If your wife got fat would you ask her for permission for an open marriage?

[MatureDJ]

If I ever were in a position where my wife ballooned out while still somewhat young (like a lot of women do), I think I would just flat out tell her that I find sex with her repulsive, and that I need to be able to have sex with other women - and that could be done with amateurs or professionals (as her choice.) The alternative is to actually go out and cheat on her, or divorce her like a friend of mine did to his 250 lb cow (now with a 110 lb marathon runner.)

How do you all feel about this?

 

[The Gambler]

If I ever were in a position where my wife ballooned out while still somewhat young (like a lot of women do), I think I would just flat out tell her that I find sex with her repulsive, and that I need to be able to have sex with other women - and that could be done with amateurs or professionals (as her choice.) The alternative is to actually go out and cheat on her, or divorce her like a friend of mine did to his 250 lb cow (now with a 110 lb marathon runner.)

How do you all feel about this?

My rouge Christian beliefs aside, , I wouldn't go quite as far as to suggest prostitutes... But I would be up-front and direct about how I was no longer attracted to this person. We all age, and should be allowed to show our natural aging (which usually includes a little extra weight). But it is a huge sign of disrespect, to the BOTH of you, when she just lets herself go and doesn't care anymore. Here's the double-barrel shotgun line to use:

"How am I supposed to care about you if you don't even care about yourself????"

Maybe a little cheesy, but a VERY TRUE statement. After you ask the question, be quiet. DO NOT SAY ANYTHING until SHE responds. If she gives an excuse (stress, work, kids, finances, etc.), be ready to deflect it. For example:

"So, your overeating is helping the situation HOW????"

She's gonna get pissed off. But stick to your guns and reel her back in:

"We need to find REAL solutions to these problems. I'm ready to do as much as I can for us to tackle these issues together, but we need to make sure we're moving forwards, not backwards."

Blah-de-blah-blah. Something like that. Figure out the root-cause of the problem. It might be that she takes you for granted and no longer cares about her appearance (it's funny how some women don't even consider the fact you might grab your stuff and leave).

The Gambler

 

[backbreaker]

if my wife got fat i would file for divorce. no if's and's or buts about it. she knows this. if i got fat and became a slob she'd probably at best stop putting otu and at worst cheat or get a divorce. **** i wouldn't' blame her that's not what she signed up for.

though this is why you screen a woman. she still has the same workout routine and eating habits as the day i met her. 5 and a half years ago. that's just who she is she's a health nut. she won't get fat. she won't get thick.

 

[goundra]

why would you LET her gain even 20 lbs (and not file for divorce?) Something is wrong, best fix it and fast, or bail out.

 

[samspade]

Divorce.

 

[backbreaker]

set the tone for this thread lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlv32UEazGc

 

[Mr.Positive]

I would say that if I was married (which I do not ever plan to), that the weight gain is just a sign of a bigger problem. Any gal that is with me, and follows my lead, will basically have to live an active healthy lifestyle just to keep pace with me.

If a gal gains a large amount of weight, usually that's from being sedentary and overeating. Incompatibility issues would have forced me to be long gone by then. She would be better suited with a man who has similar hobbies.

 

[zeeshan]

"wife got fondled by single guy on dance floor
Single guy felt her breasts, ass, and play with her but only through pants
Single said he wanted to "do my wife"
Wife dirty danced with single guy and felt his unit through his pants
Single guy asked my wife if she was married and she said yes, but in an open marriage"

Dude, are you ****ing with me here??
If I catch any dude slow dancing with my wife touching her in any way like you described she will be out the ****ing door. She has no respect for you. She told you all this?!?!?!?

Sorry for you man but she is a *****.

 

[Crazystarf]

Where did you get all the above? I don't see that anywhere?

Maybe it was an example regarding to the topic?

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

90% of you will end up with fatties. Reality, get used to it.

 

[Crazystarf]

90% of you will end up with fatties. Reality, get used to it.

What if you avoid marriage altogether? No issues with your gf being fat and stuff if you can hop over from one girl to another.

It's just her mindset that needs to be adjusted in order for her to stay in shape (and look good).

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Most superifical shallow thread of the week

 

[zekko]

A wife getting fat is the equivalent of a husband without ambition.

This seems to be the male version of a man losing his job, falling on hard times, and the wife dumping him.

 

[betheman]

This seems to be the male version of a man losing his job, falling on hard times, and the wife dumping him.

anyone can lose their job through no fault of their own, a person gets fat and out of shape....?

 

[zekko]

anyone can lose their job through no fault of their own, a person gets fat and out of shape....?

A man can lose his job through no fault of his own, certainly. Or it could be his fault. In any case, the man is expected to pick himself back up and get on his feet again.

But it is also possible to suddenly start gaining weight without changing your habits. And it's true that you should make adjustments at this point. Excuses aren't going to help anybody, whether it's weight or making an income.

Either way, a spouse is getting let down. Of course, it's supposed to be until death do us part, but we all know that's been out the window for a long time, right? Apparently it's more like "until 20 pounds do us part" lol.

Men have dropped the ball economically. Women are attending and graduationg college at a higher rate than men. There's simply no excuse for that from the man's side. It might be okay if guys were propelling the economy forward like gangbusters, but that isn't true either, is it? Men have been the political leaders during all this time when the national debt has gone through the stratosphere. Women are failing men, men are failing women, everyone is failing everybody.

 

[goundra]

I will never be in that 90%. I was there, for a while, and I hated it, and so would any self respecting man.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Don't be such an enabler.

There's nothing shallow about having certain physical standards that you expect your wife to maintain. She isn't just your friend. Physical attraction is a necessary condition for a healthy non-platonic relationship.

Take that shaming nonsense elsewhere or educate yourself.

Lol dude, you are talking about marraige. To death right? My grandmother is 95 and my grandfather died when he as 88. What do you think her breasts and his **** looked like then, huh? Haha, "maintain", brah we're all going to be dust and old bones before that, don't you know any better?

Not one person said "work out with her".

What about being a leader and a real man who picks others up rather than schluffs the weak to the curb.

Educate yo self ultimate knower of truth.

 

[bonie]

I would never even marry a woman, much less stay with her, if she was not a "work out fanatic", and also very active in other physical pursuits, such as volleyball, backpacking, cycling, and dancing. Fat ass is dead ass, man.

 

[namthebabe]

It depends.

did she get fat due to lack of exercise? a medical condition? a naturally slowing metabolism? it's not so cut and dry IMO.

The former reason would concern, but not the latter ones.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

You negged me for disagreeing with your ego invested view of the world? Bravo.

2 years here and I've never been 'negged'. That says a lot about you.

No one gains 20 lbs without being aware of what they're doing to themselves and their partner. Surely 'love' should be enough of a motivator to keep herself in shape? If it isn't then there are bigger things to worry about than her weight gain.

And your solution of "working out with her" is laughable and temporary at best. To use Danger's analogy if a man grows disillusioned or bored with his job and leaves, despite having a wife to please, even if she happens to help him find a new job any positive outcome is transient. The fundamental problem is the man and his lack of ambition. The same is true for the woman who knowingly lets herself go.

And your oh so altruistic "working out with her plan" can backfire. I've seen it happen. She may resent you for "trying to change her".

"Why can't you love me for meeeeeee!"

Barring some extreme circumstance (car crash comes to mind) or the general decline in physical standards that comes with old age, leaving your wife is a reasonable response in the face of her refusal to change. No-one in society would fault a woman for (eventually) leaving a man who lacked the means to provide for his family. Even if he was trying to find work! And yet I'm shallow and inhuman because I don't want to stay with a fat wife, whose refusal to shift weight is a pretty good indication that she doesn't care about the relationship?

In the words of Eddie Murphy "get the f*ck out of here with that bullsh*t!"

Hey Cityboy,

You quote Rollo, Danger and Eddie Murphy, but where are your own words?

Most here recycle others ideas than look for their own truth.