Well after replying to several Discussion threads I have to make one of my own. It seems a lot of newbies and even Recovering AFC's are not correcting one of the basic mistakes in communicating with women.
Mistakes:
1) Talking too much.
2) Talking weakly.
3) Putting her needs first. (this affects how you communicate)
Now all these things have been duscussed before on several tip threads but I don't remember ever seeing any lately or one that includes all these tips. So here goes.
1) Talking too much makes you sound nervous. It also causes you to say way too much. Which means you'll say things you really really shouldn't have said. For example: "I really really like you. I've liked you for a long time." Don't tell her this, all she needs to know is your interested. If you say more it just gives her power. Imagine giving her ammunition to shoot you down with. The less she knows about your feelings the better. I'm not saying act like a cold dead fish. No, when you take her out have a blast, joke, laugh, sing, but do not start talking like a 14 year old with his first crush. Men do not have crushes, we have interests.
2) Talking weakly is well, weak. You are a man not a boy. You talk like a man, and that means your voice should have power and strength portrayed in it. It's been said before but it needs to be repeated. Especially talking on the phone requires a strong voice. Imagine your voice being the hammer. She talks and talks and talks, but whenever you talk it should cut through whatever she is saying. The sound of your voice should shut her up. If you both start talking, keep talking. Don't stop and say "go ahead". What you are saying is usually more important. She does most of the talking but when you say something it should mean more.
3) If you call you do not have to ask her what she is doing. When you call a girl you call for a reason. Joke a little but get to the point with a few minutes. Get your answer, be it asking her on a date, answers to a question, what color shirt goes with your tie, whatever. If she says she's busy right now, tell her you just had a question. Say your question and get off the phone. If she wants to talk that's what a date is for. Don't let her find out what kind of person you are without being around you. I say this because your presance has a powerful affect on a girl. If you are on a date with her there is your sound, smell, feel, looks, and the feeling of your presance. These things can really affect her attraction to you.
I hope this helps you out. It seems phone calls are not discussed in very much depth except for "calling is for setting up dates". A lot of times when i call up a girl for the first time I try to make it a different kind of conversation. Something that will spark her interest again so that she remembers why she gave me the # in the first place.
Mistakes:
1) Talking too much.
2) Talking weakly.
3) Putting her needs first. (this affects how you communicate)
Now all these things have been duscussed before on several tip threads but I don't remember ever seeing any lately or one that includes all these tips. So here goes.
1) Talking too much makes you sound nervous. It also causes you to say way too much. Which means you'll say things you really really shouldn't have said. For example: "I really really like you. I've liked you for a long time." Don't tell her this, all she needs to know is your interested. If you say more it just gives her power. Imagine giving her ammunition to shoot you down with. The less she knows about your feelings the better. I'm not saying act like a cold dead fish. No, when you take her out have a blast, joke, laugh, sing, but do not start talking like a 14 year old with his first crush. Men do not have crushes, we have interests.
2) Talking weakly is well, weak. You are a man not a boy. You talk like a man, and that means your voice should have power and strength portrayed in it. It's been said before but it needs to be repeated. Especially talking on the phone requires a strong voice. Imagine your voice being the hammer. She talks and talks and talks, but whenever you talk it should cut through whatever she is saying. The sound of your voice should shut her up. If you both start talking, keep talking. Don't stop and say "go ahead". What you are saying is usually more important. She does most of the talking but when you say something it should mean more.
3) If you call you do not have to ask her what she is doing. When you call a girl you call for a reason. Joke a little but get to the point with a few minutes. Get your answer, be it asking her on a date, answers to a question, what color shirt goes with your tie, whatever. If she says she's busy right now, tell her you just had a question. Say your question and get off the phone. If she wants to talk that's what a date is for. Don't let her find out what kind of person you are without being around you. I say this because your presance has a powerful affect on a girl. If you are on a date with her there is your sound, smell, feel, looks, and the feeling of your presance. These things can really affect her attraction to you.
I hope this helps you out. It seems phone calls are not discussed in very much depth except for "calling is for setting up dates". A lot of times when i call up a girl for the first time I try to make it a different kind of conversation. Something that will spark her interest again so that she remembers why she gave me the # in the first place.
