If you're feeling down/depressed about your parent's authority

[AlexLefty]

According to Brehm (1966), we need to believe that we have
freedom of choice. When we believe that this is not the case
and when we believe that we are entitled to freedom, we
experience reactance, an unpleasant emotional state. To
reduce it, and restore the sense of freedom, we disobey.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

True.

I don't get it.

 

[ilikecharlene]

Parents control children, it's the human condition, get over it. :rock:

Before somebody flames me, a parent's job is to care for their children, so total freedom is unrealistic. Also, we live in a society were strictness is seen as "bad" and freedom/licence as good, so complaining about stricteness or control is just a modern bias. Everybody seeks out freedom of course, but it genuinely makes me laugh when I hear young people complain about how strict their parents are. These people give you clothing, food and shelter, and don't terribly abuse you, and because they do one thing that is not to your liking that makes them "bad" people? lol...

 

[Amo]

Parents control children, it's the human condition, get over it. :rock:

Before somebody flames me, a parent's job is to care for their children, so total freedom is unrealistic. Also, we live in a society were strictness is seen as "bad" and freedom/licence as good, so complaining about stricteness or control is just a modern bias. Everybody seeks out freedom of course, but it genuinely makes me laugh when I hear young people complain about how strict their parents are. These people give you clothing, food and shelter, and don't terribly abuse you, and because they do one thing that is not to your liking that makes them "bad" people? lol...

I agree to an extent with this. I see so many people complain about the stupidest little things.

I love my parents - my only issue is that my dad can be a bit strict when it comes to leaving the house. He's not very social himself outside of the workplace, and it manifests in his decisions.

 

[AlexLefty]

True.

I don't get it.

Merely meant to give some insight.
If you know the reasoning behind things, you'll feel better because you'll feel like you have more control.

I know it helps me.

 

[LearningSlowly]

What helped me was to realize that my parents are as egoic as I am. They lash out, try to take control, rationalize their behavior and can't control their emotions.

My dad especially has always given me constant sh!t tests, he said he "likes to give me a hard time" recently, and I remember him often rationalizing things when I was younger by saying that he was just giving me a hard time. A hard time means he'll quiz me on sports knowledge if I'm watching sports, contest things I say, has a really hard time losing to me, whatever. I've always been closer to my mom, maybe he resents that. I wish he could have gotten me more into sports when I was younger though.

My mom can't talk at all about sex, she recently realized I do drugs and became more alright with it (apparently thanks to my dad).

They both have their hang-ups and egoic issues. That only motivates me to eliminate mine, so that if I ever become a parent I won't pass dangerous ego down to my kids. I try to forgive my parents for their issues.

 

[AlexLefty]

What helped me was to realize that my parents are as egoic as I am. They lash out, try to take control, rationalize their behavior and can't control their emotions.

My dad especially has always given me constant sh!t tests, he said he "likes to give me a hard time" recently, and I remember him often rationalizing things when I was younger by saying that he was just giving me a hard time. A hard time means he'll quiz me on sports knowledge if I'm watching sports, contest things I say, has a really hard time losing to me, whatever. I've always been closer to my mom, maybe he resents that. I wish he could have gotten me more into sports when I was younger though.

My mom can't talk at all about sex, she recently realized I do drugs and became more alright with it (apparently thanks to my dad).

They both have their hang-ups and egoic issues. That only motivates me to eliminate mine, so that if I ever become a parent I won't pass dangerous ego down to my kids. I try to forgive my parents for their issues.

I know how you feel - kinda. It seems like maybe your dad gives you **** tests because he wasn't accepted by his dad. I have a friend like this. His dad doesn't really respect him and fvcks with him and makes fun of him in a mean way all the time. This is really fvcking up my friend. Maybe the same thing happened to your dad and he's just doing a dumbed down version to you. I see myself as equal to my dad. I have his respect no matter what. Even if I don't have his respect, I think I do anyways. Maybe it'll help.

With my dad, he just yells all the time and does severe mind fvcking/guilt trips etc. I don't close the door, yell, I leave the light on, yell, he steps on a pencil on the floor, yell. I combat it by being sarcastic and acting like I don't give a fvck, even though I know this is bad. I'm trying to change.

While we're at it, what other inner things do you need to spill about your family? :rock: