when she tries to come back to your side - trying to wave her back to her area.... "no no... go back, go back..." brushing her off... (hard to explain through text, but i see it in my head).

You're busting the sh!t out of her because she went weird on you. You don't know the reason. I don't know the reason.

Better to not use ANY form of logic to try to figure it out.

She had been drinking but wasn't that drunk. So I go over and talk to her. One of her friends is a dbag guy who made it impossible, he was talking **** about the rest of the table. Everyone hated the guy, even our waitress, enough to say something about it after they left. Her other friend was her sourpuss looking girlfriend who just creepily stares and acts like a *****.

Careful buddy, this girl sounds like the company she keeps is full of dbags, jerks and b!tches. Which... Probably means she's accustumed to being treated badly by people.... Which means, she will not respect a man who treats her good (not saying that's you; just warning you.)

If you're a natural @sshole - party on.

If you're more of a good guy - this probably won't work out. Unless of course she's on the hunt for a nice guy provider. But who wants to be that for a b!tch?

I got all of 2 minutes of my girls time, just enough for her tell me (again as i go the play by play of it via text night of) of her night and how they hung out with a celebrity blah blah, they got in table table blah blah, we're so special etc. Then they left. EVERYONE at the there thought my girl was being weird and rude and making it awkward, including the girls present.

Who cares? Don't rely so much on other people for validating your own opinion. The girl in question sounds like a loser to me. A freak at best.

Next day, clearly the girl thinks it's me and is now being flaky and distant. I haven't said anything about it but its kind of irritating me. Do I say anything at all or let it slide? I did like her up until this but hardly the way I expect a chick over 30 to act.

She's bad news.... But the good news is - you haven't invested much emotionally into her...

Best you keep it that way.

 

[GhostWriter]

That's why I usually like to isolate. I only let her hang out with my group once we've established a girlfriend boyfriend relationship.

I've had situations like these before, now I don't anymore.

 

[Mike32ct]

So I started seeing this girl a few weeks back. I actually like her, she's a bit older yet looks much younger, which is great. I just hooked up with her last weds for the first time. Sunday she was with her friends and I was out with mine, we were texing, I invited her to come to where I was. I was with 7 other people.

I'm getting a bad feeling now. I don't care for the group thing, at least not early on in any relationship.

She shows up with 2 people, I wave her over, she comes over to me, her 2 friends go to the opposite side of the table we are at. She stays with me for a minute (if) then goes and sits with her friends at the other side.

Oh geez.

My friends watching this, including another girl, shrug and and mention how weird it was. I was like fine, whatever and I just sat back down.She starts texting "how is the other side of the table?" I responded "you couldve stayed", she said "its awkward". None of us could figure out how it could be awkward.

She's either really shy or really rude. I'm not sure.

She had been drinking but wasn't that drunk. So I go over and talk to her. One of her friends is a dbag guy who made it impossible, he was talking **** about the rest of the table. Everyone hated the guy, even our waitress, enough to say something about it after they left.

Red flag is she has friends that act like that.

Her other friend was her sourpuss looking girlfriend who just creepily stares and acts like a *****.

This girlfriend is probably the single one. The b*tchier one is always the one who doesn't have a man or hasn't been laid (by a guy she wants) in a while lol. But she's probably not worth the effort.

I got all of 2 minutes of my girls time, just enough for her tell me (again as i go the play by play of it via text night of) of her night and how they hung out with a celebrity blah blah, they got in table table blah blah, we're so special etc.

Celebrity worshipper. One of the top ten AW traits.

Then they left. EVERYONE at the there thought my girl was being weird and rude and making it awkward, including the girls present.

Can't disagree with them.

Next day, clearly the girl thinks it's me and is now being flaky and distant. I haven't said anything about it but its kind of irritating me. Do I say anything at all or let it slide? I did like her up until this but hardly the way I expect a chick over 30 to act.[/QUOTE]

I'd let her go. Unless she contacts you and literally invites you to her place, I wouldn't bother.

I also agree with Bukowski's analysis about her with jerks and b*tches.

 

[drf408]

Thanks! All good points. She clearly feels I am the one who was in the wrong and has put up defense now, seems like I'd have to chase the **** out of her. Not going to bother, disappointing as she seemed cool up until then and I just hooked up with her and she was much better than expected. What is AW? Girls like this one are everywhere in S.Cal, outside of looks, just the most terrible women. Easy as hell to hook up with, but unless you want to put up with the game of how much **** they can give you and how much attention you still give them, you're screwed for anything else.

 

[Iceberg]

Thanks! All good points. She clearly feels I am the one who was in the wrong and has put up defense now, seems like I'd have to chase the **** out of her. Not going to bother, disappointing as she seemed cool up until then and I just hooked up with her and she was much better than expected. What is AW? Girls like this one are everywhere in S.Cal, outside of looks, just the most terrible women. Easy as hell to hook up with, but unless you want to put up with the game of how much **** they can give you and how much attention you still give them, you're screwed for anything else.

Well here's the issue: In your first post you said you've been "seeing her for a few weeks"....but you just hooked up with her last Wed.

In my world, I hook up with a girl, and THEN start "seeing" her.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds to me like you spent weeks talking to this girl, and things didn't escalate sexually until last Wednesday. And I'm still not even sure you had sex, because the term "hook up" can mean lots of things.

And a (possible) reason this girl might be treating you distantly is because she wants to establish "okay, I hooked up with this guy, but he is NOT a boyfriend."

 

[drf408]

Yes, had sex. I don't think shes distancing herself because she wants me to be sure that she's not my gf but that she thinks incorrectly I was showing disinterest. The same Sunday we met up and that odd scenario presented itself she was texting me things such as "Wondering when I get to see you again" etc. Seems she expects a lot of attention and it was obvious once she started droning on how special her and her friend were that they got to hang out with so and so and they got right in...blah blah. She is a hard core party girl, I can live with that but doesn't seem to be the most mature one. As said above, unless she wants to just have me over prob best to move on.

And that is correct, seeing her as in hanging out with her, no other real context. I could've made something happen quite a bit earlier (i think) but I got too drunk or unsure, not unusual for me. But yes, I put a few weeks in prior to anything happening last weds. Definitely not ideal, though I am not good at escalating things fast, I'm terrible at figuring out whether its appropriate or not. Often I will wait for the most obvious situation, after a night out, in my bed etc.